Housing issues

[Flatflatflat]

Hello, first post. A year ago my last relationship ended after 5 years ago bc it was not going anywhere, no hard feelings, but i no longer see my stepdaughter, which was/is very hard.
10 months ago I bought a house alone, which I have just got keys for (2 months ago). I love it and the freedom of living alone for the v first time.
I met a lovely man 6 months ago and spend a few nights a week at his. Due to reasons I would rather not go into, he has asked if he and his adult daughter can come live with me. Soon. I am feeling very hesitant but not sure why? Please advise.

Op, of course he was is nice, he's after your house!

How did he take the No? I really hope he doesn't start to go cold on you. Please be aware there are definitely men who seek put single women who homes of their own.

Tbf, there are probadly women who are similar however anyone who thinks it's acceptable to ask to move in after 6 months has some front.

A grown man who doesn't have anyone in his life, other than a new girlfriend.

Run 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️

He’s asking to move in with you not because it’s the right time to move in, it’s because of circumstances. My boyfriend suggested moving in together after being together for 6 months or so because of circumstance not because we felt like we wanted to live together. It didn’t feel right to me so he got a place on his own. A year later we moved in together. The boyfriend is now my husband and have been living together for 11 years.

Don’t give in, don’t feel sorry for him and don’t lend him any money!

So glad you said no.

He had some balls even asking. What a CF.

He's old enough to sort himself out. You stay strong in your decision OP - and maybe consider that this chap might not be all that he first appeared? If he is able to ask a thing like that there's a high chance he is a dick head.

Six months in you would be fucking mental to say yes to that!!

@Unanananana

COCKLODGER ALERT

If his daughter is an adult she best find a job quickly and pay her way. You'd be mad to have two adults you barely know move into your home. You'll be hiding in your bedroom while they lord it up in your home at your expense before you know it, however lovely he is.

Paying bills etc is hard. Doesn't mean you need to give up your home to fix his situation.

Hilarious as this sounds, yep all a very high probability. I second the COCKLODGER ALERT

After SIX months?! Absolutely not

OP has told him No ☺️

OH HELL NO. Absolutely not. It is not your responsibility to provide for him and his daughter.
I’m glad you said no. How did he react? That should tell you more about his motives.

Like PP mentioned, I really really don’t understand the desire (on either side) to live with partners. If you have your own house and are enjoying living alone, don’t change that unless you really want to. There’s nothing better than having your own space and sanctuary. Don’t give it up.

Well done. Don't be surprised if he fuck's off in search of a mug who will take him in.

I'm completely over invested in this thread....so glad you said NO!

Thanks again to everyone who replied. We spoke again last night and he said that he has thought about it and it seems like it's the best to do it this was for everyone and he seems pretty Okay about it. He's found a year lease that starts in a month :) so that's the current plan. We will continue to spend a few night a week at each others but live separate and I can continue to do up the house, this was there won't be 3 of us in here when I rip out the bathroom in a few months!

My at the time bf made himself homeless (in that he left it too late to find anyway) and I ended up letting him live with me even though I really didn't want. I swear it was the worst decision I ever made/got manipulated into.

Enjoy your lovely home on your own. I would be questioning why he even thought this was a good idea to start with. I think some men target single women with assets ...

@Flatflatflat so glad that he has found something after all. Well done on keeping your boundaries.

Enjoy your lovely home on your own. I would be questioning why he even thought this was a good idea to start with. I think some men target single women with assets ...

Yeah and then play the long game or their new rental falls through at the last minute.

Not cynical at all me

Go with your gut instinct. I moved in with my dp quickly but it felt very right, I think you know.

I wouldn't call that cynicism, gamerchick, I'd call it observation and/or experience. As a PP said, there are few as keen as those who need somewhere to live, and the expectation that OP would house the adult DD too just put the lid on it

Anyway, glad it's worked out, OP - enjoy your lovely place

No - money troubles and not being able to cope with rising rents is a double no - he is not a ‘catch’ he is a liability!

As everyone else has said, No don't do it, it's not your fault he's got himself into a sticky housing situation with him and his children, they will almost take advantage of you and will have no where to go should it not work out and you will be stuck