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Original poster

Short Men Experiences

140 replies

TryingHarderToday · 20/08/2021 21:45

Just curious about your experiences with dating short men, or knowing short men and the issues they’ve had with dating.

I’ve been developing this thing with a guy during the pandemic, and we are meeting up soon. He’s around 5ft 6 and I’m almost 5ft 8. I wouldn’t have thought much about it tbh but he clearly has had issues all of his life so he made light of his height and that sort of stuck.

I’m not concerned in the least but I want to be emphatic so I’m curious as to how others have had experiences dating shorter guys in terms of other people’s comments or whatever.

OP posts:

Violinist64 · 20/08/2021 23:08

I’m around 5’4” and my husband is about 5’5”. No problems.

Lockheart · 20/08/2021 23:09

What do you mean "short men experiences"?? They're normal people you know, not some kind of strange mutant species. They can be lovely and they can be bastards just like all men.

I'm 5'10" and I've only ever dated one guy who was taller than me. I've never found any problems with dating someone my height or shorter because of their height. I've had problems with idiots but it had nothing to do with their height.

JustAnother0ldMan · 20/08/2021 23:12

Out of interest, what sort of height difference do ladies normally look for, as I’m 6ft, and normally look for partners around 5ft 4 and taller, or I think it looks a bit odd !

Ladyshaver · 20/08/2021 23:19

I'm 5'6/7 and my husband is maybe 5'4 ish? Complete non issue. He's funny, kind, has similar values to me but ultimately we just go together. There are many things I would consider deal-breakers but height isn't one of them. No judgement to those for whom it's a bigger deal, just my experience.

Ladyshaver · 20/08/2021 23:21

On further reflection, maybe it makes a difference that it's never been an issue for him. I can't imagine him bringing it up as it's just not at the forefront of his mind and his lack of hang-ups is attractive.

Mermaidwaves · 20/08/2021 23:36

I'm 6ft and my exH was 5ft 9, he liked my height and I've found it's always been shorter men who are attracted to me. I reckon if I ever date again it will be with a shorter man.

Durbeyfield · 20/08/2021 23:37

I had a short ex. I’d like to say it wasn’t an issue but in all honesty, his height was a bit of an issue. He was a confident bloke but he admitted himself that he would have paid any money to be a few inches taller. Other men were surprisingly unkind about his height - all in the guise of banter, obviously 🙄 - and other women did used to mention it to me so my attention was always sort of drawn to it. And he was pretty aggressive at times, like the stereotypical ‘small man’. It’s almost like he lived up to that stereotype. Ultimately I am far happier to be with my 5’11” DH now for lots of less shallow reasons but I will admit I do much prefer his height too.

MrsCatE · 21/08/2021 00:53

Ex husband was 5ft 5ish - and was an arse hole however, don’t this height issue was related to his basic fuckwittery.
I’m only 5.1 current (heh heh) husband is 6ft. I lurvve the manliness. Ex husband was also a coward - who shat himself when I was assaulted. Current one has punched out loads of blokes to get me out of a crowd crush situation (think mass surge) and chased after (and caught) car that clipped me going the wrong direction down a narrow one way street. He’s not a thug - but makes me feel fuzzy that he’s always going to look out for me.

tallgiant · 21/08/2021 01:02

I'm 6 foot and don't fancy shorter men. It's just what you feel comfortable with OP. Everyone likes different things when it comes to dating.

SarahDarah · 21/08/2021 01:18

@BrilliantBetty

Well it was over 15 years ago now but I dated a short guy for a few months, about 5ft 7 possibly under.

He was obsessed with the gym and getting mussels, taking protein powder and all of that. Was covered in tattoos and had a few piercings including his tongue. I got the feeling he wanted to make sure he looked very masculine at all times and a bit unusual so that his hight wasn't the main thing people saw?! He was quite insecure that my head would be turned. We ended because he has mood swings which I put down to the stuff he was taking (powders and pills) for the gym. I liked him but not enough to work through these issues.

The next man I dated was 6ft 6 but that was purely coincidental.

I've noticed that a lot of short men tend to bulk up and focus on gaining muscles to try compensate for their height

Unfashionable · 21/08/2021 01:21

I’m 1.82m which is just under 6ft, so I’m taller than the majority of men. Significantly so, in many cases. When you’re my height, you gain a fair amount of experience of dating shorter men.

