The One Where Geller Proves He Is As Useful As A Chocolate Teapot

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Hear that ticking my lovelies?

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

That’s the sound of the bomb I have just thrown over the metaphorical trench edge at Geller. Here’s the previous thread if you need to catch up. As ever, thank you for the support and the cheering and the banter and for giving me fresh perspectives.

I am fucking DONE. Done with this. I need to stand up and fight for the girls. He is NEVER going to do what he needs to for them.

So I picked them up from school and they were quiet but ok. We’ve had pizza in our pjs and they’re asleep. I have had a barrage of questions about who I have seen this weekend and what I’ve been doing and why am I wearing new clothes and do I have new friends and am I working as much as I should be etc etc. Clearly fed by him, they’ve never done that before.

Then I get this (he hadn’t responded to my previous message at all)

How is DD1?

We can talk albeit I have very little time in the next few days. Strangely someone praised me this weekend for how well I dealt with one of her meltdowns. She really struggled with the homework. Together we bought various materials while DD2 was having her hair cut. But of course when she made it, it didn’t go well. However she and I did it together first thing Sunday before DD2 woke and she did it brilliantly.

It was DD1 that led our walk while DD2 was a pain and tried to stop us going, finally relenting after the first field.

Both of them played brilliantly with the boys over the other side of the fence. But it’s the usual challenge of when they are on their own in a small space. It’s simply a very intense thing single parenting. And I can’t break DD1 on sleeping alone and I’m not prepared for it to become tears and anger. As I say she ended up watching the football and was engrossed.

So I said

I also have very little time. So I’ll leave it to you to figure it out.

She is in bed, asleep, with clean hair. They have both been quiet and we have talked about zero tolerance for violence, shouting and arguing. and what that means and the importance of kind words and being gentle and how to act when you’re angry and that you need to be mindful of the words that come out of your mouth as they can upset people. I repeat, next week I will email to discuss the shape of the next school year as it sounds like the current arrangement isn't working for the girls if they are that short of sleep and upset at the start of the school week. The girls need you in their life but it needs to come at a lower emotional cost for them and for me.

I would like to make you aware the level of messaging is unwelcome, and that I am looking to address this and agree on appropriate levels of communication moving forward.

I await the nuclear explosion which will no doubt follow.

I. Am. Done.

I'd send, on Wednesday, when you 'read' the message (or about when everyone has a full tank and fuel situation is normal again):
'What fuel queue?'

Can't you turn the 'read receipts' off? I have my iPhone set that way. Or is it an app you're using?

I agree with not responding. Let him sweat it out. Although I expect you'll receive a barrage of phone calls any minute now.

Found you again. So odd this thread keeps disappearing from my threads I’m on list.

Not read replies about you feeling sad about Geller limiting you.

But I felt exactly like that when I left ex. I remember being slightly demented in my determination to make it up to my DC. And we did everything we’d missed out on whilst I was being controlled by ex. We went to theatres, holidays and art galleries. I’d take time off and do touristy things with my DC & fellow single mums.

Recently as my second DC started college I pretty much broke down and apologised for the shit start I’d given them in life.

It turned into a reminiscing between us, and my girls version of their childhood is very different from mine. Apparently they thought we were super rich (I wish 😆), and they just have fantastic memories. The misery, stress and struggle with divorce and everything passed them by completely (thank god). They remember the time the three of us had together as great fun. The cheap cobbled picky picnics on the living room floor watching strictly, the days out to everything free I could think of, the going to see the Christmas lights (because it was free dammit), the tradition (apparently it’s tradition) of going to see the Selfridges and Harrods Christmas windows. Apparently they had a lovely time.

And do you know something they’ve thrived and I love the intelligent, happy, ambitious women they have become.

So long as you’re there for your girls to balance out the Geller effect, your girls will blossom. Kids aren’t stupid, they can know when they’re loved.

I always used to say I hated the person I’d become under ex’s control.

