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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to I be clear without being controlling or a total cow?

146 replies

Pleaseaddcaffine · 09/09/2021 17:02

Boundaries one.
Dp cheated although still won't admit it, took woman away to a work weekend and lied about it until caught, and drugs. Kicked him out and doing relate counseling to see if way through. Living apart but trying to see if it will work, we have 1 ds who is 3 and he has 3 kids from previous marriage.
Im okay ish but emotional and struggling with single parenting a bit as I work full time and study part time. Dp will help me out if asked b ut generally has had ds 3 hours a week and that's it.
Th e pinch is evrytime I state what I want it unreasonable or not possible. He says he's trying his best which seems to involve wine/chocolate and wanting intimacy but not mcuh else.
How do I set clear boundires without coming across angry or controlling ?
What I want:

  1. Honesty and no contact at all with affair woman.
  2. Him to change jobs, massive issue in relationship as low earning hobby job and stress allegedly led to drugs etc. Previously been promised but now actively backtracking.
  3. Him to step up with kids. Real time with them and consistency.
  4. Interest in fmsily time/couple time beyond work and not working during this time eg always on phone.
  5. Clear drugs tests and random tests if asked. This is non negotiable and he's been complying plus clean.
He's agreed to evrything but then moves goal posts around, for example says I can't have kids as so busy but then is in the pub for a quick pint etc when I ask he says I'm controlling him. Booked to go on hols for a week with dad with no consultation and I said no as I can't cover childcare as I work and he didn't chevk, I'm controlling as it's only a week and it's unfair etc. He'd go spare if I swaned off for a week with no notice! It sounds a bit petty but it's chipping away at agreed boundires that he knew I had to try again. On a plus side and to be fair, drug tests are clear and his blocked the woman on social media and phone etc but obviously thats easy to unblock when I'm not around. Etc. The couseller implied he gaslights, eg asked for space and he rnag evry single day said he'd kill himself if I didn't speak to him etc and asked me read some things around this. Sorry for the rambling post but feeling conflicted
OP posts:
PearlyRising · 10/09/2021 07:53

So true @mstswift i spend hours looking at clips about resilience, boundaries, self compassion, acceptance, self-efficacy... i wouldnt have been able to do this if i were trying to keep some randy, lazy, drug taking dog on the porch.

CoasterCoaster · 10/09/2021 07:54

You're essentially trying to polish a turd OP, trying to make a decent person/partner/father out of a feckless piece of shit who was never anything like good enough for you. You can stop trying now, he's not going to change and although you might not believe it yet you will be better off without him so you can concentrate on you and DS. Can you imagine how free and light you would feel if you no longer had to worry about what he was doing, thinking, feeling? No more trying to work out how to make him step up and worrying about how he's going to let you down next, I honestly think it would be more of a relief than you realise!

ChaToilLeam · 10/09/2021 07:54

You can do a lot better without this useless dead weight of a man taking up your time and headspace.

Ibizan · 10/09/2021 07:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happinessischocolate · 10/09/2021 08:01

I've just started reading this thread below and I'm only about 6 posts in and 2 people have already said that splitting with their DP/DH was the best thing they did.

Life can be so much better without someone dragging you down

To ask what was the most prolific thing you have done to change your life for the better? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4344621-to-ask-what-was-the-most-prolific-thing-you-have-done-to-change-your-life-for-the-better

Pleaseaddcaffine · 10/09/2021 08:06

That's a lovely thread link. I've done some of the thibsg in the list!
I've done couch to 5 k recently but had to stop running after kicked dp out while we sort stuff for last 3 months as can't leave ds is evenings. Very frustrating as gone backwards a lot.
I've started cooking again and hosted a dinner for family which I enjoyed, I like to cook.
I've saved to get my kitchen completly remodeled jsut need time to book evrything and sort it. Cltoo many choices!
Need to cut down on the wine crutch too, that resonates as drinking too much lately

OP posts:
Pleaseaddcaffine · 10/09/2021 08:06

I do see how it could be liberating to have the free brain time and less worry

OP posts:
DogFoodPie · 10/09/2021 08:08

As a single parent you would only have to look after your own ds and he would possibly have him for EOW so you would find it easier if anything.

PearlyRising · 10/09/2021 08:15

My x never has our dc which was hard for me at times, everything i did required a favour or a paid babysitter so i didnt do much for years, but it was still easier over all.

