Struggling with jealousy over everything they have

[LetUso]

My younger sister is having a baby with a man she met age 20, they’re now 32. They have a nice home, she won’t need to go back to work.

I have been in numerous horrible short relationships (online dating) and also ones that didn’t work out. I also lost a baby a few years ago. I am seeing someone and in a good job that pays well, but all my life all ive wanted is to settle down and have a family. I’ve been with current man (who is actually lovely, I am lucky), for a year and 2 months..no sign of us settling down. I’m 34. I’m so jealous of my sister. I am jealous of most people. It doesn’t feel fair that she met someone at 20 and I’ve been through heartbreak, loneliness, etc for all of that time. And I’m still alone.

My family see her as the one who is settled and got it all together. While I’m still driving around (as is my partner) mid week to stay with each other. I feel like a mess. And I’m so jealous.

I just wanted to post to get it off my chest. Finding today hard.

Instead of focusing on what you don't have... focus on what you do have.

Any update OP? Did you talk to your boyfriend?

This is so frustrating to read. It’s almost like you can’t see what’s right in front of you

Your DP has told you he wants children and doesn’t want to wait. Why don’t you suggest moving in and trying for kids?

These things don’t just happen OP. Okay for some people they have accidental pregnancies but for most couples they discuss what’s next.

If you want to move in then BRING IT UP. Ask him outright about it happening, tell him when you want kids. Waving a wand isn’t going to magic it all.

OP, I was in exactly your position re: my boyfriend of one year. I was 33, so only slightly younger than you. He said marriage is a piece of paper like it was not important. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was not going to have children without being married and I knew he wanted children. So I laid it out to him calculating backwards: If I was going to have children with him before I 35, I had to be married to him first. It would take one year to plan the wedding, some time to try and then 9 months conception. In other words, we need to get engaged pretty much now otherwise I was going to have to move out.

He 'proposed'. I was catastrophising.

Either way, you have nothing to lose by explaining why time is a factor and you cannot have him dragging his feet otherwise you are going to have to look out for yourself. Can you have what you want - I hope it is with him, if not, there is someone else out there for you. It is not too late. hth

@DottyDotty91 It's so frustrating when people like OP go out of their way to create problems where there are none. Imagine being lucky enough to have your health, loads of money, a secure home and a partner who loves you and still complain that you're jealous of what other people have and you feel alone. I can't understand it at all. It's truly baffling. I don't have ANY of the things she has and I still feel grateful for what I do have.

Had you thought OP whether if it’s about a relationship thing or having a family thing— because the having a family thing- there’s no reason you couldn’t go it alone if you can support them - I know someone who did this and now has 2 small children and is very happy and not now actively looking for a partner—