How many here are single, open to meeting someone but not doing OLD?

[TossaCoinToYerWitcher]

Just wondered. As a single bloke, it often seems that if you're not doing OLD you're missing out on meeting the right person, as that'll be where any single person looking for a relationship will be. But maybe that's not the case?

@Roblox01

So question for you ladies. Is the pool of desirable men small with OLD. Could you put a percentage on it.

I understand that most will gravitate to the group they find attractive but is it the case that say 1 or 2 in ten take your interest and the other 8 or 9 don't?

I'll join this thread and answer this - when I've done old it's been more like 1 or 2 in every 25-30 profiles...

I really don't like old, I find it artificial and inauthentic, but I don't where else people find people. I'm early 40s, not bad looking I'm told, good job, home, intelligent etc. But I very rarely get matches and even less rarely responses! I really do think it's unlikely to happen for me now. With or without old...

I've actually been tempted by this thread to look again lol then I punched myself in the head .. phew @66babe and I can definitely relate to this!

I think that's part of the issue @Foambananas

If you are happy , financially secure , busy and mostly live a content life ... why would you take any risk of ending up with some nutter ( male or female )
I don't need a relationship at all , I would just like one
Maybe if I needed children or support to purchase a home or achieve my goals in life then I'd be more open to giving someone a chance .. but I don't need any of those things , done them already

It's an absolute minefield OLD which can be fabulous with like minded people or a bunch of lying tosspots 🤣

@Roblox01 It's hard to say objectively?

I agree with pps in that guys who fit some "criteria" (say tall, ok face, good job) can really don't feel they have to do any work at all to meet women? So even humble guys can get very arrogant/entitled.

If they connect , they then just sit back and see who is attractive (out of a LOT of attractive women) and also "easiest" in terms of doing all the chasing/planning.

Like I've been put into the first pool sometimes, then it's quite clear the guys expect me to be ringing them up asking when suits them to come over for dinner and sex or sending saucy photos on demand to "get their attention"?

And as I don't do this they move onto someone else (I like sex, just feels a bit weird having to "use it to get someone to like me").

I'm not sure what's in it for the women who chase? I guess it means they get the "social status" or "win the competition" of saying they have the boyfriend who looks like X and has Y job.

But I do think also the apps format (like a pp wisely said) fosters this toxic mentality where you sort of "rank" people and have some you are excited about and some you aren't based on a screen profile. It gets done to me, and I do it to others....not healthy!

"Maybe if I needed children or support to purchase a home or achieve my goals in life then I'd be more open to giving someone a chance"

That's so true - same position here so if a guy comes out with "win me over and you can get those things" I'm like .

I do miss things like couple sex and "touch" I guess - I've actually booked a massage next week.

I'm not anti-men! I've had some lovely dates and a good relationship would be awesome. But it's just the whole "cost-benefit" analysis that seems to not make sense sometimes.

Oh yes ... " stick with me you can have whatever you want "
Mmmm yh right whatever

Superlike sorry

Oh go on Bananas ! You know you want to ! If you find a decent one see if he has a brother for me 🤣

Interesting thread.

I've been single for twelve years and have only ventured into OLD once over a decade ago when I came across my XH (it's a very small pool in my rural location) which rather put me off!

I agree that I don't need a relationship as I'm very happy on my own but, very occasionally, it would be nice. I don't come across single men as a matter of course, I'm sort of of the view that I've it happens, it happens...

Can I just ask any men on this thread why they swipe right/like/whatever a woman and then don't reply when she messages? This keeps happening to me. I get matches but then getting as far as a simple chat is like getting blood out of a stone. Do you just "like" everyone and then filter your matches for the ones you actually fancy? Whatever the case, it's incredibly annoying and rude! I'm not talking about apps where you can message anyone, btw, these are the ones where there have to be mutual likes. I always message first, is that where I'm going wrong?

Back at you ... what would you say the swipe rate is for men looking for women online?

I’d say about 3 or 4 in 10, I tend to avoid the bunny ears and other kinda filters, as I’m 6ft I mostly meet hight criteria okay but me being the wrong side of 50 seems to be an issue for some.

I looked at one profile of a woman and it said “No Crossdressers”, in capitals,, I thought to myself, that’s a shame, I’m tall and slim, maybe I would look good in a dress, but what would happen if we both turned up in the outfit 😂😂,

@ChloeAndRadcliffe

Can I just ask any men on this thread why they swipe right/like/whatever a woman and then don't reply when she messages? This keeps happening to me. I get matches but then getting as far as a simple chat is like getting blood out of a stone. Do you just "like" everyone and then filter your matches for the ones you actually fancy? Whatever the case, it's incredibly annoying and rude! I'm not talking about apps where you can message anyone, btw, these are the ones where there have to be mutual likes. I always message first, is that where I'm going wrong?

I wouldn’t take it personally , this goes both ways, I’ve had women ignore me,too, but maybe some men a bit scared off if they are messaged 1st, But keep doing it, personally I was flattered if this happened

I mean, some of these were on Bumble, where the woman has to message first... if they find that intimidating in some way, they're on the wrong app.

@ChloeAndRadcliffe

I agree that most chats fizzle out early or (more recently) the guys who continue chatting just end up being pushy/weird/sleazy?

That’s just app atmosphere now - sure there’s a few gems to be found but doesn’t seem emotionally healthy “as an overall system”.

@ChloeAndRadcliffe
Can’t really answer you as not used Bumble (maybe I should? ), but I assume someone would like a bunch of people, wait for the responses then choose who to message back 🤷‍♂️ (Sorry, but That’s probably what I would do as well)

I genuinely think most men just want sex.

I get dozens of swipe likes but zero messages. Like a swipe as many as possibly and hopefully one will bite attitude.

I genuinely don't know why I bother

I think some men wouldn't mind more than just sex, but they can't really be arsed to put the effort in, and just sex is easier.

@grandmashotdoodlebugs

Of course physical connection is part of intimacy unless you’re asexual and it’s important for many women too

but the whole “general app ethos” of acting like “unless sex is discussed in writing/offered soon like I’m ordering off a JustEat menu you are clearly a prude and I have no interest in you as a human being” is just vile.