Am I being disrespectful??

[Izzy2021]

So it’s my birthday… today! My bf who I’ve been with a year didn’t plan anything or get anything for me. I dropped him to the station last night to go home and he messaged me at 9pm saying oh we should have had a drink or something.
I told him 9pm is too late and it’s not acceptable to start making plans at that time.
Today I finished work at 9.30 and he said we should get a drink and I said I couldn’t collect him (he doesn’t drive) and he said have a good night then. He messaged me at 10am saying he loved me and would I like to get food at the weekend but I made plans with my kids as he left it too late.
He then acted surprised that I was disappointed so I told him minimal effort and wishy washy interest is not gonna work for me. And even my daughter managed to get me a card!
He then responds: you’re disrespecting me trying to make me look bad. However I never swore or lost my cool just stated what’s on my mind.
And he finally responded ‘that’s the last time you disrespect me’.

Now my question is: am I being a brat or disrespectful? And what are your thoughts about this situation or interaction?

As an adult I think it is up to me to make my birthday plans, most adults do don’t they? I would have brought the subject up myself weeks ago and made plans. I am not sure what he could have organised for your birthday evening considering you were working until 9:30pm and you do appear to have rebuffed the efforts he has made.

But “that is the last time you disrespect me”. Oh dear. I can’t take anyone who talks about disrespect in this context seriously. That would be the end for me.

Are you dating Lauren Cooper?

Ffs that's a ridiculous thing to say to someone. (What he said, to be clear.)

Be safe—he sounds like he gets weirdly defensive.

Does he even understand what disrespectful is? Utter nob. He's showing you how much he thinks of you - get rid

I detest people who fling that term about anytime someone says something they dislike. That’d be a dumping offence for me as I find it tends to be said by the rudest and least respectful people.

"That's the last time you disrespect me"? Who does he think he is? Just because after a year you would have at least liked a card? Get rid, that's either a spoilt man child or someone to be wary of.

I hope you have enough sense to dump this loser. You should have blocked him already.

He sounds like an arsehole, as does the 'Birthdays are for children' person. It was my birthday last week and my family and friends made a huge fuss of me and took me out for dinner, it was brilliant. I am in my 50s, and very happy I'm not a joyless fucker!

Anyway, dump him, he sounds pathetic.

Nah that's it. Self absorbed idiot.

Best present to yourself is to get rid of him.

I'm afraid his language there would make me rebel so hard! I'd have to say 'ah no, it isn't the last time I disrespect you...', then send 2 or 3 texts being deliberately disrespectful, then follow up the last one saying THAT was the last time I disrespect you, now fuck off, you're dumped. Childish maybe, but I wouldn't be able to resist. He's gotta go.

Some pps have a very low bar for when they consider a bloke to be "making an effort"

You're not disrespectful, op. Man's an arse.

He's turning it back on you. He sounds like a loser, man-child.

Why doesn't he drive? Unless there's a medical reason that would be a red flag for me.

Not disagreeing with pp's but wondering how this came about. At what point did you tell him it was your birthday? From the way OP is written it sounds like you told him at around 9pm on the day, and then proceeded to rebuff all his attempts to plan a celebration with you?

Fuck that!! I couldn't be with someone who didn't care!! He is setting the bar for your relationship, be very careful

@SugarbabyMilly

He's turning it back on you. He sounds like a loser, man-child.

Why doesn't he drive? Unless there's a medical reason that would be a red flag for me.

It what way is not being able to drive a ‘red flag’ how is that a warning sign??

“You deserve to be disrespected. What kind of ‘man’ can’t even manage a card for his girlfriend for her birthday. Off you fuck, bye bye”

I would dump him just for the misuse of the term disrespectful...

Yes, that’s the last time you disrespect him because you should dump the useless prick.

What an absolute prick he is. Doesnt do anything for your birthday, doesnt have a particularly strong grasp of the english language, and is threatening to boot.

that's the last time you disrespect me sounds like the kind of thing women post on here coming from their abusive husbands all time.
Get rid of him and make it the last time he disrespects you.

He’s a dickhead.

Happy birthday OP it's not you that's been the disrespectful one in the relationship. Tell him to do one and start seeing someone who deserves you

And he finally responded ‘that’s the last time you disrespect me’.

Either the trash took itself out or that's scary.

YANBU. He's a twat

Wow-such a big red flag!!

His offer of a birthday treat was… for you to drive and collect him and take him somewhere for a drink, last minute, late at night? What a prince among men.

So he didn't think to plan anything for your birthday or even get you a card or a gift?
What a selfish little boy.
He;s the one showing disrespect. How much effort does it take to plan a drink out or something ffs.
I'd not be picking that one up from the station again tbh.