Husband keeps erotic photos of ex in his bedside drawer

[Disappointedpumpkin]

I recently discovered that my husband of 17 years has been keeping a dozen or so photos of his ex girlfriend posing nude in his bedside drawer for obvious purposes. He did this before we were married and when I found out I was so upset and he promised to get rid of them. Now I feel he has disrespected me beyond repair not to mention the poor girl in the photos. I was heartbroken at first but now I'm wanting to leave him as the relationship has other faults that he has refused to work on. Am I overreacting?

You are not over reacting. Don't say anything, shred the photos and see what happens.

No I don't think you are overreacting at all.

Fucking men. I'd say Unbelievable but sadly, very believable. Awful, rip the pics up and kick the.sad twat out.

Wtf! You deserve better. Have my first LTB

YANBU, especially if there are other problems. If you want to leave him, make a plan. And chuck the photos in the bin now. It's not like he can say, 'where are my photos of my ex naked, I want a wank?'

Hide them. When he brings them up ask if he means the ones he got rid of years ago.

Seriously though, I don't think you are over reacting in wanting to leave.

Also, before you do anything, dispose of any pictures of you that you don't want him to have when the relationship ends.

That’s disgusting. Why didn’t you watch him get rid of them before or do it yourself? He’s grim. Divorce him.

You are so not overreacting. What a scumbag. Kick him and his pics out.

I found them in February but with lockdown I've been too afraid to approach the matter but now I have the freedom to. I have 2 teenagers and work part time, I can't cover the bills on this house we would have to sell. It feels like such a huge wrench and I feel guilty for pulling the family apart.

You don’t need a reason to leave a relationship if you’re unhappy. Sounds like the photos are just the cherry on the top.

This is awful for you, I don't think I could ever ever get past that.
Leave him you deserve better

You’re not pulling the family apart. He’s the one wanking over another woman.

Does the ex know about these?

I'd be tempted to ask her if she wants them sending back or shredding!! It is very unfair on HER that he still has these. And other people have now been able to see them.

And it's v disrespectful to you, too. He sounds like a right weirdo.

I would be using the photos as kindling to set everything he owns on fire. Definitely not overreacting

‘I feel guilty for pulling the family apart.’

But you’re not. He is by HIS behaviour.

You are not over reacting. Don't say anything, shred the photos and see what happens.

This, 100% Easier and quicker t burn them though. It’s not as if he can ask you where they’ve gone, is it?

It's totally unacceptable, YANBU to want to end it. He really doesn't care about your feelings at all does he?

Why were you too afraid?

I would be tearing those pictures into a million little pieces and then putting them back in his drawer. I would then be seeing a solicitor.

@Aquamarine1029

I would be tearing those pictures into a million little pieces and then putting them back in his drawer. I would then be seeing a solicitor.

This.

There's a whole extra level of disgustingness to this considering he could get lots of pictures/videos of naked ladies on demand online 24/7.

Thank you, I am reassured that I am doing the right thing. I'm 48 and feel very anxious about what kind of future might now lay ahead of me but at the same time I don't see any "fix" for this. It IS disgusting and I need to have more respect for myself. I'm not a strong person but getting stronger!

What the fuck?

A 100% YANBU from me.

Please destroy all the photos before you confront him. That poor woman.

Rip them up and lay the pieces on the table for when he comes home. Then hand him his bags.