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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What to do?

125 replies

Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 18:26

Soooo got drunk last night, and woke up and the bf has been awful to me. I remember going to bed and going to sleep.
Now he's ignored me, but I've came over I've poured my heart out, asking what I've done wrong? I've apologised, I don't know what for.
I've never ate all day I've been sick. And I feel bloody awful.
I've cried so much at his and not even a cuddle. I have said sorry soo many times. I don't know what what to do.

(His brother said I was fine last night)

OP posts:
Lottieeshborn · 16/05/2021 18:34

Then I would tell him where to go! Seems very manipulative to be honest! Purposely ignoring you and not saying what hes annoyed at! How old is he?

pog100 · 16/05/2021 18:35

Tell the idiot to fuck off and find a reasonable bloke to go out with. This shit isn't worth the hassle.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 18:51

I'm sitting here now at his in silence. Going to pick the kids up now and go home

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:01

Sat in the car crying like an absolute idiot

OP posts:
gokartdillydilly · 16/05/2021 19:02

Stop apologising and stop crying for starters. It's feeding the troll. He sounds like a manipulative manchild, whom you're better off without. Never ever join in mind-games. It's a massive red flag, OP, a warning for what's to come in the future.

Morgan12 · 16/05/2021 19:07

Sounds like he is punishing you for being drunk and enjoying yourself.

Personally I'd be telling him to fuck right off.

MsFrog · 16/05/2021 19:08

He sounds like a dick.

floppybit · 16/05/2021 19:11

Like PP said, you're being punished for letting your hair down and having fun. This is vile, he is not your friend. Avoid like the fucking plague.

BeachWaves2 · 16/05/2021 19:21

Was he drinking with you aswell or were you just getting pissed with his brother?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:21

It was only in the house. A bottle of wine with soda.
I got up to bed about 12 and left him with his brother. I might not of said night but I was drunk.
Woke up this morning and it's been like this all day. I suffer anxiety anyway.
Went over. Cried loads and he told me to pack it in. No reassurance or nothing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:25

@BeachWaves2

Was he drinking with you aswell or were you just getting pissed with his brother?
No all together
OP posts:
BeachWaves2 · 16/05/2021 19:26

Did you maybe say something that offended him and you cant remember? He should tell you why hes pissed off with you.. what hes doing is cruel x

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:32

@BeachWaves2

Did you maybe say something that offended him and you cant remember? He should tell you why hes pissed off with you.. what hes doing is cruel x
I asked he said nothing. I asked crying and sobbing still said nothing
OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 16/05/2021 19:35

No one should make you feel like this. Is this what loves looks like? I had years of being made to feel rubbish. I just needed to try harder do more. Now I'm out the other side. I see what a mess I was in. Love doesn't look like that. He should reassure you. Or explain what has upset him. Not use silent treatment etc.

Please please have the courage to leave. You and your children deserve better. Don't let them see you be treated like this and think it is ok.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:39

Honestly not even a hug when I was crying. Nothing at all

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 16/05/2021 19:39

Ever read / watched Girl On the Train.

It's probably him trying to make you feel shit. If you have no memory of doing something wrong and he isn't telling you anything.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:41

I don't know. I can't even stomach food or nothing. Prob a hangover like. But I've never felt so shit in my life

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 16/05/2021 19:50

What is it that you think has happened?

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 19:51

I've just text saying i am sorry again. I know you shouldn't of but it hate upsetting me people

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 20:02

@BrilliantBetty

What is it that you think has happened?
Something must have, as he's been really quiet and not very nice.
OP posts:
PassGo · 16/05/2021 20:10

It doesn't mean you said or did anything wrong. Maybe he said or did something and you called him out on it. Or he could be feeling guilty about something. If he has a problem he should either tell you or stop sulking. But please stop blaming yourself as the default.

mamaoffourdc · 16/05/2021 20:12

Maybe he has a hangover and feels shit

Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 20:21

I was with him today and it was just awful. Like I say I cried all day.
Maybe that made him mad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 16/05/2021 20:22

@mamaoffourdc

Maybe he has a hangover and feels shit
He said he was tired but it was just so nasty
OP posts:
Blanca87 · 16/05/2021 20:26

You need to get a grip of your emotions, leave him to it. See how you feel tomorrow. Honestly, it’s like he is getting off on some power trip and sending you into anxiety overload. This is a real big red flag. An emotionally regulated person would talk through anything you may have done to upset them. He seems like he is punishing you and emotionally abusing your state of mind. I fear this relationship will bring you no end of grief. How long have you been going out?

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