AIBU to think sister should postpone wedding?

[Rozziie]

My sister got engaged late last year and has planned her wedding for September 2021. At the time I thought it was stupid to plan a 2021 wedding knowing we were in the middle of a pandemic, and now with cases rising and hospitalisations and deaths set to rise, I'm finding it really stressful to think about going to a big event where I have to mingle with people just a few months from now.

I had my jab early so not confident that I'm still going to be protected that well by September, and I also probably won't have had a booster by then. I also have a holiday pencilled in (which was booked before covid) for 2-3 weeks before the wedding, which my mother says I should not take in case I get stuck there and miss the wedding. I have voiced my concerns to my mother who thinks I am selfish and unreasonable, but I think my sister is the selfish one for insisting on having a wedding in a pandemic. It's not like the people who had planned to have theirs last year and had to postpone...she could have either waited until the pandemic was over or had a small registry office wedding this year without putting everyone at risk.

AIBU?

YABU her wedding is about her and her df, not about you. If you don't want to go then dont, everyone (inc your elderly grandparent) has a choice to go or not. You make your, they make theirs

Shes not unreasonable booking a wedding she can't put her life on hold forever. However no one needs to attend especially as it abroad. I wouldn't have booked an abroad holiday this year and if u are concerned about covid id cancel that or shift it to next year.

OP : AIBU :

Everyone : Yes

OP (at 00:42 this morning) : Adds a shedload of information and completely changes almost everything from the Opening Post
Everyone who has read that : Replies cover a bigger range of opinion but still not agreeing with OP

OP then thinks to mention that she is autistic, which, if mentioned before, might have helped people understand the rigidity of thinking.

Rozziie Future learning from this thread. Give all the information that is relevant clearly, in the Opening post. People might still not agree with you, but at least they will be able to comment knowing all the facts rather than you changing so much and adding things as you go through the thread. This would have been better in relationships and would have been much more sympathetic if you'd given all the information at the start and not turned it around half way through.

@BackforGood true but it was hard for me to know what was or wasn't relevant until I'd seen people make what seemed to me as outlandish assumptions, if that makes sense? I probably should have stated that the wedding was abroad but as lots of my extended family live abroad (my dad immigrated here), it didn't occur to me to say that, as in my eyes it's normal. Most of our family weddings are in this country. But obviously it means flying out there, for those of us in the UK, including one set of grandparents, my aunt who is having chemo, etc.

@SVRT19674 True, I do see that rationale. It's also very, very hard to do that in reality. Maybe for people with a partner to support them, it's OK. But I'm single, I don't really have a support network. I feel that as bad as she makes me feel, it's better to have someone than nobody at all? Obviously she isn't all bad, and sometimes I enjoy her company, but this thing she does of making out that everything I want to do is selfish or silly while admiring my sister for doing exactly the same thing is incredibly draining.

Like she puts down my work SO much. She made a comment the other day about my cushy job, despite me working 10 hour days in a very stressful role. My sister doesn't even start work until midday most days, she signs in at 8am and then goes to the gym and out for coffee and my mum thinks that's hilarious and makes excuses for her about how she works hard and is valuable, so it doesn't matter if she only does a couple of hours a day. It's just astounding the lengths she goes to to put my sister on a pedestal. If I boasted about doing that, I would be shamed.