@Persephonesgrove
True, I did say nobody discussed body type. I never said I had no expectation, I said it wasn’t discussed, and it wasn’t. Fitness instructor? Where have you got that from? He isn’t one! I’ve never said he was. He and I began speaking regarding work but it was nothing to do with fitness instruction whatsoever. The work is actually not relevant.
Yes, he did play an elaborate charade about pretending not to live where he did. I know that was a pack of lies. I know he lived there.
The mucky messages stopped when I didn’t bite back or respond and talked about general topics instead. Only after the ghosting behaviour did I read them again and concluded that he was a waste of time anyway. It didn’t stop his actions being reprehensible, though.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect when we met. I wasn’t expecting to jump into bed with him. I’d have to have known him for quite some time to get to that stage, if it was right. I doubt it would have been.
I don’t know when he reads my messages, no. I sent him one message only, calling him out (in a very low key way, and telling him I knew about the fiasco at the door) about the ghosting. That was in December, and it was read in May. I saw that when I was going through my messages. I wasn’t in touch with him, and I wasn’t looking. It was ONE message only.
I have said that I know he looks at my facebook stories, because a list appears of who has viewed them. I am not going to stop posting stories just because he might have seen them.
I don’t think I have said I know what he’s posted more recently. I haven’t seen anything in my news feed relating to him for over six months until this morning. Out of curiosity I clicked on the picture, because to be honest it didn’t look like the last up to date (chunky!) picture of him I saw last Autumn.
As for the perceived ‘level of interest’, curiosity about a profile picture isn’t romantic interest.
To be clear:
I don’t want him. I don’t want to meet him. He was an arse for ghosting, and a coward. He’s posted a picture of himself when he was younger, fitter and had more hair!
No I am not ‘struggling’ with it, even though I was pissed off when it happened. He wasn’t worth it. I don’t have ‘feelings’ for someone who is an arsehole. I am not an online dater, I had no idea that blokes sent mucky messages. I was in a relationship from 21 to 36 years old and have never done this sort of thing. And to be clear too, I am not looking for a man, for Christ’s sake, as people seem to be suggesting!
It was simply a surprise, took the wind out of my sails, and gave me a jolt. I wondered why. Lots of other people have made a huge mountain out of a molehill and been very rude in the process. Rather than me being overinvested in this guy, it seems many people are overinvested in the whole story!