"Yes he has qualifications in plumbing! I think that once he is ready, I'll talk to him about looking for an apprenticeship".
Yes, apprenticeships are so very easy to come by, especially plumbing ones. Thank god that's all sorted.
Op, what is most sad about this thread is that you clearly do not see what we all see and , that suggests, you have no real love, insight or respect for yourself. You are accepting of all this, normalising and trying to justify it. You seem to think that this is good enough for you or all that you can reasonably expect? Why?
I am 50 and , like a lot of other posters , we have seen this scenario before. We know how the story develops for some. Thats why some posters are saying next stage baby... because often what that really means is ...couple in dead end relationship with no self prospects... next stage... no own independent income therefore, no means to support self and now new baby in the mess mix..... next stage poor and unstable housing....next stage low /no income...next stage total benefits and state dependancy.... next stage poor outcomes for those children. It is a kind of script Op. I do not for the life of me understand why your parents are even enabling this relationship which, has absolutely no redeeming features at all and effectively, subsidising it. Would i permit this in my home, absolutely not.
There are clearly issues here within yr own family that you have not divulged that , you have not said here. I suspect you may have had some mental health issues yourself and, i wonder if yr parents are doing their best,keeping their daughter close , in order to protect her from herself
and therefore reluctantly accepting of this poor arrangement.
Op, with kindness and respect and in all gentleness to you, if you continue in this relationship and also solely with your current view of your life and, waiting until Sept etc, Sept will be never . You just simply cannot see your own worth.
You are carrying on and delaying. Will you see more clearly your worth in 4 weeks? What will have changed? Will yr boyfriend be earning £5k a month as a plumber and buying all your expensive stuff? Is that what he has told you? "Hang on babe... i will be earning gas amounts soon". You just sit there doing FA and i will Louis V you right up when i'm sober plumbing! " . Is that what both yr business plan is? Is he to pay for you/ support you/ keep you in the manner to which you have become accustomed?
He is dragging you down, you are dragging yourself down, you are also dragging him down, you are both offering nothing to the other , apart from a life of benefits , booze and sofa surfing. Neither of you , quite frankly, bring anything to enhance the life of the other. This is no way to live.
Have a life Op, get a job, extend learning while working , earn a good income, have yr own home, buy yr own expensive things, make friends, travel, look after your body and do not abuse it. Take time before being giving your body to someone. Give yourself better and increase your expectations for yourself. Demand more for yourself, achieve more for yourself .
You are 20 , you have no money, surviving on benefits and the generosity of others for your housing. Why do you think this is currently good enough for you? I appreciate your BF has abuse issues in his past. I am sorry that has been part of his life and i sincerely hope he reaches out for and receives the necessary support now , to rebuild and move forward with his life . He has a long , life times journey ahead of him that will provide challenges along the way and i wish him every support.
Op, you have posted here and we are responding to you and you alone. You are currently accepting of a life that is far below par of that of yr peers. My DS is exactly the same age as you, he is in an apprenticeship that he started after A levels, he is earning while learning. He now already , 2 yrs in, has a house share ( renting for now) with his friend, his own car on finance, expensive trainers that he buys himself and designer clothes. He finishes his apprenticeship next July and will have a full time job there , in programming , for a major IT in London, already now contractually offered to him.
He did not get his apprenticeship easily, my son threw everything at interview and worked damned hard volunteering programming while at secondary 6th form. He also helped out at library during his spare time , helping others/elders in the community acquire IT skills, before Covid.
We will be helping him with a hse deposit now ( as will his fellow hse mates parents ) and he and his hse mate will be buying a bachelor pad next yr , just to get on the housing ladder.
You are both the same age and there is a huge difference in the application you are both giving to life.
Is my son at aged 20, almost 21, sat here, scrounging off me night after night , with his equally unemployed girlfriend , pissing their benefits up the wall, getting drunk going nowhere? No, he is out working, training, housing himself, carving a career , in order to support himself and his future family . His GF is about to enter the police force training, with a view to joining the Met, having just completed her degree. Would i want my son mixed up or in a relationship with you right now, in all honesty no .
You are 20 and so much better than this .