Short Men Experiences

[TryingHarderToday]

Just curious about your experiences with dating short men, or knowing short men and the issues they’ve had with dating.

I’ve been developing this thing with a guy during the pandemic, and we are meeting up soon. He’s around 5ft 6 and I’m almost 5ft 8. I wouldn’t have thought much about it tbh but he clearly has had issues all of his life so he made light of his height and that sort of stuck.

I’m not concerned in the least but I want to be emphatic so I’m curious as to how others have had experiences dating shorter guys in terms of other people’s comments or whatever.

I feel so lucky after reading some of these comments that I have never felt that I needed a man to protect me or make me feel feminine.

@Mallowmazing

It’s nice to see the mature responses here.

I’m dating a 5’6 man. I’m the same height. It does make me feel fat and unfeminine sometimes...

I’d like to start wearing heels on our dates but I’m not sure how he’d feel about it. Can anyone advise?

Do guys get put off by taller girls? Would it make him insecure?

Why would he feel insecure? Personally, I don't mind, she just says what do you think of this (Outfit)! She'll wear up to 4-inch heels.

Although I do know some men are proactive in their opinions when asked and even when not asked.

I'm 5ft 10 my girlfriend is 5ft 9. I'd never thought about my height in real terms or relationships to be honest. However all of her exes were 6ft and well over, her son is 6ft 5.
It is what it is at the end of the day. I've met assholes of all shapes and sizes.
Taller men can somehow command a bit more respect when they walk in a room, I don't know why just physicality I guess. Also short bulldog type men generally see them as a threat and want to take them down a peg or two.
You hear short man syndrome brandished about a lot but the same is not generally attached to women.

This thread has gone better than most height ones so far

I’m a 5’6” bloke and I like to think I have no issues with it. I’ve had “jokey” comments about it a lot, from men and women. Called shortarse, diddy, tiny. When dating I was called not masculine enough, not a real man. Water off a ducks back tbh but that probably as I’ve grown up with a low level of constant teasing. I’m 48 now and it still happens.

I have a preference for short, slim women. I’d never express that as “I don’t like fatarses, or giant women”…

No one ever talks about the flipside of short man syndrome which is big man syndrome. The six foot plus men who use their size to swagger and intimidate their way through life. Anyone who's had the misfortune to be in a pub with a bunch of rugby lads will know what I mean. Happens weirdly often just walking down the pavement too, when a massive guy walks towards you who clearly has no intention of even trying to alter his path so you can both pass comfortably.

I think they're both what happens when men try way too hard to prove their masculinity.

The poster saying taller men command more respect is spot on. You see it in professional environments a lot and as a shorter senior person I have to use techniques to portray that same seniority, gravitas, impact.

My DP is several inches smaller than me 5'6" I think and I am very tall. No problem at all.

I've dated several guys shorter then myself.

@BillMasen

The poster saying taller men command more respect is spot on. You see it in professional environments a lot and as a shorter senior person I have to use techniques to portray that same seniority, gravitas, impact.

You do see it a lot but it's useful to see who "falls for it", in a sense. Which people, consciously or subconsciously, prize meaningless traditional masculine aesthetics over professional quality (or equate the two in their minds).

It's an extension of men commanding more respect than women in some professional environments and white people more than people of colour.

As a mixed-race woman it is really useful to observe who automatically gives that respect and who doesn't.

@gannett spot on. I’m a short white man not a short black woman so have lots of privilege to use :)

I had a coach once who used to coach senior women and help them with achieving that impact. I nicked a few of those techniques as it’s a bit similar.

Interestingly the company I work for now has a female heavy workforce right up to the top and I’ve found it less prevalent here than other places.

@JustAnother0ldMan

Out of interest, what sort of height difference do ladies normally look for, as I’m 6ft, and normally look for partners around 5ft 4 and taller, or I think it looks a bit odd !

I've never looked for any particular height difference. A man's height isn't important to me at all.

I'm 5'9", DH is 5'6".

Height is irrelevant when you like them. You get over the socialisation where you're taught that men should be taller than their female partner.

@TryingHarderToday

I am 5 foot 3.5 inches tall. My husband is 5'6". He has very broad shoulders. Like a rugby prop forward !

@gannett

No one ever talks about the flipside of short man syndrome which is big man syndrome. The six foot plus men who use their size to swagger and intimidate their way through life. Anyone who's had the misfortune to be in a pub with a bunch of rugby lads will know what I mean. Happens weirdly often just walking down the pavement too, when a massive guy walks towards you who clearly has no intention of even trying to alter his path so you can both pass comfortably.

