Leaving dh - anyone want to join for support?

[MoanaMammoth]

Having couples counselling which has been really good however it has made me realise this can never work. Dh is a good man but we are on completely different pages about how we live and what we want from life and marriage and are making each other miserable. We have 2 children age 2 and 5. I feel sick at the thought of putting us all through this but I think it’s the only way forward. We have an individual session each with the counsellor in a couple of weeks so not going to do anything before this as I want to use this to help work through all my fears and mentally prepare. Would anyone who is in a similar boat like to join for support? Maybe you are thinking of leaving or have recently left? x

I'm so sorry. That's why I'm doing counselling but I know he will do it again and that's sad but have almost zero energy to even try.
Im sorry about this. Could you keep the house and school and he move out?

It costs a lot to stay too @ToANewBeginning. Dealing with cheating and lies and the gaslighting and lack of trust that goes along with it, takes a lot out of strength too. There aren't any easy options when you're partner cheats. Staying in the moment feels easier, but in the long run it's not going to be an easy option.

@ToANewBeginning I was just thinking maybe focus on yourself for a bit, give yourself some space to work out what you want. Take some time out if you can, visit friends or family or get away if that's something you can do where you are, talk to a supportive or get some counseling if you can afford

it. Focus on how you are and what you feel, give yourself permission not to decide right now. You can leave in 6 months or 2 years, whenever you're ready or not at all. Take the focus off him as much as possible and do what you need to look after your mental health.

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons thank you. Reading this thread has helped me realise I don’t have to make any immediate decisions. It’s not a choice between confronting now and never confronting - I can do everything in my own time. I feel quite empowered by this.

@Pleaseaddcaffine thank you. I couldn’t afford our current house unfortunately. It’s all just so hard to work through and work out isn’t it.

I can afford everything on my own, perks of a good job and stbx having a hobby job. However I'm permently exhusted as I work full time, study part time and have zero time to do evrythi ing. My garden looks hideous as no time to cut grass in normal neighbour friendly hours .. Silly example but I hate it.
Im tierd, old, fat and generally had enough. Fmsily member committed suicide this week and my dad may have cancer, utterly rubbish.
And it's only been 4 mths since I threw him out.

Also to say lunaandhermoondragons is correct, I could forgive/learn to trust him again after a month or so but now I think I can't. It's sad but its dawning on me that I don't really forgive, the sinking sick feeling in my stomach and anxiety. I dont wnat to liev that way.
Don't make a rash decision, you can do what you wnat when your ready to.

Hey,

I'm in the gang and I am so close to leaving. I have a house which fingers crossed will be finalised this Saturday and I'm aiming to go in January. I've not told my husband yet and I'm terrified to do so but you are not alone