My partner has just threatened to throw a weight at me ....

[Tamrastarr]

A pretty heavy one. He instead threw two of them at the wall and left large dents. He said "Move out of my way or I will throw this at you" and he then said that I made him act this way. I was having a discussion with him , I was not raising my voice, but I think he reacted this way because he knew he was wrong. Twenty minutes later he brought me some dinner and asked if I was ok. When I said "no", he said I was exaggerating things. What do you think??

Leave. He's taken the first step to it. It'll be easier next time.
Leave now.

Do not spend anymore time with someone who might kill you. Because that's what you're risking.

Wow, throwing anything is bad but a weight! They can do serious damage!!

I couldn’t tolerate a threat like that, that’s too serious.

Thank you! I know the answer but I just had to ask. This isn't the first time. We have children but pretty much grown. I have tried to leave many times, but he always persuades me to stay. I have stayed for the children and sometimes, because I feel sorry for him. I know he will never change. I have asked him what he would do if someone treated our daughter the way he treats me. He minimises it after and says I caused it and that I wind him up. I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. I asked him to leave and he won't go

I think you should make plans to leave before he decides threats aren't enough.

Damaging property is just the start.

And no, nobody made him do it.

If he wont leave tonight then don't sleep under the same roof as him. Get yourself out and take the kids too.

Men like him are most dangerous when they feel they control is slipping.

*they're control

Fs *their control

Are you in a position to leave safely, are the DC still at home. He is playing with your head.

@Tamrastarr

Thank you! I know the answer but I just had to ask. This isn't the first time. We have children but pretty much grown. I have tried to leave many times, but he always persuades me to stay. I have stayed for the children and sometimes, because I feel sorry for him. I know he will never change. I have asked him what he would do if someone treated our daughter the way he treats me. He minimises it after and says I caused it and that I wind him up. I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. I asked him to leave and he won't go

Figured as much op. Have your kids ever witnessed it?

They always bloody minimise it. 🤬

@Tamrastarr

Thank you! I know the answer but I just had to ask. This isn't the first time. We have children but pretty much grown. I have tried to leave many times, but he always persuades me to stay. I have stayed for the children and sometimes, because I feel sorry for him. I know he will never change. I have asked him what he would do if someone treated our daughter the way he treats me. He minimises it after and says I caused it and that I wind him up. I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions. I asked him to leave and he won't go

Well if you are causing it you absolutely do need to leave don't you? And if it is under his control you need to leave.

THE the dc and go
Weights hitting child s head "by accident " won't be a good outcome
They only need to move at the wrong time...

Leave him please. My ex was physically abusive when I used to stand up for myself he would throw things instead so that he was 'innocent'

Thankfully I found the courage to leave but I still struggle with what happened

And your dc are learning this...
You will start hearing them saying "she made me do it"

Call the police and log it. Could someone come over to encourage him to leave?

Call the police then.

You didn't stay "for the children" . It is not for the benefit of any child to be forced to live in a violent, abusive home. Don't use them as your excuse.

Mine would smash his fist into pictures, walls bed heads just close enough to my head.

He would ALWAYS minimise, tell me I wound him up, that it was because he loved me so much, but it wasn't abuse because he didn't hit me, and for YEARS I believed him because I HAD been in a directly physically abusive relationship before plus a physically abusive childhood so he would tell me "I'm not abusive - you KNOW what abusive looks like. I don't do that"

Please do not put up with any more. IT is abuse. And your children have grown up with this.

and he then said that I made him act this way.

I have tried to leave many times, but he always persuades me to stay.

I told him he needs to take responsibility for his own actions.

Hmm.

Listen to all this advice especially where based, sadly, on personal experience.
Leave now. No excuses, ifs buts or maybes but go now.

Get out now!!

OP have you contacted Womans Aid? They can help you leave safely.

I know the police feels like the 'nuclear option' but it's the quickest, safest way to get him to leave if that's what you want. Is the house bought or rented and in whose name?

For anyone to even think about doing that is crazy, to say it out loud is unforgivable but to actually do it- he is a fuckin psychopath!
Get the the fuck out of there and never look back.

I think you should consider leaving. If your partner is being physically violent and threatens you, it sounds like a dangerous situation

Yes - the police will remove him, and if there is evidence (ie. holes in the wall) they may well charge him and bail him with conditions not to go near you, giving you at least a bit of breathing room depending on your housing situation.