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Original poster

Short Men Experiences

140 replies

TryingHarderToday · 20/08/2021 21:45

Just curious about your experiences with dating short men, or knowing short men and the issues they’ve had with dating.

I’ve been developing this thing with a guy during the pandemic, and we are meeting up soon. He’s around 5ft 6 and I’m almost 5ft 8. I wouldn’t have thought much about it tbh but he clearly has had issues all of his life so he made light of his height and that sort of stuck.

I’m not concerned in the least but I want to be emphatic so I’m curious as to how others have had experiences dating shorter guys in terms of other people’s comments or whatever.

OP posts:
Blue4YOU · 21/08/2021 18:45

I’ve dated guys taller and shorter than me and I’m only 5ft 3 (at a push).
I’ve never preferred tall men.
And in any situation that required (as if it would) strength - it’s me who wades in (I’ve broken up two bar fights on my own).
It really doesn’t matter!
But (shorter men were better in bed) one’s experience varies on soooo many grounds.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 21/08/2021 18:49

Women who won't date a man under a specific height (like a theme park ride) are as shallow as a man specifying that he doesn't want a woman bigger than a dress size 10 replying to his OLD bollocks.

If a man knows that much detail about women's clothes size as a judgement weapon, he can jog on.

Women lie about their weight/size/age. Men lie about their height/age. Tale as old as time.

Sexnotgender · 21/08/2021 18:54

I used to work with a LOVELY guy. Smart, funny, attractive, and short. I felt so bloody sorry for him. He was about 5ft 6/7 so not mega short. He really struggled to get a date as women couldn’t see passed his height.

Lovelybottom · 21/08/2021 19:27

I'm with @ChipButties. Short men are not a breed. Why are you asking about our experiences with them?

KeflavikAirport · 21/08/2021 19:39

My husband is very short. If he was average height I would be massively punching but because we met OLD loads of women filtered him out so I got lucky. He is an absolute diamond.

sunnyzweibrucken · 21/08/2021 20:05

For me it’s not about height but size. I’m 5’6.5” and built like a lumberjack unfortunately.

My ex was about my height but super slim and I always felt like a linebacker next to him.

However my good male friend is about an inch and a half shorter than me but built like a tank and I rarely notice the difference because he’s so solidly built it almost feels like what his width adds to his height 😂

Really tall men I come across always seem too lanky to me. My first BF was about an inch and a half taller than me and it was perfect. He was very athletic so even when I was a fat arse I never felt too big for him. So I actually prefer men that are under 5’10 but solid because it makes me feel more feminine 😂

cookiecreampie · 21/08/2021 20:41

I went on a few dates with a 5 foot 4 man. I'm 5'2 and in heels I felt like a giant next to him. He was just really small all over and honestly it was a turn off.

TheDogsMother · 23/08/2021 14:15

@Catullus5

I think it's more about smallness than shortness. I'm 5'6 which isn't particularly short, but I'm also 10 stone 5, about 25% less than the average man's weight where I live, and less than the average woman's weight too.

My smallness does get referred to all the time in a way that I don't see happening to other, bigger men of similar height to me. While I don't really mind, people do get complexes about things that to my mind are no worse. The comments are always friendly but I sometimes I do think that equivalent remarks about an overweight person would be regarded as completely unacceptable. Also I do feel conscious of lacking physical presence.

OP, my suggestion is to go with your initial instinct, ie, not to make an issue of it, because otherwise you might make it an issue for him when it presently isn't one.

This is actually a preference for me. DH has a build that actually matches his height so he looks in proportion to me.
timetochangeagainforever · 23/08/2021 17:55

I've never been with a 'short' man until now - I'm 50. My ex h is 5'11 ex p 6'1 and my son is 5'10.
I'm a tiny 5ft.
New fella is lovely, seemed a weird weird at first as I've always been self conscious about my height, wore heels, on tip ties to kiss etc so it's lovely to be able to wear converse and not strain my neck constantly! But then, I'm so short, he's still 6inches taller than me. We probably look (from the back) like a pair of kids walking down the street Confused
He's not met my 16yr old son yet which will probably be a bit strange as my son is quite a bit taller and growing.
Don't knock it till you've tried it!

