@TheFoundations
So basically, op, you've posted because youre totally fine, you don't give a hoot about this guy, and you have everything sorted. And it's baffling to you why a bunch of people would comment on your thread, even though most are saying roughly the same thing.
Is that right? What sort of answers would you have liked to receive? It's a struggle to see why you've posted at all, if you don't care about what you've posted about. Can you explain what you were after when you posted?
Yes, I am totally fine, thanks for asking. I wasn't aware I had to have an all-consuming problem to make a post. I don't give a stuff about the bloke because his behaviour doesn't match up with anyone I would have as a friend, never mind a partner. I don't think about him. Life is good and busy, thanks.
What was I after? Well, as I have repeatedly said - it gave me a jolt to see the picture. I was unable to compute the fact that I'd been talking to a guy who seemed great, interesting and fun, and possibly a romantic prospect but proved to be the ultimate disappointment with a picture I saw of him that looked almost like somebody else.
I don't know what your job is, but you are very good at asking lots of questions to get exactly the right answer or prompt self-examination. You would be, if you aren't already, a brilliant teacher or counsellor. Your approach would probably get people who think they need a lot of support to question themselves and come up with answers and ways forward for themselves, when they have become stuck, or aren't being honest with themselves about their motivation. This is great when it is a really serious issue, but this isn't. It is almost throwaway. I don't need help. I'm not in need of therapy, support or guidance. I'm not pining for this chap or desperate for a man to make me complete and sobbing that he isn't mine. I wasn't aware that I could only post when I was in dire need of help.
So perhaps I should not have bothered (really wish I hadn't), or looked a little harder to see if there is a chit-chat/trivia thread or board section and posted there. Perhaps I didn't strike the right tone in my OP, which I suspect is the case, as I was called dreadful things and accused of allsorts that isn't true.
I was unaware that this is only for serious help or support. I thought it was a discussion board. Maybe I worded my post incorrectly. I don't know.
So what answers would I have liked to receive? Certainly not being called vile by bullying keyboard warriors (that shows up them, not me).
I suppose the nearest thing to having a 'problem' about this is that the photo looked like what I would have WANTED him to be if he had been the real deal when we were chatting normally and when it seemed fun and I thought it had promise. When I didn't know he would start sending messages about his throbbing member or his love juices. Perhaps for that moment when I saw the picture I thought of what it would have been like to be in a relationship with a guy who looked like he did and was the real deal. Except he wasn't. I knew the picture didn't add up in some way, and it didn't, because it was an old picture when he did look better than he does now.
And I don't think I am being shallow about looks. His personality wasn't the best, really, was it with his behaviour. The ghosting topped it off. I'd no idea that mucky messaging was a 'thing' because I'd never encountered it and neither had any of my friends. The first I heard of it was on Mumsnet! I thought by not replying to his messages he'd realised I wasn't interested in that sort of conversation, particularly as he reverted to talking about work, football and normal stuff once I didn't engage any more.
Hope that is enough of a problem!