When I was dating, I was fine with guys who were self-confident enough to not have a problem dating someone taller than them. Insecure dickheads who did have a problem with the height difference didn’t last long.

Asherline · 21/08/2021 01:35

It's definitely an issue. Maybe not for women but is for men. Like being overweight or have tiny boobs is for a woman, men say it's not a problem but we don't believe them. Women like confident men and height is a big part of a mans condidence. Sad but true.

StarlightLady · 21/08/2021 04:45

Unlike a lot of things in life, he can’t change how tall he is. It wouldn’t bother me at all; it’s all the same on the vertical.

Danceswithwhippets · 21/08/2021 06:37

@Lockheart

What do you mean "short men experiences"?? They're normal people you know, not some kind of strange mutant species. They can be lovely and they can be bastards just like all men.

@Lockheart has it right about height having no positive correlation with idiocy. I don't think there is a "short man syndrome", people can be shits/ delightful without reference to their height.

But on OLD sites, womens' preferences are very clearly for men 5' 10" and taller, whatever their own stated height. I'm a 5' 10" man, and don't consider myself particularly tall, but if that's above average then short women insisting on tall men must be losing out on a lot of good material -once you get very specific the pond gets much smaller.

It seems to be connected to women somehow feeling less feminine if they're shorter than the man.

I met a woman OLD this year who was 5" 10" who spent a lot of time before we met having me verify my actual height. She happened to have said on her profile that she had red hair (which I happen to like) but I would not have asked her to verify that before we met!

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 21/08/2021 06:54

I think women get hung up on a guys height because they think that tall guys will make them feel feminine and ‘safe’. Personally it doesn’t bother me at all, I’m 5’9, I would have no problem seeing someone shorter than me, though I admit I wouldn’t necessarily look to date someone who was like 5’.
I think on old there are many women who filter out anyone under 6’ , I think that’s fine as long as they are happy to accept guys filtering out anyone over a size 8, it cuts both ways I reckon.

Lasttraintolondon · 21/08/2021 06:56

I always find this one bonkers. Imagine changing 'short man syndrome' to any other physical characteristic someone can't change. Totally unacceptable nowadays.

Moreover people are good/bad/nice regardless of how they look. This isn't some 1980s movie where all the villains have scars and the heros are attractive.

RantyAunty · 21/08/2021 07:02

My first husband was short maybe 5.5? It was perfectly fine.
His entire family were short Italians.

ShaunaTheSheep · 21/08/2021 07:14

Some of you sound incredibly shallow. Luckily there are plenty of people that aren't and don't judge people by characteristics they have no control over.

Mybestgirl · 21/08/2021 07:47

It’s not shallow…it’s preference.

habibihabibi · 21/08/2021 07:50

I couldn't cope if it was a big height difference.
I'm very tall so would feel like Snow White with a dwarf.

ShaunaTheSheep · 21/08/2021 07:59

@Mybestgirl

It’s not shallow…it’s preference.

So you discount getting to know perfectly nice people because of their height? Your loss.

Seagullsstopit · 21/08/2021 08:10

My ex wouldn't let me wear heels because I was a whole inch taller than him. (He was a self proclaimed "alpha" anyway so you can Imagine how much of a dick he was)
My current boyfriend is tall, masculine and has never tried to control how I dress.

pictish · 21/08/2021 08:11

@Lockheart

What do you mean "short men experiences"?? They're normal people you know, not some kind of strange mutant species. They can be lovely and they can be bastards just like all men.

This. Short men experiences? What? How do they differentiate from other men? What ‘experience’ might you be imagining?

Lockheart · 21/08/2021 08:13

@Mybestgirl

It’s not shallow…it’s preference.

You can have whatever preferences you like, it doesn't mean they're not shallow. It being a personal preference doesn't exclude it from being shallow.

Marylou62 · 21/08/2021 08:14

I'm 6ft and my DH of 31 years is 5ft 3..It's funny to some people for 5 mins..
He tells everyone it's a marriage of convenience:
He wanted tall sons and I wanted short daughters!
Worked out just right!

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