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Original poster

To want to re home our 10 month old puppy...

457 replies

intheloudhouse · 10/05/2021 10:15

We got a cockapoo last summer. He's a nice natured dog and house trained quite easily but he just causes me so much stress.

I have a very active 4 year old and I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with HG so most days moving from the sofa is an effort at the moment.

He chews all DS's toys, all of my underwear to shreds (he gets it out of the washing basket) he terrorises the cat, (we have to now feed the cat on the kitchen table as he eats her food) goes into the bins and rips everything up that's in then, he annoys DS and steals food from his plate, he constantly jumps up on the back of the sofa to look out of the window and bark.. when DP is away I can't even go and stay with my parents for support as he hassles their elderly dog.. and quite simply I honestly don't have the energy or headspace to be able to give him the love and attention he needs at the moment with me being so unwell and then obviously I'll have a baby too in 5 months.

DP will not have any of it that I want to rehome him. He says he would rather get rid of me first. But it's me that's left with him while he goes out to work or for meals or days out with his friends on a weekend!

I just don't know what to do.

Message from MNHQ - please do read all the OP's posts before commenting as there is more to this thread than initially appears and the OP is in need of support. Thank you.

OP posts:
Deadpoet1 · 10/05/2021 16:00

Your dog needs training. I've been pregnant alongside having a puppy. I was extremely unwell for the entire time but did even dream if getting rid of the dog.
10 months us teenage time for puppies, I have a 10 month old rescue Malinois. I think you need to contact your local rescue kennels as you obviously haven't trained the poor thing and, as a result are getting annoyed when pup does the things you don't like. Puppies are hard work and, like the majority of people getting a lockdown puppy, you thought it a good idea. The kennels are full of older puppies because of all of the reasons you stated. Let someone else have it, train it and give it a loving forever home.

Deadpoet1 · 10/05/2021 16:03

Oh, and your DP needs to stop being a dick. If he wants to keep the dog he needs to take on everything that entails and not leave it all to you especially if your having a rough pregnancy.

hamblebamble · 10/05/2021 16:09

Well it sounds like you can't be bothered to train the dog, aren't meeting his needs and don't want him there, so it's probably best you find another home for him. He is a very in demand breed, so you shouldn't have too much trouble finding one.

sunnyzweibrucken · 10/05/2021 16:17

Ew your DH is the one that needs to be rehomed by the sounds of it.

Poor puppy, I think you should rehome it so it can be with a family that doesn't resent it and able to provide more time, training and love to it.

ImAncient · 10/05/2021 16:20

Op I’m so sorry you are in this position.

I hope your appointment goes well later. I’d say move in with your dad. As for whether you decide or not on an abortion ❤️❤️ It’s a tough decision for you either way. Your dad sounds like he has your back. You’ve been through a lot in the last year on top of the HG pregnancy I’m not surprised you don’t have the headspace for a dog. We rehomed our girl a couple of years ago & she settled in with us really quickly. Take care

BradPittsLeftTit · 10/05/2021 16:22

@hamblebamble

Well it sounds like you can't be bothered to train the dog, aren't meeting his needs and don't want him there, so it's probably best you find another home for him. He is a very in demand breed, so you shouldn't have too much trouble finding one.
For goodness sake will people please read the full ducking thread it's not hard now!
namechangemarch21 · 10/05/2021 16:23

OP is there any way your dad could come stay with you in the short term? I know you say he's in his seventies, but honestly, you need a small amount of practical support - someone to make you toast if you can stomach it, bring you water - and a lot of emotional support.

I'm not sure you leaving the house is the best idea. I really don't think there's any way you could terminate a much wanted pregnancy at twenty weeks and not be profoundly traumatised by it. You said you'd starting to feel some nausea lifting, you're under huge pressure. I think having someone who has your back with you for a few weeks would help more than you realise, and hopefully that might be enough to get your through the worst of it.

Then, if you have started to feel physically better, you can plan for the future - see a solicitor, find out what maintenance and benefits you'd be entitled to and if they could support you with the mortgage. There might be a way to stop the house needing to be sold for a few years given you'll be on mat leave. I've found my nausea really helped by being able to rest and have stress taken away from me: I can't imagine how much worse you're feeling with everything that is going on.

XingMing · 10/05/2021 16:26

The dog sounds lovely but it is a difficult age. He just needs more stimulation and probably more exercise than you feel able to provide with a small child and a baby imminent. If you need to rehome, do it sooner rather than later, via the breeder or a breed rescue ideally.

CellyBee · 10/05/2021 16:34

Get him trained and hire a day dog Walker. The dog sounds bored and needs more stimulation or else he will just tear shit up! A nice hour long walk a day with other dogs should help.

Ecruelworld · 10/05/2021 16:38

Bless you OP. You have so much going on, I’m not surprised you feel overwhelmed.

