My partner has just threatened to throw a weight at me ....

[Tamrastarr]

A pretty heavy one. He instead threw two of them at the wall and left large dents. He said "Move out of my way or I will throw this at you" and he then said that I made him act this way. I was having a discussion with him , I was not raising my voice, but I think he reacted this way because he knew he was wrong. Twenty minutes later he brought me some dinner and asked if I was ok. When I said "no", he said I was exaggerating things. What do you think??

@Tamrastarr

I read a thread on here a few weeks ago entitled something like "What finally made you leave?" Although there have been worse days, I think I have finally made my mind up. I am not an idiot but I have put up with this for far , far too long. I have been with him since I was a teenager

Good for you. Hold your head up high and move on to better things.

Leave. Leave now. This WILL escalate. This is step one of grooming you to accept abuse. Been there, done that. I know what I'm talking about. Leave, PLEASE LEAVE!

What do I think? I think this is a precursor to something more serious. No one makes 'you act that way' it's about self control, he has none. Get away from him, soon.

Leave. Now. I spent 7 years with someone who used exactly those words. It’s not a challenge for you to think you can somehow change him. You won’t and no words you say will change anything. Please educate yourself on abuse and coercive control. Imagine if he hadn’t given you the opportunity to move away from the weights, now why wait for his warning to become a reality?

Leave before you make him do something similar or worse nb it's him making him do it not you.

I care more about the impact on the DCs than I do about OP.

I care about both to be fair!

You know the answer. You don't need anyone on this site to tell you the right thing to do. Very sorry that you find yourself in these circumstances.

Phone the Police, show them the Dents in the wall...

Stay safe OP

Sounds like he is testing your reaction. It will only get worse from here. Leave him.

When men hit something in front of you in anger they are demonstrating what they could do to you if they choose.
Please leave him now.

@Tamrastarr

Thank you! I know the answer but I just had to ask. This isn't the first time. We have children but pretty much grown. I have tried to leave many times, but he always persuades me to stay. I have stayed for the children and sometimes, because I feel sorry for him. I know he will never change. I have asked him what he would do if someone treated our daughter the way he treats me. He minimises it after and says I caused it and that I wind him up. I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. I asked him to leave and he won't go

Consult solicitors about getting an injunction requiring him to stay away from you.

Why do you have a problem with your children choosing to hate such an awful human? I can't get my head around this. You are not responsible for the outcomes of his actions. If an outcome of him being a pathetic bully is that his children don't like him, then so be it. That's a perfectly healthy and natural consequence.

I'm so glad to hear that you have finally made your mind up. Now get on with doing it.

Gosh you poor thing

This thread has sent shivers down my spine

Please get the fcker out or you leave and get him removed

Sending you lots of good wishes xxxxx

Either get out now or change the locks and get him out. No second chances.

@Zzelda there's a much quicker way. A non molestation order is the way to go. It could be organised immediately and costs nothing to the victim: www.ncdv.org.uk/non-molestation-order/

@BlueButtercups

Phone the Police, show them the Dents in the wall...

This is what I would do too if he was refusing to go. They night persuade him to leave.

And here's womens aid while we're at it. They help me gather the courage to pursue police action op. www.womensaid.org.uk

Sorry, I see he's already had too many chances. Police and a solicitor is good advice.
If your children hate him - well, he's a hateful person, isn't he? They can probably work out that out for themselves.

Please leave. Protect yourself.

I was in a similar situation. Ex started punching walls, hitting his head against walls, then threw mobile phone at me with such force, then it was a guitar when I was heavily pregnant which missed me.

When baby was a year old, one evening he throw books, toys at me in front of our child as well as trying to pull me by my hair.
I’m out of the situation now. Happy. Moved back with family.

Why did I stay in this relationship? I was scared to leave. I told no one what was happening. But when he physical hurt me in front of our child, that was it. I actually thought he will kill me one day. I told him to leave or I’ll call police. He left. I started to talk to friends, I did think why did I stay.

Leave. This behaviour will escalate.

our children should hate this man it's important that they learn how to judge character and spot violent predatory toxic people

If the kids are all grown up that’s even more reason to leave, they can be your support system and they deserve to know what you’re going through. Don’t be alone in this and don’t cover for him x

And btw so many of us put up with this
Fear
Threats to kill us
Threats to contact SS
They all have a script the bastards

He sounds very dangerous
I hate what my ex has done to me
We fled with a small baby and my god are we glad to be out
The scumbag will hopefully be in jail in a few weeks

Please value yourself and get this loser out or you get out tonight and contact police to remove the c--t

You can do it @Tamrastarr . Finish with him, and don't let him hoover you back in this time. x

I'm not sure why you even need to ask. Get the F out for tonight. Do you have a friend you could stay with?