ScottishZoe · 23/08/2021 21:04

@ISpyCobraKai @TryingHarderToday Yes, important to realise height doesn't indicate whether or not a man is properly equipped or not!

Sakurami · 23/08/2021 21:36

I don't understand people basing their relationship on someone's height. I'm average height and most men I have been with have been taller than me. The last guy I dated is the same height as me and the guy I'm with now is a foot taller than me. It doesn't make any difference- it's what's in their hearts and brains that makes a difference.

tintodeverano2 · 23/08/2021 21:42

@ChipButties

What the fuck is this shit?

Can you imagine if this was ‘tall women experiences’ or ‘overweight women experiences’

What a pile of sexist bullshit this is.

Haha this is so true!

For me, no man is short as they are usually all taller than me.

Out of all of my relationships the best one has been the one that's the same height as me. But that's because he's the nicest person, nothing to do with his height!!!

Timeforachangetoday12 · 23/08/2021 22:01

I’m tall (5.9) and past boyfriends are usually close to my height or over 6. I’ve been dumped once because one bloke couldn’t get past me being his height! I’m usually the tallest in my group of friends so long stopped wearing heels as I stood out to much at 6ft! All the blokes went for the shorter friends!!
I met my husband at work he is 5.5 and we become friends first until after around 6 months in he got the confidence to ask me out! As I knew him the height really didn’t make any difference!
Maybe I fancy a tall man but I fell in love with my husband and his height isn’t an issue!

Our 2 girls one is his height (and won’t get any taller) and the other I think will be taller like me.

dougledog · 23/08/2021 22:24

I suppose it's all relative but I don't think 5 foot 9 is that tall. I am 6 foot 2 in heels and don't like towering over partners.

Unless you've felt huge towering over someone you shouldn't say some tall women are shallow for just wanting tall partners.

dougledog · 23/08/2021 22:30

P.S I would be very interested to read a thread about tall women experiences from a men's points of view. I think most men don't care how tall a woman partner is.

However, I have had comments about my height while on a date with a slightly shorter man and it did make me feel uncomfortable and Amazonian.

AndTime · 23/08/2021 22:52

My BF is 5ft 4 and as a few PP have mentioned he is very muscular and into body building. All I see is those shoulders and traps!

He is very conscious of his height and would love to be taller as he says he feels like a kid playing dress up when he wears a suit.

I am 5ft 2 so he doesn't seem short to me.

I have noticed over the years that men over 6ft seem to be particularly attracted to me, like I am a petite little doll they can have on their arm.

Catullus5 · 24/08/2021 02:50

Out of all of my relationships the best one has been the one that's the same height as me. But that's because he's the nicest person, nothing to do with his height!!!

I'm sure everyone's appearance dictates their personality to some degree. Short man syndrome is definitely a thing.

And for other small men, perhaps they have a greater imperative to learn the value of being nice. Halo

EccentricaGalumbits · 24/08/2021 03:26

@ItsNotLoveActually

Could be the nicest man in the world but anyone my height or shorter would be like dating a child. That's what I think when I see other couples where the man is shorter. Can't help it, it's my natural preference/setting.
Look I 'm not going to deride you for your preferences but are you really thinking about what you're saying here?

Do you think all the taller men who you're dating see you as a child? Is that a good thing?

Roblox01 · 24/08/2021 07:17

@DillonPanthersTexas

Why would he feel insecure

An awful lot of women's OLD profiles make specific mention that men under a certain height should not apply. For many women a short man is not a desirable attribute so you can't blame some blokes for being a bit conscious of this.

