How old were you when your sex life died?

[crazychick2]

I'm 30 and my sex life died a few years ago. My husband just isn't bothered and doesn't want to believe there's anything wrong with him so he won't get help. He is impotent and has no libido, but he blames me and says if I 'wasn't horrible' he would want to do it. I know this is just a tactic as he has a history of denial when it comes to health and mental issues.

That aside, even with no sex it would be difficult for me to leave because of finances. I would rather live a monk's life than struggle (and I would struggle). It works both ways - we need each other financially to pay the bills.

So I have to face the facts that I'll probably never have Sex again, and never have a family (that has been hard but I think I've finally got to the stage where I no longer picture a child in my life). Surely I can't be the only one living like this - I tell myself most relationships die after a few years and not many couples actually like each other much, they just tolerate each other for convenience. I don't know many couples who are actually happy after 10+ years.

39 it started going down hill. I'm 42, every other man wants to sleep with me but my boyfriend. Soul destroying. We last had sex in April, 2 mins it lasted.

Are we the same person OP. Mine died a few years ago. Im now 45. I no longer fancy my H or want to be with him, but finances mean I have to stay put and put up with him/ the situation. I can't afford to buy a house on my own, I could rent but it wouldn't be anything like what I have now with H. I have 2 kids.
No words of wisdom for you OP but I know how you feel about being unable to leave and stuck in a sexless marriage.

At the age of 30 you’re going to spend your whole life tied to a man with a limp dick who hates you, giving up your chance of children, sex and happiness?

Id be out of there

It's not even the no sex thing here, it's that he's saying it's because you're horrible. Find a way to leave and start afresh.

I don't think it matters if it happens in a lot of relationships eventually (don't think it does though actually, and hasn't to me, older than you) the fact it's happening to you at just 30 is very, very sad. There is more to life than just being financially secure, that's existing, not living. Can you not focus your energy into earning potentially so you can actually live a bit and not be reliant on him?

Mine was never that good but after becoming pregnant at age 30 then it totally stopped. I'm now leaving him as I cannot imagine staying unhappy my whole life. I'm 35 now.

I'm sure relationships aren't perfect but took me long enough to believe I deserve better and can have a better sexual life as well as staying with someone who respects me. I think I would rather be alone than with my husband - actually ex-husband as decree absolute came through last week!!

Don't give up at age 30, you have your whole life ahead of you and it is easier to start again while you are young x

Oh for heaven’s sake OP, you are thirty years old. Put a boot up your arse and get out of there.

You are 30!

Jesus Christ!

Get yourself out of there quick smart and get shagging

Why on earth are you staying with a man for financial reasons when you have no children together? You’re so young. You could easily meet someone else and have a family rather than spend the rest of your life being miserable.

It's been 3 years for me. Am 48 now. Am a single parent, OLD is not for me so that seems to be that. Am very sad about it.

OP that's insane. You are 30. Get out, rent a room somewhere cheaply and start living the life you want. You will probably be remarried with children by the time you are 40.

I would have been distraught if I thought I had
To give up love, sex and children at 30!

Co depending on each for finances is the worst thing, I know, but still I was happier skint and in debt for the few years I needed to be to get out of my last relationship.

The sacrifices you are making in this marriage are worse than the financial ones you would need to make out of it.

30yo, without children... BE FREE!!!! Please leave and start again!

Why on earth have you decided that all relationships must be unhappy after a few years and that any relationship of longer than 10 years is solely a marriage of convenience? Setting aside the sex issue, it sounds like you barely like this man. You are 30 - you could easily end this relationship and find someone who makes you happy and with whom you can start a family.

Sounds like I'm older than some of you here ( 60 ) my dh is the same age as me . It's only been in the last few months that he had been unable to manage to get an erection , it upsets him and he is bothered by the fact.
Those of you bothered that you don't have sex, you need a frank discussion with them to say you feel you are to young not to be having regular sex .
If you have already had a conversation about it , what was their answer ? It astounds me that men in their 30s are stopping wanting sex ! Crazy.

Jesus OP you’re so young, please don’t put up with this, get out. Better to be skint than living like this for the rest of your life.

You have a skewed view of relationships. Most people I know are happy ... not all the time obv as that’s isn’t possible but generally speaking.

@NakedAttraction

Why on earth are you staying with a man for financial reasons when you have no children together? You’re so young. You could easily meet someone else and have a family rather than spend the rest of your life being miserable.

This.

Many people at 30 aren’t even settled down yet! Get out there and have fun!

25, disability and medication means I really can't be arsed. Also a single parent and basically too much going on to even think about it.

Maybe when he's older and the mental load changes I might consider it.

This is not right for you. You know it isn't otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.
Sex does tend to ebb and flow in a ltr but you are 30. You have a long time ahead of you.
Imagine yourself with this man for the next 30 years. It won't get better if he's being you now for his lack of libido. His own lack of self-worth will chip away at him and who's he going to take that out on?
Run away. Sort out your finances as much as you can and run. You deserve a better life, never mind a better sex life.

*blaming

You have so much time left and so many opportunities to have the family you want.

I'm 40 and my sex life is petering out because I can't take hormonal contraceptives because of extreme hyper mobility. It simulates pregnancy and I get the equivalent of SPD when on the pill because it kick starts the relaxin release in my body. Dp won't have the snip and I find the worry too much. I am still in pain with my joints since pregnancy and if he won't do something, we can't have sex as he hates condoms and the faff he creates always ruins the moment. There is a fix but it's his body and I can't and won't push the issue. Sad really as it could be so good

You are 30.

Thirty!!!

This is young. You don’t have to live like this.

Get out of there, build your own life, give yourself the chance of children (if you want them) and a sex life.

29 but that was my choice. We have since had 2 kids though.

What if you stay 10years then he leaves and has a family with so.eone else and you've missed your chance
Go back to your family orientation cheap.place you're only alive once don't give.up your dream for someone who doesn't like uou x