It took a long while but I did re-find myself. And when I got together with DH it wasn’t until I was utterly certain that he would enhance my life and my DC’s life. I think the moment I realised DH was the one was when he introduced his cats to us and he was cradling one like a little baby, and I thought that’s the crazy cat man I want in my life, and his mutual love with my youngest dc of Jaffa cakes. Which he only recently confessed he hates but wanted to bond with youngest dc (who was very suspicious of any man in our life).
Youngest dc is currently focussed (and on target) to become a vet because of DH and her discussions about life and the universes.

Time changes, this will be a distant memory, keep going. You’re certainly handling this phase far far better than I did. xx

Definitely, just ignore.

'I also recognise I’ll have to queue. Huge queue in which admittedly I didn’t join.'
Wow, you hero, seems like the correct (inward) response.

What next?
'The weather is cold. I may need a jacket' 'There's no milk in the fridge. I may need to go to the shop'...

His messages really are bizarre.

Is it his old ingrained behaviour where you would have previously swooped in and fixed it for him? Is that what used to happen- you would have queued to fill up both cars?

@frazzledasarock what a lovely post.

Oh the mighty Geller will have to queue! How dreadful for him! There honestly isn't a violin small enough for this.

Who will play him in the film about his struggles?

@frazzledasarock, lovely post

@MotherofTerriers

Who will play him in the film about his struggles?

Alan Partridge. Yes, I know he's fictitious but it would be so funny.

Steve Coogan plays Alan Partridge plays Geller, who plays at and fails at being a good father and husband

Yes, that would work

My goodness that message about the world needing to shift themselves because he only has 90 miles of fuel is priceless! Of all the messages he has sent, that one is the winner for me

FFS!! Can you imagine how much worse he’ll be when he’s old?! Think of how much nicer your retirement will be without him Polly plus you’ve opened your girls eyes - even more than you do by being a fabulous mummy! - to the fact that their feelings are important and that if someone is a twat they can leave, very important message for them.

oh that's no problem at all.

I will keep the girls all week going forward but you will have to pay full childcare costs/ extra maintenance on the days you are meant to have them as you are the one unable to take them as per our agreement.

He really is the gift that keeps on giving.

I’m going out late morning tomorrow to see if I can get fuel. If I can’t, you need to pick the girls up and I wouldn’t object if you did the tutor via Zoom. I’m going to take the train on Tuesday which gives me another two chances to see if Shell has petrol. I’ll just keep you posted. I sense the problem is these garages won’t be due more tankers anyway. The emphasis is on big towns etc. We’ll see.

If he means “please could you fetch the girls and juggle tutoring any way you can”, he’s got a funny way of writing it.

He also wants to meet this week to discuss how we address Christmas and has a window in his diary from 1.30-2.15 on Thursday, but I’ll have to go to his.

He might find me slightly more helpful if he agreed to the bloody settlement. Either way, I’m not his bloody PA and even if I was he shouldn’t speak to me like that.

I await your response...
"I could, but I won't" perhaps?

"I have no petrol", should fix it

If you remove him from your contacts he can no longer see when you were last online (except if he's online when you are). Top tip.

I could , but no I won't

@PornStarQuarantini

If you remove him from your contacts he can no longer see when you were last online (except if he's online when you are). Top tip.

Only as long as privacy settings are tweaked this way too though

He is such a pompous, self important little prick isn't he? And he still thinks he is the boss of you, barking out his orders like he is in the army and expecting you to fall into line with no argument. He still doesn't get that you have free will and can say No. He is completely deluded.

"Good luck with the petrol, I'm sure you'll think of a way to stick to the current arrangement as agreed. I don't have anything planned that requires petrol so won't be using petrol for unplanned trips."

He's such a prick it makes me cringe so hard!

Hahahaha - no.

“You can get up early and get in line and wait with the girls. And deal with them fighting in the back seat and demanding snacks and wanting to wee and spilling drinks and having to meet with their tutor on your new fucking iPad like every other person.”

“That doesn’t work for me” on repeat.