Red flags…. Here’s mine

[Anon778833]

I’m spectacularly naive. But I wanted to impart some ‘knowledge’ I have acquired re: dating. Men (because I don’t date women) who change your name to some schmaltzy nickname on FB messenger ALWAYS turn out to be more full of shit than a music festival loo. You have been warned!! ⚠️

What's the sample size backing up this conclusion?

I agree, it's so they don't have to remember your name amongst the many others they're also chatting to. I would like to add saying you're special and different to other women before you've even met, those have always turned out to be bullshitters too.

"I'm old school".

(I'll try to stop you from going out without me, try to get you out of the workplace and I'll refer to single women sneeringly as spinsters).

Having a mad deranged ex.

'Good morning beautiful'

I have no contributions, just wanted to say that these type of threads fascinate me and really make me laugh.
Old school ! 🤣🤣

@WhiskeyGalore212
I agree the 'Old School' ones always turn out to be mysonigistic arses! It really means your place is in the kitchen and serving me in the bedroom, vile!

Oh, I have got a contribution ( only because I love these threads and have read so many!)
When they say, 'I like a woman to look after herself,' ( even though they clearly don't!), it means they want someone who is waaaay out of their league.

Very obvious really: Oh, your ex was crazy? And the one before that? All your exes are crazy psychos?

I can think of one thing they all have in common..

@acolderwar

'Good morning beautiful'

OMG my undercarriage just shrivelled up

'My ex was a psycho'
'The one before that was unhinged'

The ones who’ve had a really hard life. They’ve had it so tough. Everything has gone wrong for them. Ex -wife was a bitter; boss was a total prick who fired him for nothing. Such a nice guy and never got anywhere in life. Too bloody nice.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

@acolderwar

'Good morning beautiful'

Oh bloody hell. That too 🙄

Alpha male looking for his princess.

Odd one but handy one for spotting nasty sorts in all areas (dating, workplace colleagues ect...):

They repeat something you have said back to you word for word as if it was their idea originally. Or they repeat it to someone else infront of you and don't credit you with being the person that first said it.

If you find yourself thinking 'hang on, didnt I day that to them first? Arent they going to acknowledge that? Dont they have any original thoughts (and word choice) of their own on the subject?' Run for the hills.

It's a really good example of narcissistic mirroring in dating. And also, a good way to spot the office narcissist.

"I'm too nice, that's my problem"
"Morning beautiful"
"Morning Mrs (insert THEIR LAST NAME here despite only having spoken a few times)"

Bleurgh

Oh and on a date:

'Have you ever considered dying your hair blonde?'

When sending a pic of yourself.... Reply is you should....

You should smile more
You should wear your hair loose

Etc

Genuinely thought I was the only person repulsed by ‘Good morning beautiful ‘

No friends

I'm a very sensitive person

The ones whose wives/exes 'tricked' them into having kids. I'm childfree and when I online dated I had that in my profile which led to many 'fathers' messaging me about how they're childfree in spirit because their ex tricked them into children…one had been tricked into four children across 7 years aparently…

Then there's the other one who are 'basically childfree' because they don't see their kids so they won't 'interfere' or 'be a problem'.

And the other ones who 'will go childfree' for me… which means they'll cut contact/maintenance so we can date.

The first red flag is that they even message me when I've made it clear I don't want children in any way, biological, step, Foster etc. Not only is this trying to 'overcome' my boundaries but it also shows me that they're not putting their children first if they're willing to have a 'step mother' for them who doesn't actually want children! Then comes one of the three things I've put above and it's like a magician pulling a string of red flags out of his sleeve. Absolutely vile.

Also, more lighthearted and a smaller sample size… men holding fish in their photos - I've never had a good experience with one.

I'm a gentleman

If this was true it would be self-evident and there'd be no need to say it

‘I’m a good person’.
‘I feel like I’ve known you for ages’.
‘The connection is incredible’.
‘You are special’.
Think covert narcissist.

So many I could think of but I agree ‘good morning beautiful’ is awful. Especially when you haven’t even met.
It just makes me think they’re trying to flatter me, I know I’m not conventionally ‘beautiful’ so it really pisses me off. As in, I don’t need some random man’s opinion regarding how I should feel about myself.