Dating thread 214 - the no rules one!

[BelladiMamma]

Here are the only rules what matter!

As for anything else OLD not listed here - make your own ❤️

Second date with Ms Cosmopolitan today. 3 hour round trip for second weekend running.

Conversation flowed and definite connection but no more than peck on the cheek.

She isn't sure whether she really wants a relationship.

Managed to stop myself asking "What's the harm in a snog while you are making up your mind?"

@SortingItOut oh cool, I’m originally from Norfolk, (near Cromer) born & bred, but left about 25 years ago

@TobyEsterhase 3 hours is a big round trip, especially if you only get a peck on the cheek

@BelladiMamma if your having a great date then I’m deffo going to wear a dress a next time

@TobyEsterhase

It's not really a "trade-off", consent and all that?

If you're not happy doing the commute and think she's not too enthusiastic, then set a boundary and don't agree to meet again unless she comes halfway or to your city next

but expecting some physical "reward" is just a bit icky and desperate?

@SpringlikeBunk

She suggested visiting me next time

Fairly sure she is enthusiastic. Could be 101 different reasons why she is less keen to get physical than me

She is definitely worth waiting for ( I think)

@TobyEsterhase

it's good you think there's a connection! I guess it's just one meet at a time really and see how it goes?

"what are you looking for from bumble?"

@SortingItOut so sorry to hear about your poor cat

@FireandBrimstone

Very excited to hear about tonight's date *@Bella*, outfit sounds amazing!

I've had a bit of an uptick in action - met Mr Sexty for a date zero walk thing on Friday, and twilight drinks (second time meeting) with Mr Printer yesterday.

Mr Sexty - very nice, entertaining. Terrible outfit that made him look like an old man. I would consider some kind of FWB type arrangement with him but defining that would need some thought.

Mr Printer - A fun date. I really do fancy him! More than the first time we met, too.Due to his limited availability, nothing will progress with any speed at all. Could do with more overt positive signals from him but I think that is just the way he is. He did talk about a 'next time' so that's positive.

It's a long time since I've kissed someone! And my STBXH was a rubbish kisser. So I'm worried that I've forgotten what a good kiss feels like and/or if, when the time comes, I'll be rubbish at it!!!!

(Lol, can't believe I'm thinking about this, let alone whether I can remember how to do anything more than kissing 😳)

@FireandBrimstone curious what made you categorise Mr Sexty as a FWB? Is he living up to his name?

Frustrating about Mr Printer - will his limited availability improve in the future?

As for the kissing, isn't it a bit like riding a bike 😆?

I feel very rude and judgemental now!

Got the standard "what are you looking for" message from a good-looking 28 year old.

Replied honestly and asked the same back, but was feeling a bit as that's often the prelude to asking for a hook-up.

He replied back - he has further professional exams coming up next year (I know vaguely the ones he means) and depending on how he does in those he might have to move, so he doesn't want to mess anyone around who wants a really long term thing....so just being decent.

Wasn't that interested originally, but kind of feel it might be worth a drink!

@SortingItOut

Good luck with today's dates 🤞

I can't remember which man on the thread went on a Terrarium course but today my local museum has posted to advertise a terrarium course and I thought of him because until he posted I hadn't heard about courses in making one.
So if you're in East Anglia and interested I'll give you the details.

The East Anglian contingent met today, it consisted of @Dancerinthemoonlight and myself😂
Next meet is Sunday 31st October - fancy dress optional👻😂

Sad day in the sorting household, my cat was run over and killed in the middle of the night so I was outside at 2.30am wrapping my cat up in towels - theres no sleeping once you've done that☹

Sorry about your cat, that's sad.

My mum is in Suffolk, but I don't really plan on being over there any time soon.

@Thatdudeinlondon was the terrarium guy.

Thought CatInHat was terrarium guy?

Oh! I think you're right. Neither seem to post any more.

Dipping my toes in the murky world of online dating and not a clue what I am doing. Its been a long time since I've dated (20 years+) and I've had some lovely mutual likes and chats. It's only early days nd I've got some numbers with the offer of some coffee dates. This evening I got a huge telling off from a potential suitor, he said he could see my green light was on (meaning I was back on the site) i was being rude and that I should be considering his feelings and not be back on there after he bared his soul to me. I don't know what the online dating etiquette really is. Am I supposed to pause looking after we swap numbers or stick to one at a time? It's really baffled me as I was told to chat to as many as you can and then go on dates with them all.

