Is anyone genuinely happy in their relationship?

[Maydaybankholiday]

Feeling so sceptical these days about whether couples in long term relationships with young children are actually genuinely happy and fulfilled in life.
Many of my close friends around me who have young kids are having some kind of marriage problems or major issues and they are miserable or just surviving through life.
Then on here its constantly partners porn use, only fans, emotional affairs, and thats the milder compared to the threads about DV, abuse etc.
Losing hope about men.
I left my marriage 2 years ago and today I'm honestly feeling like I'll never want to settle down with a man again.
Im so happy just me and my kids and having a guy to date now and again while kids are with their Dad.
Ive no desire for that family unit because thats all I used to dream of and the reality was far different .
Maybe im just being a bit of a sceptic here, can anyone shed any light ?
I can remember the days I used to dream about Saturday trips to IKEA and cosy family nights in and I couldn't be further from that place now!
There's a clip of Cher saying men are like dessert, very enjoyable but definitely not a necessity. I think she was on to something there!

I feel seen, May!
If I were to find myself suddenly single, looking for another relationship would not be my priority for a long time. If ever!

I'd say we're happy. We've been together 10 years and have a 3 year old and a 5 month so we're not currently in a madly passionate, ripping each other's clothes off phase - I find breastfeeding kills my libido anyway, and we don't get as much time together as we'd both like. But we're affectionate, mutually supportive, make each other laugh and enjoy each other's company. We're both confident that the more passionate side of our relationship will come back as DS2 gets older and we're a bit less exhausted (and I'm a bit less touched out) - it did after DS1.

Me and DH are very happy. We have been married 40 years and still love being together.

We are childfree though and I think that makes a big difference

reprehensibleme, don’t spoil what you have now, by fears about when it will end. 80% of wives end up widowed - we tend to live longer than men and also marry older partners, but there are many years of loving marriage to enjoy first, and many happy memories to lay down, to comfort you afterwards.
If I had known in advance that DH would die young, I would have married him anyway. The 16 years we had together were worth the 30+ years of bereavement. Hug your DH and make the most of every day together.

Babdoc, wise words, thank you.

I am very happy in my relationship. I would hate cosy weekends and IKEA trips though! We do our own thing, plan some adventures together and do as little housework and diy as we can get away with. We have fallen into enjoyable established habits like coffee and toast in bed on weekend mornings, a post work walk on a Friday and reading outside after dinner some evenings. We are 15 years on from the little kids stage though and that's the difference!

I think life has its ups and downs whether you are in a relationship or not. I am happily married and love my life (we have 2 young kids, together 15 years) but that doesn't mean we haven't been through difficulties over the years. The people confiding in you may be struggling now but happy as larry this time next year. And vice versa.

Me and DH are genuinely happy. But we are very lucky with support and steady jobs so that helps. Also only one DC.

My early relationship which resulted in a child ended and I spent ten years single (dating loads but single). After ten years I’ve finally found someone and settled down having another child and can honestly say I fantasies about my old single life A LOT 😂. I loved the freedom to do what I want, every other weekend spent with friends or boyfriends. Still having that family element of spending time with my child. It was a great balance. Now I feel pretty miserable most days arguing about dinner, washing, baby care etc! Aaarrgghhh I wouldn’t change it for the world now of course but honestly enjoy being single, develop yourself into the person you want to be, read books , go on holiday, get fit, date different men! Possibilities are endless and so so much more editing that being partnered up. Time will come when you meet someone , of course it will, but until then just enjoy this time. Best wishes 💕

DH and I are very happy. He is my second husband so I knew what I wouldn't tolerate this time round! We don't, and won't, have children so we can put all of our energies into our friendship and our marriage. Not to say we don't get grumpy with each other from time to time!
I hear you though, OP. I have had quite a few people confess poor marriages etc lately. I do wonder if lockdown has led them to do each other's heads in?

We're very happy.
We have both spent that last 16 months wfh in very stressful jobs often with homeschooling thrown into the mix. That could have been a recipe for disaster but we're still as happy as ever.

We get on well, enjoy each other's company and fancy the pants off each other.

Very happily married no issues whatsoever!! Married been together 25 years ! Son 21 daughter 18 x

So many people will have thought they were in a happy relationship though for it to suddenly come to a crashing halt when one partner leaves/cheats. This has happened frequently with the people who said 'yeah we are really happy' and not amongst the couples who were always bickering

This has happened frequently with the people who said 'yeah we are really happy' and not amongst the couples who were always bickering

Lol no cheating amongst bickering couples, ok, stats and links for this claim please.

We are content, and rub along companionable really. 21 years together, we've had our ups and downs, our passion is waning (along with our stamina!), but we are entering our twilight years now, the kids have grown and flown, but we are generally happy.

That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying the couples who tend to have this belief their marriage is so happy and has no problems tend to be the ones where one partner actually has been so unhappy they've ended things blindsiding the other
You only have to look at the 'I never thought in a million years my DH/DW would cheat' threads

@dryasaboner I'm sure this happens amongst the bickering and seemingly unhappy couples too, certainly did for my parents.

I'm perfectly content, nearly 10 years married and 4 small kids. We suit each other I think and are pretty respectful always. Both our parents have long happy marriages too.

Happy together here, 27 years and 2 grown up children. I think general outlook is quite important too. My DH says I’d be happy in a paper bag, I’m content and always look on the bright side. I’m sure I could come up with some dealbreakers and moans about him through the years but we’re all human. I love being happy with him much more than making our lives rubbish by moaning about his bad habits etc (and I’m sure he could say the same about me). And I’m pretty sure I would be just as happy living on my own.

I've been married twice and had a couple of medium length relationships. I've not been happy with any of them. they have all been incredibly selfish.
I'm much much happier on my own. I don't plan on having another relationship.