To want to re home our 10 month old puppy...

[intheloudhouse]

We got a cockapoo last summer. He's a nice natured dog and house trained quite easily but he just causes me so much stress.

I have a very active 4 year old and I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with HG so most days moving from the sofa is an effort at the moment.

He chews all DS's toys, all of my underwear to shreds (he gets it out of the washing basket) he terrorises the cat, (we have to now feed the cat on the kitchen table as he eats her food) goes into the bins and rips everything up that's in then, he annoys DS and steals food from his plate, he constantly jumps up on the back of the sofa to look out of the window and bark.. when DP is away I can't even go and stay with my parents for support as he hassles their elderly dog.. and quite simply I honestly don't have the energy or headspace to be able to give him the love and attention he needs at the moment with me being so unwell and then obviously I'll have a baby too in 5 months.

DP will not have any of it that I want to rehome him. He says he would rather get rid of me first. But it's me that's left with him while he goes out to work or for meals or days out with his friends on a weekend!

I just don't know what to do.

Message from MNHQ - please do read all the OP's posts before commenting as there is more to this thread than initially appears and the OP is in need of support. Thank you.

You need to train it properly and tbh you should have considered this before you got the dog.

And what is your husband doing for the dog?
Who's idea was it to get the dog?

Same really - get it trained properly or rehome it - I really don't know why you got a dog when you are pregnant with a small child.

He doesn't sound very well house trained. Do you mean toilet trained? How have you tackled the destructive behaviour?

I understand it sounds really difficult for you right now but it is a real shame for your puppy. How would you rehome him? On Gumtree? Local shelter?

Your DP doesn't sound very understanding, was it a joint decision to get a puppy?

I wasn't pregnant when we got the puppy and I obviously didn't expect to be so unwell with a pregnancy as I didn't have any problems with my first. It's my fault I wanted the dog and DP had the final say and agreed as he paid.
It's the biggest mistake I've ever made. DP is doing nothing for him, he will walk him a few times a week but that's it. He's not focusing on training or anything. If I could've looked into the future I would never have got him

The dog sounds really bored. Rehome it if you feel it's best for yourself and the dog but please don't get any more animals.

This is typical teenage dog behaviour, pushing boundaries and being bored.

Could you afford a dog walker for the times your DP is away?

Fundamentally your DP needs to step up here, increase training with your dog and take full responsibility at the weekends.

I want to rehome him and never ever get another pet other than the cat we've had years. But DP point blank refuses to let us rehome him and says he'd rather get rid of me first.

The dog sounds bored and untrained. You and your DH need to rectify this and he probably needs to take a greater role in doing so.

Rehome the dog and your husband.

If he wants to keep the dog, it needs to be trained and/or your house needs to be organised so that it can’t get to the laundry basket or the bin or the sofa. You are not physically able to do it, so it’s up to him. Or no dog.

You got a lockdown dog because you were bored and didnt bother to train the poor thing. His behaviour is a reflection of the way you and your partner have brought the puppy up.

You chose to get a dog. It's a commitment of 10+ years. The most basic of those commitments is training so do it.

Your boyfriend sounds like a dick. I expect you do all the childcare and grunt work at home also?

If Billy big bollocks the bread winner refuses to rehome what will you do?

Dp sounds like the one needing rehoming

If DP wants to keep him, he needs to step up and take control of training and entertaining the dog, who sounds very bored. Otherwise the fairest thing to the dog is to hand him to someone who has the time to dedicate to him.

House training wise he is good, had very few accidents recently. It's the chewing, the destructive behaviour and just his amount of energy I can't handle at the moment with being unwell, and it's me who's left with him.

I think you have more of a husband problem! Did he really say he would rather get "rid" of you over the dog 😱😱😱

You're the one who wanted to dog. Why are you trying to blame your husband for not going anything? You had months to train it before you got pregnant, and months to train before you reached being heavily pregnant.

You wanted the dog. Your husband paid for it, but it was your choice. So do the work.

So it was you who wanted the dog but you couldn't be arsed to train him and now you just want to get rid?

Even with your HG, you still had the puppy for 5 months before you got pregnant. It's clear you didn't bother to train him during this time. You wanted the dog and you're at home all day, there is no excuse

FFS, could you have picked a worse time to get a puppy?
Now there’s a new baby on the way and you want to get rid of it. Obviously you didn’t think the whole puppy thing through but now reality has hit then yes you need to rehome for all involved, including your dog.
You don’t have the time or energy for this dog and your husband sounds like part of the problem.
Look, you have made a mistake getting the dog but don’t make another one by keeping it now.

This dog needs training, it is bored and needs some serious training.

Sadly I think this is going to be a common thing in the coming months as these "cute" puppies are suddenly not so cute when they are destroying peoples homes.

You have a 4 year old yes? Did you teach them right from wrong as they were growing up? You entertained them when they were bored? You didn't just leave them to learn themselves without you helping, guiding and training them? Same with dogs.

I am not a dog owner as I don't have the time for the committment, you all should have done some research before you got the poor dog.

Please rehome while they are still young enough for training to work and they are not just a destructive dog.

You need to hire a dog trainer or rehome the dog.

Ah, just reread you wanted the dog. Have you never owned one before or at least read about what to expect as I assume you did when preparing for your baby?

I know you feel awful with HG but the dog was already 6 months old by the time you fell pregnant.

He says he will get rid of you first?
I would ask him, so how does that actually work?
Kinder to rehome the dog in your circs. He is young, popular breed and would find a family easily.

But DP point blank refuses to let us rehome him and says he'd rather get rid of me first

He's a dickhead, and thats the real problem.
I would be telling him that unless HE trains the dog and it behaves better, the dog will be going. And he can go with it if he's that attached to it.

I understand you didn’t anticipate being so unwell but the poor dog shouldn’t take the brunt of that - regular walking should be the bare minimum, and a proper training regime to deal with the destructive, bored behaviour.

Your husband doesn’t shine in this either, though - leaving an unwell pregnant DW with a child and a dog whilst he goes out with friends?! Says he’d rather get rid of you? You need a serious conversation, without hyperbole, about how to deal with this situation which is a joint responsibility.