@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto
I'm devastated. I had arranged for my youngest to still attend her school 2 days a week, they've said it's not allowed and if I dont follow their advice it then becomes a safe guarding concern. They want her to go to school here. We're not allowed to go to our home city at all so she can't even have her Friday night sleepovers at her nanny's house anymore.
My eldest is with her dad until Monday but our plan was for her to stay with her dad Monday - Friday and with me Friday-Sunday so that she didn't need to miss school. But now even that is a concern since my ex knows where he lives.
I honestly don't know what to do. I really dont want to change their school.
I am so fucking isolated here and any semblance of normality for us has been stripped away.
I have considered calling the police and asking them to remove the arsehole from my house and getting a restraining order so we can go home and things can go back to normal.
None of this is fair.
Can your woman's aid contact go through all of your options carefully, with you, so you can think about it as practically as possible?
This is such a highly emotive time and I'm worried that if you go back to your normal environment too soon, he will manage to get back in with you as his behaviour was normalised in that environment.
Being in the refuge short term for a few weeks will allow you to remember how serious this is, how the abuse was so bad that they wanted you to leave the home immediately with your children.
I really think it's important to talk this through with women's aid and perhaps also the police so you really know your options.
Your girls safety is priority number one and that's both long and short term. Short term they need to be somewhere safe, long term they need you to not ever even entertain getting back in a relationship with this man.
I'm really worried that if you leave the refuge too soon, it will minimise the impact of how bad the situation got and risk it going back to business as usual.
I know you will say that won't happen, but (and I say this gently and from a loving place) you changed your statement for this man before and allowed him to get back with you and live with your kids, and multiple times you broke up then allowed him back in your life and their lives.
This time needs to be different 