Why would he have a lighter?

[YetAnotherHastyNameChange]

I’ve been seeing a really lovely guy for nearly a year now. No red flags at all, we have a great time together and I’m completely falling in love with him.

This morning while at mine I noticed a lighter had fallen out of his pocket. He noticed it a few minutes later, assumed I hadn’t seen it and put it back in his pocket. I’m a non- smoker, I’ve never smoked (apart from very occasionally smoking cannabis. He told me he’s a non-smoker who has also never had a smoking habit and has very occasionally smoked cannabis too but hasn’t done for years. In all the time I’ve known him he’s never smelt of smoke, we’ve spent a good 5-6 days together and he’s never sneaked off anywhere that could be used as a cover for having a fag. I’ve got a pretty sensitive sense of smell and I’ve never smelt cigarettes on him either.

So why would he have a lighter? I will ask him, obviously, I’m just trying to think of there’s another reason for carrying a lighter around in your pocket that I’ve completely missed. I don’t have a problem if he is smoking, I’ve never suggested that I’d have a problem with him smoking so I just don’t understand why he’s try and hide something like that from me. It just seems really odd.

Is he a closet arsonist?

Does he have tea lights/ smelly things to light?

For something at work?
For lighting a hob?
Because he picked it up of the street?

Seems like an odd thing to worry about op. If he was a smoker you would smell it on him or in his home.

I’m not a smoker but I have a lighter in my handbag.

I light incense sticks when I do my yoga but if I leave a lighter in the drawer it goes missing. Either DH uses it to light his blow torch for some DIY thing then doesn’t put it back or Teen, who is at the experimenting stage (17), nicks it!

I dont smoke. I have a lighter for incense, and in case i need it for birthday candles etc.

I dont know why your boyfriend had a lighter. maybe he found it?

If my boyfriend asked me why I had a lighter in my pocket a few days ago I’d find that very, very odd, almost like he was monitoring my behaviour when there could be several innocent explanations. Has something happened to make you this paranoid?

Smack

I suspect he doesn't want to tell you he has the odd fag because he knows you won't react positively

No, nothing to make me paranoid at all. It just seemed an odd thing to have in a pocket of clearly clean trousers. He does have a fire at his house but he’s at mine at the moment which is a 2 hour drive from his.

I’m a non smoker and always have been. I use a lighter for my candles and have put it in my pocket on occasions if I’m not going back in the kitchen to put it away. It has fallen out of my dressing gown pocket before.

We have lighters in my house because of candles and lighting the hob which needs fixing.

So give answers your question? He has a fire at his which means he probably uses the lighter for that? Maybe the trousers weren't clean but had been worn once, last time he had a fire at his

I don't smoke and never have but I have lighters in random rooms around my house for candles, incense and to start a firelighter and get our wood burning stove lite.

This is such a weird thing to think about days later?

Crack pipe or tea light

To use as a bottle opener?? That would be logical if he's been meeting with folk outside....

@Monkeytapper

Crack pipe or tea light

Exactly. Could be anything from completely terrible to boringly mundane.

To light a fire, candles, gas hob/camping stove etc. Maybe he always has it on it out of habit or perhaps it looks like a lighter but isn’t and is a secret stash tub. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Ask him and you’ll know.

I’ve never smoked and have lighters.

I have lighters in the house because I need one to warm the back of my heroin spoon I use candles all the time. I also have a gas oven and sometimes it doesn't light properly after I've cleaned it. I don't carry a lighter on me though as I don't smoke or know anyone who does.

However, it would be very easy for me to use a lighter and then slip it into my pocket while I'm doing something else. Eg light hob, put lighter in pocket, put pan on stove.

Its very Obvious, he is sniffing lighter gas….

Ask him 🤔

DH always carries one and doesn't smoke.

Men put stuff in their pockets more than we do too. Maybe he was a Boy Scout?

I wouldn't ask though. Seems a bit weird especially after the event

crack pipe or tea light is my favourite ever Mumsnet sentence.

DD carries a lighter, she has friends who smoke, also apparently homeless people at the bus so go away if you give them a lighter.

I smoke a cigarette once a month and don't tell anyone.