My mother married right out of University and since then has been a SAHM/SAHW. She only ever held one job, over the summer, when she was 20 and and has never had a job since.
She has lived a very comfortable life - children at a young age, divorced but remarried quickly so no change in her financial circumstances, moderately successful husband and kids at home until they left when she was 48. Since then she has spent the last 40+ years travelling, pottering and quite frankly stretching out daily chores into the day. She is part of a weird generation of mc women who expected to be cared for and probably never expected to work.
By contrast I have worked FT since leaving University, now a single parent, still working and juggling everything.
The fact that mum has never worked means she's lived in a real bubble, and has very skewed views about public life and the world of work. This causes huge rifts between us and really affects our relationship.
- She has very little concept of what work is like and the pressures of modern work so when I explain that I am stressed she thinks that it's my fault and I need to manage it.
- She doesn't understand that people need to do work outside of 9-5
- She has no real sense of what it's like to have someone instructing you/telling you what to do; she has literally been 'self guided' her entire life
- She thinks it's easy to get a job and promotion so doesn't understand why they aren't forthcoming for me or my siblings.
- She is deeply unproductive so thinks juggling means trying to do the dishes and laundry in the same morning and considers that 'busy-ness' to be on par with mine
- She is very naive about money and assumes everyone is on a relatively good wage. She doesn't understand why I can't go part-time.
- She dresses in organic frocks and proudly doesn't wear makeup or do her hair but her 'hippyness' is a privilege - she doesn't clock that other people actually have to look and dress professionally for work.
- She doesn't help me in any way - financially or with DCs - because she's always too busy doing nothing at all, but she's 'very busy'.
I know I should be grateful that she's not working in a factory to scrape by, but her naiviety means there's an entire aspects of my life she doesn't understand and over the years it's caused real tensions. I partly resent that she doesn't get it and partly resent that she's had such an easy ride that she takes for granted or really considers her due.
Posting just to see if anyone else has the same problem and how they made peace with it.