Sorting himself out

[stayingontop]

just that really, woke up at 3am this morning to realise DH is having a good old w*nk.... I pretended to be asleep , as not in the mood for it (another separate post entirely!) , then he casually comes and removes his boxers and gets back into bed. Is this normal!? As in when partner/husband/wife is asleep? And then next to them? I couldn't even look at him this morning

I don't think it's wrong or abnormal of him to masturbate like this, but it's also not wrong for you to say "You know you woke me up last night rubbing one out in bed? Any chance you could take yourself off to the bathroom if you feel the need in future? I need my sleeeeeep!"

I think this strikes the right kinda tone, more matter of fact than judgemental

@JustAnotherOldMan

I don't think it's wrong or abnormal of him to masturbate like this, but it's also not wrong for you to say "You know you woke me up last night rubbing one out in bed? Any chance you could take yourself off to the bathroom if you feel the need in future? I need my sleeeeeep!"

I think this strikes the right kinda tone, more matter of fact than judgemental

Except that this isn't about OP needing her sleep, and it doesn't deal with the fact that he's done something that made her feel she couldn't even look at him.

I think OP does need to actually state her truth. Otherwise it's not 'matter of fact' at all, it's 'matter of fiction'.

Have you never got yourself off when partner is asleep next to you? I know I have...don't see a problem with it to be honest.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

I often wank if I can't get to sleep. Going off to the harsh light of the bathroom would really negate the soporific effect of the orgasm! But then I don't have a partner so I can just let the vibrator drop out of my hand 😂

I don't think it's wrong or abnormal of him to masturbate like this, but it's also not wrong for you to say "You know you woke me up last night rubbing one out in bed? Any chance you could take yourself off to the bathroom if you feel the need in future? I need my sleeeeeep!"

I would be aggrieved if someone expected me to leave the warmth and comfort of my bed in the early hours and to go to the cold bathroom which is not particularly comfortable to masturbate, tbh. I would have no issue being asked to be discreet, however.

@30degreesandmeltinghere

Imo unless mutual /part of sex session a wank is private. And needs to be in a private place... Grim imo.

Pretty sure his own bed constitutes a private place...!

Meh, this wouldn't really bother me.

I'd probably clear my throat pointedly to let him know I was awake, he'd go "omg, sorry" and stop, end of story.

I can't say I've never done the same, it's my favourite insomnia cure

Surely private means alone?

If it bothers you that much that you can't even look at him the next morning you need to mention it. 'You woke me up wanking last night, it's gross, can you do it in another room to me please'

@Palavah

I alao don't understand the taking pants off afterwards thing, but it certainly wouldn't bother me unless it was interfering with sex.

I'm guessing he spunked in them and didn't fancy sleeping in his cum lol