Top tips on how to get over a work crush please

[ToooOldForThis]

Got into an almost sticky situation with a colleague. Both acknowledged it was not wise, talked about it and have decided to draw boundaries etc. Happy with how it has panned out, we're stuck working together for the foreseeable.

However- I really feel dumped! Just on a friendship / company level really...his marriage is good, mine is not. There was NEVER a thought of taking it further, I really don't like him in that way at all, but for a while it was like having a really lovely friend and now I don't have that company any more.
Now I know this is absolutely the way it should be, and I should never have become reliant on him,but I did and now I really miss him.

Please tell me your top tips on how to give myself a good bloody shake and just get over feeling so sad and dumped?

OP do you know what your long term goal is here. Do you plan on continuing your marriage? Maybe just preparing yourself psychologically will help you to move on from this situation, now is a good time to understand what you want in your marriage and communicate those needs with your husband, if things don’t change, then it is time to move on. One thing I have learnt, communication is vital, without that the marriage will slowly fall apart.

Good luck!

I think our marriage is probably too far gone to save now, but neither of us are keen to end it. It's such an awful thought. But probably inevitable

Nobody wants to be the executor of the marriage. But if it helps, it is much harder to take the decision to leave than dealing with the consequences of it.

Honestly, what most of us divorced people regret is not leaving but not leaving much earlier than we did. The longer you stay in a dead marriage the more difficult it is to extricate yourself not only from the marriage but from the more permanent emotional damage a bad relationship can cause.

If you want to stay, be very proactive in fixing your relationship. If you are not bothered to make things better, it is better to set your other half and yourself free as it will just get worse and worse as time goes by.

Just because he was nice to you it doesn't mean life with him would be like that.
If your marriage is dead you need to leave, i did, and spend some time on your own. Do you have children?

Yes, the children are the sticking point of course, aren't they always. It's not abusive, harmful, violent, we get along fine most of the time.
I really enjoy and need my job,even more so if we separate, so I need to get over this guy.
I have NO desire to take to take it further with work guy, there's actually a lot about him I don't like ! But I liked the attention and support.

The simple answer is time - I had a work crush years ago and even though we weren't close it started to feel like a horrible sort of obsession for me - thankfully nothing like that has happened since, it was horrible.

Over time it just faded and I tried to fill my thoughts with other things - thinking about it just feeds it.

The only practical tip I can think of is download some free hypnosis or meditation apps on your phone - if you need a mental time out from this or the stress of your marriage they can really help.