I think they're both what happens when men try way too hard to prove their masculinity.

Exactly this, definitely come across big man syndrome a few times! Confidence and over Confidence comes with size. However there is a way to physically & psychologically disperse this. I knew someone that worked in customs and security and they were taught to look in the nostrils of big bully men. After a few seconds they'll be rubbing their nose breaking their demeanour. Tried it and it definitely works along "Uhh you got something on your shoe mate"

@gannett

No one ever talks about the flipside of short man syndrome which is big man syndrome. The six foot plus men who use their size to swagger and intimidate their way through life. Anyone who's had the misfortune to be in a pub with a bunch of rugby lads will know what I mean. Happens weirdly often just walking down the pavement too, when a massive guy walks towards you who clearly has no intention of even trying to alter his path so you can both pass comfortably.

I think they're both what happens when men try way too hard to prove their masculinity.

The height aspect is only superficial, so persons projected confidence and aurora-manner make a big difference. Men do subconsciously and consciously do this to one another, it's also environmental, so a male office worker will be intimidated by a brusk construction worker for instance. Just like rugby lads in a group will behave differently when they're alone. Add cocaine and alcohol into the mix=obnoxious bell end.

People do compare one another, some men have a warped view of masculinity and their place in the world.

All my partners have been near my height, taller when wearing heels.

Who cares!!!!

@ItsNotLoveActually

Could be the nicest man in the world but anyone my height or shorter would be like dating a child. That's what I think when I see other couples where the man is shorter. Can't help it, it's my natural preference/setting.

By "preference/setting" you mean prejudice.

Date who you want but own your prejudiced (and nonsense) assumptions.

I'm guessing PPs talking about the confidence of taller men, are referring to what you might call an acceptable height range? Cos I can promise you that the 6'9 bestie is the meekest, most diffident, anxious lad on the planet because every bugger and his dog feels empowered to pass comment on it.
"What's the weather like up there?" being routine....never heard that before.

I'm nearly 5ft 9 and my partner is 5ft 6. Never been an issue.

I think it's more about smallness than shortness. I'm 5'6 which isn't particularly short, but I'm also 10 stone 5, about 25% less than the average man's weight where I live, and less than the average woman's weight too.

My smallness does get referred to all the time in a way that I don't see happening to other, bigger men of similar height to me. While I don't really mind, people do get complexes about things that to my mind are no worse. The comments are always friendly but I sometimes I do think that equivalent remarks about an overweight person would be regarded as completely unacceptable. Also I do feel conscious of lacking physical presence.

OP, my suggestion is to go with your initial instinct, ie, not to make an issue of it, because otherwise you might make it an issue for him when it presently isn't one.

Short men have always been absolute Kings to me.

@Catullus5

I think it's more about smallness than shortness. I'm 5'6 which isn't particularly short, but I'm also 10 stone 5, about 25% less than the average man's weight where I live, and less than the average woman's weight too.

My smallness does get referred to all the time in a way that I don't see happening to other, bigger men of similar height to me. While I don't really mind, people do get complexes about things that to my mind are no worse. The comments are always friendly but I sometimes I do think that equivalent remarks about an overweight person would be regarded as completely unacceptable. Also I do feel conscious of lacking physical presence.

OP, my suggestion is to go with your initial instinct, ie, not to make an issue of it, because otherwise you might make it an issue for him when it presently isn't one.

Mate I’m similar. 5’6” and similar weight and I think you’re right. Short bulky blokes seem to get it less.

I’ve had the “it’d be like dating a child”

Lovely

The whole ‘I knew a short man and he was a dick’ - the ‘short man syndrome’ thing is just a lazy stereotype. Plenty of tall men are dicks as well. There are loads of really great men out there, regardless of height, and a 5’4” man is no more likely to be a dick than a 6’ one.

Always used to go taller but im 5ft7/8 and DP is 5ft6 - it was never an issue, find him v sexy. He can laugh about it though which maybe helps?

I'm 6ft if I wear my boots (2" heels). I'm afraid that I always wear those boots on first dates so I can judge the height of my date. I've towered over so many bfs and ex husbands (!) and I hate it. It makes me feel clumsy, huge and awkward.

If he says he is 5 foot 6 he is probably shorter.
Men usually add a couple of inches.
How can you have developed a relationship with someone you haven’t even met though?

Why would he feel insecure

An awful lot of women's OLD profiles make specific mention that men under a certain height should not apply. For many women a short man is not a desirable attribute so you can't blame some blokes for being a bit conscious of this.