This I think is pretty accurate. I don't make a thing of it but if it's not mentioned in profile I do mention my height as I want her to know before any date. I don't won't her turning up think ffs.
DukeOfEarlGrey · 24/08/2021 07:32

@SusannaM

I'm very tall, DH is a few inches shorter and more than a few inches shorter if I'm in my heels. I've never dated anyone taller than me, in fact all the tall guys I know took up with petite women - no idea if that is a thing? But it's never been an issue. I don't think we've ever even discussed it, I can't remember anyone else mentioning it either.
I’m very tall at 5’11” and have had the opposite, all long term relationships with men well over six foot. I think that shorter men don’t feel confident to approach me which is a shame because I’m not fussy about height at all. I’ve dated a few very attractive men who were a little shorter than me and it was no big deal. However, the shortest man I ever dated was probably about 4” shorter than me and just wouldn’t let it go. He obviously had a hang up about it and it was frustrating because I found him really attractive but he couldn’t seem to internalise it. This wasn’t internet dating either, he knew how tall I was when he asked me out! It’s the only time I’ve ever experienced it though and I certainly don’t give a damn what anyone outside the relationship thinks about my partner’s height (or anything else, for that matter).
gannett · 24/08/2021 08:00

@dougledog

P.S I would be very interested to read a thread about tall women experiences from a men's points of view. I think most men don't care how tall a woman partner is.

However, I have had comments about my height while on a date with a slightly shorter man and it did make me feel uncomfortable and Amazonian.

Isn't Amazonian a good thing though? When I see that adjective I associate it with gorgeous, strong, athletic women. Awe-inspiring ones.
ttcissoboring · 24/08/2021 08:21

I think on old there are many women who filter out anyone under 6’ , I think that’s fine as long as they are happy to accept guys filtering out anyone over a size 8, it cuts both ways I reckon.

Great point! I bet many women have an issue with the latter though - and it also highlights how shallow it sounds when you think about it!

Row1n · 24/08/2021 14:01

The problem is that often short man syndrome comes from the ridiculous societal expectation that the man should be the big strong one in a relationship and able to take care of their partners and that the female partners need to be taken care of.
My dh is about an inch taller than me but thankfully doesnt have any hang ups about his height. We fit together perfectly. His dad however is an arsehole and the typical 'short man syndrome', always has to try and demean anyone around him and when you see him next to a taller man he acts like a right prat trying to prove his worth. I cannot stand him! Thank goodness dh is nothing like him.

I feel sorry for any man that feels he has to prove his masculinity, especially as it normally makes them look desperate and foolish in my book.

AliBye · 24/08/2021 20:14

@Hopingforabagofbuttons

I think women get hung up on a guys height because they think that tall guys will make them feel feminine and ‘safe’. Personally it doesn’t bother me at all, I’m 5’9, I would have no problem seeing someone shorter than me, though I admit I wouldn’t necessarily look to date someone who was like 5’. I think on old there are many women who filter out anyone under 6’ , I think that’s fine as long as they are happy to accept guys filtering out anyone over a size 8, it cuts both ways I reckon.
Well you can filter out people using whatever criteria you want, including weight, tattoos, hair colour or height.

If looks and physical attributes weren't important photos wouldn't be included on dating websites.

I wouldn't want to date a man thinner and smaller than me I don't think.

altmember · 24/08/2021 22:41

I'm 5'7" and never considered myself as a short arse. Never thought anything of it, until I started using online dating. The number of women who openly state on their profiles that they won't date anyone shorter than X height (typically 6ft) came as a bit of a surprise. I guess there's many more that think the same and are just polite enough to not say it explicitly in their profile.

In two years of OLD, I had about 3 'coffee dates' and that was it. Maybe it was something to do with my height. Not excusing it, but it's no surprise that men exaggerate their height. Especially when women tell each other to take 3" off whatever height a man says he is. I've even seen women state that they wouldn't feel safe dating a man shorter than 6ft, because they want a man who will protect them!

Never been in a relationship with anyone taller than me (wouldn't bother me if they were), current partner is 3 or 4" shorter, don't think that was a factor in us getting together.