@intheloudhouse I say everything I'm about to say from a place of kindness. I am 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd (2 and 3 year old), I have a very supportive DH and I do not have HG and I am still broken. Pregnancy is hard! Parenting is hard! It is hard.
I do question though whether having a late term abortion is really the answer. You need to weigh up the long term mental impact vs the (relatively) short term physical cost of continuing the pregnancy. Have the hospital explained to you what will happen? I am absolutely appalled that you are booked in for a late term abortion tomorrow and are still waiting to speak to the mental health team!
You have been failed by your partner and you have been failed by the medical professionals.
BUT (as you know) you have made some very poor decisions. You partner doesn't sound like he turned into a shit overnight, yet you keep extending your family with him. First a dog, then another pregnancy. You need to find a way to break that cycle.
I want to say first decision is dog, but given the appointment is booked then first decision is baby.
Do you want this baby? Do you love it? Are you prepared to be a single mum to 2 DC? You may not have a job but you will be able to claim various benefits if you leave. Can you arrange a phone call with citizens advice ASAP to understand what you would be entitled to? Having the sums in front of you may make you realise that you do have options.
Have you tried every medication available for the HG? Can you absolutely not cope with this any longer? Have you reached out to all the options for help that are available to you to get you through the next few months? (I think someone mentioned Homestart etc on your other thread).
Rehoming the dog is a no brainer. Have you heard of Doodle Trust? They rehome Poodle cross breads specifically and are VERY particular about who they rehome them with (the application form is like a dissertation). Please don't try to sell the dog or give it away online. I kmow the dog would have been expensive (someone mentioned 1k but some are going for 2.5k) but puppy farms are everywhere at the moment. The very least you owe the dog is a new decent home, and since there are people who will do that for you with only a phone call then I think you need to do that NOW. Regardless of what you think partner will do (unless you think you might be in danger and then that is a very different thing).
As for 'D'P. I think it is very obvious that you need to leave him. I appreciate that that may be exceptionally difficult logistically. I think you have to move in with your parents, even if you do feel like a burden. At that point you will be separated and can start claiming the things you will need to rebuild your life. DP will need to sell the house and give you half of any equity (you should be able to get a solicitor on legal aid) which should give you enough to pay a deposit on a rental etc.
The only thing that I know for sure from your posts is that you can't keep going on as you are. I understand why you think you don't want to be alive. You have some very very daunting decisions ahead of you and it must be terrifying.
But please remember that your 4 year old NEEDS you and both your parents (even your mum) LOVE you. Lives would be worse if you weren't here anymore.
You cannot solve your whole life overnight. Take each day, each step and each decision one at a time. I wish you lots of luck and hope you can find your way through this to a happier life.