Right now you need to put yourself and DS first. Would the following be possible:
Tell your partner you and DS are going to stay with your DF. Tell him if he wants to keep the puppy that’s fine but he will need to make arrangements for his care. If he can’t do that you will take him to a rescue place so he can be rehomed.
Can DF mind DF while you have a good talk with your midwife and team about your pregnancy. There’s so much you need to think through. You can’t do that in the presence of your partner as he simply isn’t present for you physically or emotionally. I really hope you can reach the best decision for you.

Ecruelworld · 10/05/2021 16:39

Can DF mind DS that should be.

TheWatersofMarch · 10/05/2021 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

booksandnooks · 10/05/2021 16:56

My parents said that out dog got into next doors (had 2 big dogs) and was killed.
in reality they got rid.
I guess you could do that. Dog is young enough to be removed easily and that won't be for long

humblesims · 10/05/2021 16:56

I would really urge you to go and stay with your dad and hand the dog over to a rehoming charity asap. The HG and the mental toil you are under is too much and you need breathing space from your partner. The dog will be fine and you can decide your own future from there without the pressure. I really hope things work out OK for you. Flowers

TooStressyTooMessy · 10/05/2021 16:57

OP Flowers. I’ve just reported your thread as some of the posts are just cruel and the helpful posts are getting lost.

The single most useful thing you can do is contact your midwife and ask for help with this entire situation. They are trained to help with difficult (as maybe you do not see the relationship with your DP as abusive) relationships.

MargosKaftan · 10/05/2021 16:58

OP - its not your dog. Its your 'D'Ps. So you can't rehome.

Take your ds and go to your dads. The dog is your DPs so his problem. Dont take it with you.

You need to end your relationship. Get thr house sold, would your dad let you stay for a while to give you time to get back on your feet? Try to work out what you'd be entitled to benefit wise.

I dont know what to advise re the pregnancy. But you don't need this relationship and the dog is his, so his problem. Id put money on him rehoming happily when he has to deal with the dog rather than leave it to you

Nanny0gg · 10/05/2021 17:00

@TwinkleToeMatilda

Dogs are for life. I can’t bloody stand people like you. Sorry if that sounds really horrible but it’s true. You should have researched before buying a dog how much hard work they are. Your dog has not been trained properly from what you have described and you saying you’re ill from pregnancy is just an excuse to try make yourself justify rehoming him. Do the poor dog a favour and re home him to a home where they have time and knowledge on caring for animals. I know what I have said sounds mean but truth does hurt I am afraid!!!
It doesn't sound mean. It is mean.

And I assume you've never had HG from what you've written.

The OP needs helpful advice, she's in a terrible position. But I'm sure you feel better after that

TheVolturi · 10/05/2021 17:01

To be honest I think you have to do what's best for you! You can be responsible and make sure the pup gets a lovely new home, it's not like you're going to dump him! I don't understand people getting so mad when someone posts something like this, situations change, and sometimes the animal just does not fit in with the family, surely it's best to find them a new home that they will be happy with?

LoisLanyard · 10/05/2021 17:05

I hope that this thread gets moved or deleted or something soon. Anyone posting that the OP is a terrible person needs to back off and read the whole thread. She needs support and help, and not horrible, judgemental remarks by awful strangers on the internet. None of us can predict how our life will be in 6 months time, sometimes it takes a turn that means that we have to make tough choices. Rehoming a dog is not a crime and in lots of cases, such as this one, is absolutely the right thing to do. Dogs cope, there are lots of successful rehoming stories. OP - I hope you get the support you need xxx

HarrisMcCoo · 10/05/2021 17:05

Agree with several others. Your dog is bored and needs lots of interaction and play.

MSQuinn · 10/05/2021 17:17

I really want to give you a big hug. If I lived nearer you I’d help out.

Your dh doesn’t sound very nice whatsoever. In fact it sounds like an awful relationship.

The dog sounds like he needs stimulation. Even ten minutes of training a day will help. He’s in the teenage years which will add unwanted behaviours. Kongs are brilliant. We often feed our dog his breakfast and dinner in one as it means he really has to work at it. There are loads of simple games you could do with him at home to tire him out. But I think you’ve got a bigger problem than the dog. I would contemplate my entire relationship.

MargosKaftan · 10/05/2021 17:22

Its not her dog. Her abusive partner bought the dog. Its his. He won't walk it or take it with him on his weekend jollies, he won't wfh (when he can) to look after it. And he knows his partner is too sick to look after the dog.

OP please leave him. Its his dog so leave it behind. He can work from home so will just have to do that.

Its not your dog so its ultimately not your responsibility. You can not just rehome it though, be very careful trying anything like that as its not yours and your partner sounds nasty.

Please leave. Go this evening if your dad is happy to let you come to stay.

Brokenpencilsarepointless · 10/05/2021 17:31

This reply has been deleted

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maddiemookins16mum · 10/05/2021 17:34

Ah the Lockdown Puppy scenario.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 17:35

She can be both an abused woman in a shit situation and also an irresponsible lockdown puppy buyer

Except the two aren't equal. One doesn't cancel the other out. Despite what the dog loons on here think