PearlyRising · 10/09/2021 08:16

I felt less trapped, resentful, used.
I had a plan for the future.
Staying with losers because of some fear of being single is so disempowering for women

NoYOUbekind · 10/09/2021 08:28

I tell you what OP, let's do an experiment.

For the next week, write down every time you think about/worry about/get angry with/get frustrated around/are let down by/or are gaslit by your 'D'P.

I bet it's HOURS. He is living in your head, rent-free, for HOURS every single fucking week. Now imagine that you get this time back.

  1. you will feel so much better, that constant knot of anxiety in your stomach will go away.
  2. you will have so much more mental energy to cope with single parenting.
  3. you will feel free.

Imagine what that would feel like?

Pleaseaddcaffine · 18/09/2021 20:42

Checking as I'm livid. But it may be me being a knob...
Dp away again weekend at similar event where cheated 4 mths ago. We have an agreed contact by phone thing, as per counselling. All good.
Spoke to him and said will lunch time. He's vanished for over 8 hours.. 11.30 till 8pm. Not answering phone. Said was charging in van and sorry.
Now I get it, I do, but given the situation then normal thing would be 'my phones going flat I'll call you as soon as i can' text. He says sorry and dosnt get why im annoyed.
Hoemstly 6 mths ago it wouldn't have bothered me but considering what happened and how much trust he has to earn back, I'm frankly shocked.
Overreaction?

OP posts:
Skippingabeat · 18/09/2021 20:54

You're not a knob and you're not overreacting. But this will be the rest of your life. Will you accept that?

Pleaseaddcaffine · 18/09/2021 20:56

No. I just feel controlling n I hate it, I hate the paranoia and sinking feeling. Nothing pro any has happen but is bloody disrespectful.

OP posts:
Peace43 · 18/09/2021 20:57

Parenting gets easier as they get bigger. I’m a single parent and my DD is 10 now. She comes in from school and pops up the office for a chat, grabs herself a drink, pops on the TV, washes, picks her own clothes…. She’s like an entire human being. She’s funny and good company too.

Leave the shit bloke and you’ll enjoy being a parent as your DS grows. 3 is really tough age, it gets waaaaay better!

rwalker · 18/09/2021 21:19

Honestly this isn't going to work the top and bottom you have to be able to complelty put it in the past and not bring it you or have to police him .

Notmoresugar · 18/09/2021 21:19

Leopard's don't change their spots and he's still pissing all over you.
You will be so much happier in yourself and less stressed when you get rid of the asshole.

Pleaseaddcaffine · 18/09/2021 21:22

Rwalker.. Ye sbut were not there yet we in the developing that bit, which includes recognising and working through the hurt. Hence counseling. He free hasn't followed what we agreed is the point.
I know you have to forgive and not police. But trust is earned

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 18/09/2021 21:22

You aren't being a knob, but he definitely is. So that's 2 weeks now from when you first started l this thread and he's still at it. Taking the piss and defying you whenever he feels like it. He clearly doesn't give a shit. I would be inclined to give it up as hopeless and move on...

Pleaseaddcaffine · 18/09/2021 21:26

Thank you. The wierd thing is he is all I love you I'm sorry, your everything. Blury lines again.
But thank. Sorry bad headspace today, an extended family member committed suicide yesterday so I'm not exactly at my finisest today (prob why I'm so bothered)

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 18/09/2021 21:38

@Peace43

Parenting gets easier as they get bigger. I’m a single parent and my DD is 10 now. She comes in from school and pops up the office for a chat, grabs herself a drink, pops on the TV, washes, picks her own clothes…. She’s like an entire human being. She’s funny and good company too.

Leave the shit bloke and you’ll enjoy being a parent as your DS grows. 3 is really tough age, it gets waaaaay better!

Yes to this

Jesus
Please please have respect for you and your child

This man is truly AWFUL

BlackIsQueen · 18/09/2021 22:07

Oh op, am so sorry for your loss, you must be heartbroken.

Stop listening to what your partner says and concentrate on what he does and how he makes you feel. And then act on what you find, take care

billy1966 · 18/09/2021 23:01

He sounds like the utter and complete dregs.

What a shocking role model for your poor child.

Give your son the chance of a better future away from him.

You both deserve better.Flowers

CheekyHobson · 18/09/2021 23:02

The real issue here is not just that he's let you down, which all partners do from time to time (but given the scale of his past breaches of trust, he should be putting a LOT of effort into avoiding) but that he doesn't take full responsibility when he lets you down. Full responsibility has three parts.

