How many here are single, open to meeting someone but not doing OLD?

[TossaCoinToYerWitcher]

Just wondered. As a single bloke, it often seems that if you're not doing OLD you're missing out on meeting the right person, as that'll be where any single person looking for a relationship will be. But maybe that's not the case?

@Getbehindme I'm tee total , never tried alcohol in my life ( alcoholic parents ), recently turned 55 so don't think I'm going to start now

It's been a huge issue in my life in regards to dating
I've had men assume I am either an ex alcoholic , or I must hate anyone who drinks .. even worse someone who tried to trick me into a sneaky vodka .. I poured it over his head and walked out ...

I never ever mention it .. not that I've dated for a while .. but it's certainly been an issue for me

Stbxh has had three mini relationships since we've separated (all from OLD) although were still living together 🤨. I do think women are from Venus and men are from Mars as I couldn't even contemplate this.
What a dick

@66babe it's mad isn't it? Imagine being so hung up on alcohol that you'd try and trick someone into drinking it.

Even my friends sometimes overlook me for things as they assume I won't enjoy it as everyone's drinking. Woman in sober night out fun shocker!

Thanks for your insight though, it's good to know, although disappointing, that it's a possible hurdle/tricky area to navigate on top of everything else.

I did have the guts to give that guy I mentioned my number and ask him for a coffee, so I know I have the confidence without booze for that part at least.

Good for you @Getbehindme
You really don't need it , you've got this !
If it's a coffee and nothing else then no harm done 🎉

It definitely helps that I have fewer f**ks to give!

My question regarding this thread is, I no longer drink alcohol (at all) and all my previous relationships started in a boozy place.

My experience (which is over a decade ago) is that if you state you don't drink, a lot of people just ignore you, assume you hate anyone who drinks - I don't; I don't want anyone who thinks it's fun to get totally wasted on a regular basis, but I do go out to the pub with other person drink. And you probably get a higher proportion of people who are teetotal for religious reasons, which isn't necessarily an issue, but it is if your religion is your starting point in conversation.

In practical terms, the few dates I have been on in the past, I drove to, because it meant I had a means of leaving at any point, and I was living in a village at the time, so late night public transport was not often available. So I couldn't have drunk anyway. So in some ways, I'm not sure if it's worth mentioning that I never drink.

If I met someone in RL great but I'm certainly not bothered enough to put the time into OLD

me, mostly because most of the guys around here that i've seen on there when i've looked are NOT my type.. i'm somewhat of an unusual/eclectic kind of person, and really feel like my taste in fashion/music/religion/hobbies are outside the norm.. i need to meet people first xD

It would personally bother me if someone didn't drink, not because I have a bad opinion of t total people, but just because it's a pleasure I'd like to share with someone.

I'm mid 40's. I'm slim blond and pretty and brainy.
This is sadly so true. Lots of men do not like intelligent women,

Depends what kind of a person the male is I guess. A lot of men probably would find it a threat. Tbh I couldn’t possibly be attracted to somebody who doesn’t have much going in upstairs, I’d find them as dull as dishwater! Im attracted to interesting people.

"Im attracted to interesting people."

There are interesting stupid people and boring intelligent people.

@PolkadotClouds and @HmmmmmmInteresting I think it was because I initiated the separation and he somehow had to prove he could move on 🤷‍♀️. Anyway, he said it was all too much hassle and stopped 🤣

Re alcohol, I have 2 friends who never drink and we all stay in/go out and have the best laughs ever. Probably a good filter against dickheads tbh

I just can't face it.

But a good friend of mine has met some nice guys, a couple that she's stayed friends with, and is now in a long term relationship with someone she met via OLD so it can work!

Ok, I've gone back on OLD. Talking to someone and it is just drawn out and stupid crappy questions that I've answered many times. How the hell do I know what I'm looking for! And I'm try8ng to figure out if he is actually single.

I'll take real life meeting up any day. I think as soon as I can, I'm going to do a lot more socialising.

Whatisinhere - fully understand. I think the longer you do OLD the more tired and wary you become. Unfortunately I'm not sure there is any way of determining whether someone is honesty single other than to go with that gut feeling. Perhaps also an early meet so you don't invest too much time.

Recently talked with someone for three weeks. She couldn't make our first proposed date due to babysitter issues (fair enough). Now she's blown out Monday as she has finance issues (we were meeting for a coffee which I would have paid for). I despair. Came off the app start of the month and will try to keep off.them.

@earlynightforme - I know what you mean.
Think though if I were to check if there's still something there it could be interpreted as me.being prepared to agree to what she was asking for.

Per prior post,now that's fallen through will probably just meet if it happens and see if it goes somewhere.

I wonder if anyone actually enjoys old

@inmyslippers I chatted to a fella once in a coffee shop who told me he loves OLD
He has no intention of ever being in a relationship again
He just wants easy access to easy sex - which he seems to find plenty of
I almost didn't believe him , thought he was being the billy big bollocks .. oh no
He showed me messages in his phone that showed yip .. there are plenty of women looking for exactly the same
So I suppose it depends on what you looking for ... or just lucky that you click with the right one who has the same intention as you
Just for clarity I didn't leave the coffee shop with his number 🤣

@inmyslippers

I wonder if anyone actually enjoys old

My male friend (a former ex boyfriend!) does! He falls into the top 20% so gets whatever he wants: whether it'd be women who are keen on casual sex only or serious prospects for a relationship. He is hardly ever out of options. He is 43, interesting, charismatic, solvent, good looking and I guess in his 'prime'. I did say to him that the window of opportunities will simple close eventually, but he has some emotional hang ups so won't commit.

@Foambananas I was always led to believe that free sites such as Plenty of Fish are notorious for bored hook up's
The more expensive the site ... the better class of clientele
I disagree ... I've only done Match and Elite but found both full of men looking for casual, just not what I'm looking for or a bit full on for me , while my friend is now married to someone from POF .. right place , right time

I've actually been tempted by this thread to look again lol then I punched myself in the head .. phew

So question for you ladies. Is the pool of desirable men small with OLD. Could you put a percentage on it.

I understand that most will gravitate to the group they find attractive but is it the case that say 1 or 2 in ten take your interest and the other 8 or 9 don't?