Housing issues

[Flatflatflat]

Hello, first post. A year ago my last relationship ended after 5 years ago bc it was not going anywhere, no hard feelings, but i no longer see my stepdaughter, which was/is very hard.
10 months ago I bought a house alone, which I have just got keys for (2 months ago). I love it and the freedom of living alone for the v first time.
I met a lovely man 6 months ago and spend a few nights a week at his. Due to reasons I would rather not go into, he has asked if he and his adult daughter can come live with me. Soon. I am feeling very hesitant but not sure why? Please advise.

I wouldn't let them move in. After 6 months, and especially during this weird time, I think I'd be reluctant for him to move in. But him and his adult daughter? No way

NO!

No no no no no.

Absolutely not after 6 months. You barely know him. Especially not with his adult child. Do not do it.

You are hesitant because it's a bad idea. Enjoy that freedom!!

No. Absolutely not. Quite incredible he’s asked you to be honest.

Hmmmm. So he didn't propose then? Just asked if him and his adult daughter could move in? Where do they currently live?

I don't get the mumsnet obsession with moving in with men - I really don't.

If you want to just date then say no - or say it's too early.

After 6 months you don’t really know each other.

Listen to your heart.

No, please do not do this.

You are feeling "off" about this because you know, deep down, that this is all sorts of WRONG.

Protect yourself. Say No.

Also, abide by the MN wisdom - no is a complete sentence.

Do not explain to him - just a no, will do.

He is in a sticky spot with his current housing situ, I didn't live with my former partner either, just spent time at each other's. So I was wondering if it was general commitment phobia on my part or if it's just mean to say no to helping them?

If you are feeling hesitant that's your gut instinct trying to communicate with you. Ignore it at your peril. This is way too soon. Listen to your instinct.

Absolutely fucking nOt.

As id be considering a relationship with a man who didn't have a means to house his daughter. That's basic parenting and youre not his social worker.

Trust your gut... there is a reason you are feeling hesitant x

It’s too soon.

No no no no no no.

No.

You'll never get rid of them.

You're not mean at all. Just explain that won't work for you at this stage of a relationship.

No.

Not your responsibility.
He can move into rented .
Or a caravan.
You bare ly know him .

I wonder whether the reason you’d rather not go into is one that will have all of mums net wonder why you didn't immediately end the relationship...

Their housing situation is not your problem.

It sounds like you are being rushed into it for his convenience, not because you both want to live together. On top of that, he also wants his adult daughter there too; that's very intense for a 6-month-old relationship.

I would think very carefully about this.

1. It's too soon (imo)
2. He will bring an adult offspring (so you will be outnumbered in your own home)
3. It's too soon
4. They are perfectly capable of helping themselves
5. It's too soon

@CassandraTrotter I am not sure what this comment is meant to imply but it's finance based not anything dodgy. I don't feel at liberty to go into details on another person's situation but he's a lovely chap.

What sort of sticky spot? Don't tell me he's still living with his ex wife?

No no no. Just rentals going up etc

God no! Terrible idea.

So what if his rents gone up - thats what happens when you rent! My advice, Date your financial equal or don't bother.

Are you mad? Hell no! His financial problems are not yours to fix, and sadly I think he's trying to take advantage of you.