  1. Acknowledging and apologising for the failure. "I did say I would call at lunchtime and I didn't do that. I'm sorry." Ideally this would be proactive (saying that right away when he rings, rather than waiting for you to bring it up) but sometimes we don't realise when we've really let someone down. In that case, you apologise as soon as the other person brings it up.
  1. Offering a clear explanation for the failure that shows how you tried to avoid or mitigate it. "My battery ran out and we were on a team-building exercise for the next eight hours away from where my phone was charging."
  1. Responding to the questions and feelings of the person you have let down without making them wrong. "No, unfortunately I didn't have a chance to duck back, we were away from the cars the whole time." "Yes, you're right, I could have borrowed someone else's phone to let you know. I didn't think of that, sorry." "I know it stresses you out when I don't answer my phone and given our history, that's fair. I will try really hard not to let it happen again."

But instead of apologising in a way that clearly accepts responsibility, your husband seems to have given vague answers that don't offer reassurance that calling you when he said he would was of genuine importance to him, and when you say you're let down and angry, he acts as though that doesn't really bother him. In other words, his actions show your feelings are not important to him, even if he tells you they are.

Paranoia is a fear that someone you should be able to trust is not trustworthy. Your husband repeatedly proves through his actions that he's not trustworthy, but then tells you you're the one with the problem. That's manipulation, and it makes you feel crazy, like you can't believe what's right in front of your eyes, like you can't be sure about what is right and fear.

I used to be with someone like this. It was a real wake-up call for me when I read (in an article about emotional abuse) "If you find yourself repeatedly explaining to someone how to treat you with basic human decency, it's a clear sign you are with someone who is not willing or capable of meeting your needs."

It actually doesn't really matter whether he's not willing to meet your needs or not capable of meeting your needs, because the result is the same for you. You've tried doing the thing that works with other people – telling him how you feel and asking for something different – yet this doesn't work with him. THAT'S NOT NORMAL, no matter whether he insists it is.

My guess is you were probably raised in a family or had a previous relationship where you weren't treated with much respect, so to some degree it feels familiar to you to have people who say they love you let you down repeatedly, don't really seem to care and make out that you're silly to expect better treatment.

But you're not silly. Deep down, you know this is shit. You also understand that you actually cannot MAKE someone willing or capable of treating you well, even if you ask nicely, and then ask not-so-nicely and finally lose your shit and cry, like if you dial up the intensity of your reaction, they'll realise that, oh, this is actually important to you, suddenly start to care about what's important to you, and change their ways.

But the reality is that if someone doesn't genuinely care about your feelings in the first place, repeating your feelings over and over to them again in different ways isn't going to change a thing.

That's why you feel uncomfortably controlling. You're hoping to 'control' your husband by finding some magical set of words that will make him give your feelings some priority, but you repeatedly learn that nothing you say makes a difference.

And why would it?! Every time he does something that hurts your feelings and you tell him he hurt your feelings, all he needs to do is tell you that your feelings are unreasonable and you accept it! You don't accept it happily – you continue to feel upset, but nothing happens for him expect you continue to have feelings that don't bother him in the first place. Ignoring your feelings does not result in any real-life loss for him, like no longer having reliable access to sex, company when he wants it, free childcare whenever he can't be bothered parenting etc.

So, to answer your initial question, a real boundary with consequences looks like this. "DH, being able to trust you to be good for your word AND respect my feelings is an absolute baseline for me to be continue an intimate relationship with you. In a relationship where there haven't been big breaches of trust, maybe small breaches are easily forgiven. But that's not the case for us. So it doesn't matter how small a thing is, if you say you're going to do something I expect you to make every effort to do it when you say you will, and if you genuinely can't do it, I expect you to apologise, offer a solid explanation not a vague one, AND respect my feelings if I feel let down and not tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way.

If that seems unfair or like too much work for you, that's okay. I'm not going to try to convince you to continue a relationship that feels like hard work for you. But if you do want a relationship with me, that's my baseline expectation. If you let me down again, don't take full responsibility and don't respect my feelings, I'll be walking away. Obviously we will still be co-parents so I'll expect you to do whatever share of co-parenting that we agree to in the divorce settlement, but we won't be partners in any way. It's entirely up to you."

Pleaseaddcaffine · 18/09/2021 23:12

Thanks, that's pretty mcuh it sumed up succiently.
I'm not a rose without. Thorn myself, I can be a right knob but generally I recognise when I am being one and apologise.but as a friend put it even if you were being abusive yourself (which I'm not) , his behaviour isn't okay.

OP posts:
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