How do you know if another woman has been in your house?

[Livandme]

OK, wise mumsnetters Im after some ideas on this.
In a few weeks, myself and a group of girlfriends are having a few nights away. We have met up this week to discuss and make arrangements. Whilst there, one of the group has suggested she thinks her long term partner is potentially seeing someone else.
She thinks he may have the woman to stay at their house whilst we are away.
She wants concrete evidence before confronting. I suggested she got ducks in a row in terms of financial etc but she wants to try get evidence whilst we are away.
I've suggested a ring doorbell may help but neither partner has been keen in the past so doing it now may arose suspicion.
Also suggested was asking neighbours but she didn't seem to like that idea v much.

Would you know if another woman had been in your house? What else could she do?

I think they are pretty close to the end of the road with regards to their relationship but obviously any findings may mean things are very difficult for a while.

Voice-activated recording app on your phone, leave "charging" as battery has died.

A friend of mine found out via her neighbour who’d seen someone coming and going. OW had been shagging her H in their bed next to their baby’s cot and the pics of their DC. Some people have no shame.

I’d second a sheet change as the most obvious thing. He’ll think he’s covering his tracks but if he doesn’t usually do it (do any of them?!) it’s the most obvious tell.

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

A friend of mine found out via her neighbour who’d seen someone coming and going. OW had been shagging her H in their bed next to their baby’s cot and the pics of their DC. Some people have no shame.

I’d second a sheet change as the most obvious thing. He’ll think he’s covering his tracks but if he doesn’t usually do it (do any of them?!) it’s the most obvious tell.

Indeed. Exh had her in our bed, with the cot right next to it and our wedding photos on the wall. When it all blew up he said 'where else was I supposed to do it?'

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

A friend of mine found out via her neighbour who’d seen someone coming and going. OW had been shagging her H in their bed next to their baby’s cot and the pics of their DC. Some people have no shame.

I’d second a sheet change as the most obvious thing. He’ll think he’s covering his tracks but if he doesn’t usually do it (do any of them?!) it’s the most obvious tell.

This is so grim. Your poor friend.

Takes a special kind of woman too 🤢

Pretend to go away but hide in the loft. Take a sleeping bag, enough food and water, and a bucket.
If you hear another woman's voice spring out of the loft and shout 'Gotcha!'

Could she take pictures of her dressing table and bedside table, maybe even wine glass cupboard before she goea and see if anything has moved. Maybe move a picture on the bedside table to an inconvenient place so it would need to be moved to put a drink on it or something because that would show if someone’s used it?

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Pretend to go away but hide in the loft. Take a sleeping bag, enough food and water, and a bucket. If you hear another woman's voice spring out of the loft and shout 'Gotcha!'

I want her to come along, not spend the time in the loft 🤣

Friend and partner have a number of pets so had to run the dates by partner to ensure he was ok to look after them. He's booked a couple of days of work to do this and look after garden etc.

Have you read the Spanish Chest by A Christie?

change the bed sheets just before you go

Your friend could take a photo of network page showing the devices connected to the home router, before she goes.
Then have another look after she returns. See if a new device had connected while she was away.
Trouble is, it won't tell you whose device it was, and if she asks him he could lie if he's guilty and if he's innocent he will think she's paranoid.
The only sure way is to hire someone to watch the house.

The most likely thing another woman will move will be perfume, because she will be curious to smell it. As long as the perfume is usually kept in a place where the man is unlikely to need to move it, this will be the best bet for strategic positioning.

He's not going to want his partner's things left out - he'll simply put it in a cupboard himself - same for photos etc.

She should say she's going away for longer than she really is - say they've decided to stay on and visit some place and have booked tickets and so will be staying an extra day and night - then go home as planned.

"He's not going to want his partner's things left out - he'll simply put it in a cupboard himself - same for photos etc."

Yes, to not have to look at any objects which might actually trigger the memory that this is a house he shares with his partner/wife.

Yes, it all tends to be quite cliche... hairs in the bed if the sheets are unchanged. A hair accessory left behind. A 'lost' earring. An abandoned pair of knickers. The unusual smell of perfume, especially on a partner's clothing. Changed bed linens. I've experienced ALL of those things and more than the actual infidelity itself, it's the bells and whistles, Captain Obvious, Cliche Express to Shagsville that flummoxed me... like, "Really? You're that careless?"

Surely you just leave an empty toilet roll in the holder with a new one balanced on top or on the side.

Although I agree that the relationship is over anyway, I can sympathise with her needing to know for sure for closure.

She could take inspiration from the princess and the pea.

Change the bedding before she leaves and leave something uncomfortable under the fitted sheet where her torso would lie eg a laundry dryer ball or washing liquid ball, remote control, even a folded up duvet cover (it would need to be folded quite thick). Something she could have feasibly left on the bed not noticed if she was in a hurry that is so uncomfortable that the person will have to move it or take it out.

I would go down the route of a PI. I did that when I had a gut instinct that my ex husband was cheating. It’s the best money ive ever spent. The night I found out I felt such relief that I wasn’t going mad, he had been gaslighting me for 6 months.

I don't understand how a woman would actually want to shag in the bed she knows his wife sleeps in?!

@TheVanguardSix

I found a hairband under the pillow. He hadn't even bothered to change the sheets.

How tidy are all your houses that you know someone's been??? What if they didn't touch anything?!

For me it was the condom wrapper I found in my bedroom bin. He'd shagged her in our bed, with pictures of our dc on my bedside and dressing tables. At the time I was visiting his parents with our dc as he couldn't be assed to go (or had alternative plans). Wanker.

I understand the need for absolute proof.

Can she fit a pot plant outside with a hidden tiny camera off Amazon

Arrive home a day early, hire a car and keep watch on the house.

Well even if he is having ana affair, he may go to hers or to a hotel or she may not be around whilst your friend is away.

If they're splitting up anyway, the best thing for her is to get on with her life and be happy.

I would put clean sheets on the bed and leave the dirty ones in the washing machine so she can absolutely see that he had to wash them to change them.

I might also leave a nightie/t shirt in the middle of the bed on her side and see if it's been moved.

Though of course if they have a shag on the sofa no one would know.