Sorry hope this is the right place to ask this. I am.jusy clueless how it all works.

@SortingItOut so sorry about your cat. I had that happen to mine a few years ago and it broke my heart at the time.

I went on a date zero today. Was unplanned ..i got talking to a guy on tinder the other night ( yes i went back on it) and he messaged today and suggested meeting for coffee.
I met him and we chatted quite well over coffee abd he asked if I'd like dinner too so we went for an italian. He was offish and dismissive of the waiters... really put me off.
He walked me back to my car ( opposite way to his) . I dudnt even kiss him...
Glad i went but sad no spark.

@Nahnahnah the potential suitor had no right to say that to you! Unless you’ve agreed to be in a relationship with him it’s up to you what you do on the sites and how long you stay on there. I’m chatting to a few at once.

@Nahnahnah Would suggest your potential suitor is the one being rude and overly needy

Whole point of OLD is to chat with then meet up with a variety of people. Only when you get into a relationship with someone is it reasonable to expect them to stay off the apps.

Two people might have a completely different concept of when a "relationship" has started I suppose

Thank you! I have unknowingly turned into a bumbling Bridget Jones. He blasted me for it and his comments really got to me. I've had a sleepless night thinking that someone thought I had no integrity and was rude. He was a copper BTW. Guess I have a lot to learn!

@Nahnahnah, I have had this happen to me a couple of times. The irony is that in order to see you online they also have to be online too ! It’s good that he’s shown his hand early on and he’s genuinely not worth any more mithering about.

@Nahnahnah hes being ridiculous and if already attempting to be this controlling id delete and block without further comment

@Nahnahnah

Agree with pps he’s controlling and unpleasant - block on all fronts no explanation needed. Bit scary he’s a copper too!

Like @TobyEsterhase says it’s etiquette for both parties to chat to and arrange to meet others until a mutual decision is made to go exclusive.

So you’ll be going for first few meets with a few people and so will your dates - most meets won’t work out or will fizzle out anyway!

(Although I guess it’s gracious to not be “too honest” and not saying “I’m considering dating someone else on Friday, have you got a restaurant recommendation?!”)

Aw thank you all. Just needed to check if I had a major faux pas in this brand new world. I'm a nightmare at it all. I've blocked him and deleted too. Thanks for reassuring me.

I'm waiting patiently for @BelladiMamma who had a Feeld date last night.....hopefully it was exactly what she needed😊

@Nahnahnah Why is he already checking up on you when all you've done is chat in there.
And as for him baring his soul to you, more fool him, we all know not to bare our soul until we know someone.
A police officer more than anyone should know that baring your soul is an indication of vulnerability.
I'd unmatch him.

@Nahnahnah

Dipping my toes in the murky world of online dating and not a clue what I am doing. Its been a long time since I've dated (20 years+) and I've had some lovely mutual likes and chats. It's only early days nd I've got some numbers with the offer of some coffee dates. This evening I got a huge telling off from a potential suitor, he said he could see my green light was on (meaning I was back on the site) i was being rude and that I should be considering his feelings and not be back on there after he bared his soul to me. I don't know what the online dating etiquette really is. Am I supposed to pause looking after we swap numbers or stick to one at a time? It's really baffled me as I was told to chat to as many as you can and then go on dates with them all.

@Nahnahnah Agree with others that his behaviour isn't appropriate.

FWIW a similar thing happened to me the first week I joined Bumble. I think because my profile was marked as "new on here" it marked me out as easy pickings.

Within 5 mins of messaging he told me he had a fridge full of beer and to come over. When I declined his generous offer, he got snippy and accused me of being cold and chatting with others I was more interested in. Turns out he was right 😁 so I deleted him.

Also waiting for Bella update!
I don't want to be nitpicky but this is a bit of a rubbish attitude @JustAnother0ldMan 3 hours is a big round trip, especially if you only get a peck on the cheek if the attraction isn't there or the other person wants to take things slow or whatever other reason then it isn't a necessity to have any physical contact at all. It's up to both parties on distance they're willing to travel and there shouldn't be any pressure to make it "worth their while". Apologies if I've misunderstood.