Should he have gotten mad about this?

[SillyHousewife]

Just trying to get some perspective on this. I was out with my BF of 12 months the other day and we sat down at the yacht club to have dinner. I selected a small steak and chips that came with salad. When he went to the counter to order, I asked if he could check if they could give me veges over salad - I thought this was a pretty standard request. Apparently they said no and that's fine. What wasn't fine was that when he came back, I could tell he was in a bad mood but had no idea why.

I asked what was wrong and he sternly said something like, "You don't change menu items". He waffled a bit saying that it was awkward for him to ask and he told (not asked) me to not ask him to do that again. It's the first time I've seen him cranky with me and I didn't think I did anything wrong. He was unexpectedIy stern and I got upset which ruined my dinner. Because I got teary, I made a mid-dinner escape to the toilet to compose myself - he didn't see me cry but must have known he upset me.

He did apologise a couple of times but it's left a really bad taste in my mouth. I may be over-reacting/over-sensitive but as it's the first time I've seen him mad like that and he made me feel like absolute S$%t over it, I'm not sure if I'm dwelling too much on it or not.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here as I don't believe it was too terrible of me to ask for veges but I guess I'm just wondering if I'm worrying too much about a one-off event or if his behaviour over something so small is a warning of things to come.

@SleepingBunnies21

Say you never eat out with him again (utterly ridiculous in a relationship but anyway ..) to avoid his "issue"; do you believe this "crazy" won't leak out in other ways?

I find it hard to believe.

Also find it hard to believe.

Mind you the man I described earlier didn't do anything like that again but he was irritating and a bit wet in other ways 😂

I feel really sorry for the OP & can really relate. I’ve had similar treatment in the past too.
I’m in agreement with Get Rid ASAP. This is just a taster of things to come.

Be wary of people who turn their lack of confidence and anxiety into an attack on you. I dated someone like this. It was torture.

If it's a one off, and he's open about why he made that comment, maybe you can move on but I'd be wary of how your behaviour changes or if this continues to be a theme.

Perfectly normal to switch salad for veg or vice versa. In fact many (most?) places now ask which you'd prefer.

So your ideas are not out-dated. In fact quite the opposite - it's much more common now for people to request switches or slight changes, and any half-decent cafe or restaurant wouldn't bat an eyelid.

He seems to be sensitive to the fact that you've done this 3 times. He's still over-reacting (although I used to know someone who switched it seemed for the sake of it, every time...really irritiating. So if they advertised scampi with a side salad she'd ask if they'd do it with veg, and if they offered it with veg she'd ask for a salad. But it doesn't sound you're doing it for sport as she did).