Embarrassed to have sex with me.

[Pinkysx]

My partner has just admitted that he watches porn because im an embarrassment to him and doesnt want to have sex with me. Just that really. Not really sure why I'm even writing this just feel completely at a loss right now. Just to add he was cheating on me last year also so this is just another kick to an already wounded heart.

im just not 100% there yet and for my mental healths sake and my children's i need to be 100% there this time before I make any bold moves.

No OP if you wanted to leave or kick him out you would.
It’s his voice in your head telling you that you are not strong enough to cope by yourself. He has broken you down so you genuinely believe this. Stop letting him dictate your life!

So much good advice here. Please take it and RUN!!!

I would say for your mental health and your children's well-being .. you need to get out now
Not stay and put up with that shit
Your children deserve better

I was about 20% 'there' when I left my abusive ex husband. It was HARD. But that 20% shot up quite considerably after he was gone, and then it was easier.

He says you can have any man you want. He sounds really insecure and wants you to say that you only want him. If he thinks you are such an embarrassment and a slag why is he staying with you. He bullies you to make himself feel good.

@SixesAndEights

I was about 20% 'there' when I left my abusive ex husband. It was HARD. But that 20% shot up quite considerably after he was gone, and then it was easier.

I was about 50% and I agree with this totally!

You're waaaaaay too good for this pillock and he knows it, so he's trying to destroy your confidence. Are you in a position to get him to leave, realistically? i.e. whose name is the house in?

I understand that you are not 100% there yet, but I fear that you keep waiting for this elusive 100% you'll never make this bold move.

Your mental health will improve exponentially once you have left this abusive man. And your children will feel so much safer once they are out of this toxic environment.

Be brave - you can do this!!

Why in the name of god are you allowing that vile creature around your children?? Do you not realize how they are being damaged?

We are married, house is joint. My eldest son asked to live with him when we last separated.

This is not love. And why stay without love?

Is there any way you can see a solicitor on the sly? It doesn't mean you have to do anything until you're ready. It just means that you are educating yourself as to the process and what you might expect as far as the house, a settlement, and child maintenance.

I highly recommend, if you don't have separate (and private) finances, that you start a 'fuck off fund'. This is cash money in a safe location (like with a friend or family member) or a savings account set up at a different bank using different email than the one he's aware of. You can accumulate it in dribs and drabs and then can use it to help you get out when the time comes, if you do have to leave. It can also be used for legal fees if he is the one who leaves.

I know you say you aren't 'ready' yet, but there are still steps you can take.