Husband and prostitutes from the AW site

[Feelingparanoid]

Found out that husband had sex with prostitutes from the website Adultwork over a period of about two years. He says he stopped this activity about three years ago. Very long marriage. Would you forgive him?

I'm not asking for advice about what I should do (as I've already separated from him). I'm asking because there are some relatives who think I could (or 'should'?) forgive him and stay with him because by their reasoning this is 'the only bad thing he has done'. I have a vague feeling of being gaslighted by them, but not sure.

@SleepingBunnies21

Religious people (and people in general ) only ever seem.to advocate that women accept infidelity, that women put their head down and take whatever they're given; no matter how disrespectful or hurtful or humiliating or inappropriate.... never men.

I'm a religious type and I don't think like that. I think there are some really solid reasons for divorce and those include domestic abuse and infidelity for both men and women. In fact as I've grown older I think that being desperately unhappy in a marriage can be a good enough reason too and that no one should be forced to stay together.

I suppose I may be an unusual religious type, but there are lots who think like me. My own daughter is divorced and I fully support her reasons for leaving. I just wish she hadn't married him in the first place, but you can't turn back time unfortunately.

I suppose I may be an unusual religious type, but there are lots who think like me. My own daughter is divorced and I fully support her reasons for leaving. I just wish she hadn't married him in the first place, but you can't turn back time unfortunately

I'm another one who thinks like you.
I'm a Catholic and I love my faith. I love the liturgy. The Gospels.
However, what I do not love and do not agree with are a lot of the Church's social rules - such as divorce and re-marriage being forbidden.
People are supposed to stay with someone forever no matter what that person does? They can cheat, abuse, hit, gamble, drink alcohol, use prostitutes etcetc, yet we are supposed to stay with them anyway or divorce and then stay single for ever or face never being able to take Communion again, effectively kicked out of the Church which is supposed to provide support in difficult times.
No, no and no.

OP, your husband has used prostitutes at least 55 times. He will never stop. Whatever his reasons, they are irrelevant. He chose to cheat and to put your health at risk and he thinks that a woman is a commodity you can buy. Makes me sick.
My ex used prostitutes - I forgave him a couple of times but then it kept happening. I just couldn't cope with the thought of him going down to the local brothel with his workmates and sitting around in the bar area eyeing up the prostitutes, then chatting with one or more of them before eventually heading up to their room, showering and then having whatever sex he chose that evening. Absolutely vile and disgusting.

No one should be telling you that you should forgive him and stay with him. He has NO intention of changing - and even in the church (going back to religion for a moment), going to confession as a Catholic does not mean you can then leave the confessional and merrily continue as before. Forgiveness can only truly be given when the person truly intends to change!

I've talked a bit about religion here following on from someone else's post. If you're not religious it's less relevant to you.. but ....

Leave him and don't look back!