To want to re home our 10 month old puppy...

[intheloudhouse]

We got a cockapoo last summer. He's a nice natured dog and house trained quite easily but he just causes me so much stress.

I have a very active 4 year old and I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with HG so most days moving from the sofa is an effort at the moment.

He chews all DS's toys, all of my underwear to shreds (he gets it out of the washing basket) he terrorises the cat, (we have to now feed the cat on the kitchen table as he eats her food) goes into the bins and rips everything up that's in then, he annoys DS and steals food from his plate, he constantly jumps up on the back of the sofa to look out of the window and bark.. when DP is away I can't even go and stay with my parents for support as he hassles their elderly dog.. and quite simply I honestly don't have the energy or headspace to be able to give him the love and attention he needs at the moment with me being so unwell and then obviously I'll have a baby too in 5 months.

DP will not have any of it that I want to rehome him. He says he would rather get rid of me first. But it's me that's left with him while he goes out to work or for meals or days out with his friends on a weekend!

I just don't know what to do.

Message from MNHQ - please do read all the OP's posts before commenting as there is more to this thread than initially appears and the OP is in need of support. Thank you.

Why is DP so anti rehoming since he wasn’t the one who wanted the puppy and doesn’t do much for him? Is it because of the money spent? If so it’s a lot cheaper to rehome now than keep him (and possibly spend £££ on a puppy trainer).

I think you’ve been an idiot tbh but the best solution is to rehome the dog now. It’s only going to be worse once you have a newborn, and the puppy will get harder to rehome and train as he gets older.

And then don’t get a dog until your kids are both at least 5.

I have a cockapoo, a beautiful intelligent dog who needs a lot of walking and mental stimulation.

He is walked twice a day for an hour, the first with other dogs so theres lots of chasing and sparring. Plus my ds plays with him.

By the sounds of it the poor dog is bored and going around the bend. Did you not do your research before getting this dog? You need to look at the worst traits of each breed and see if you can cope with both. Both breeds are intelligent, high energy dogs.

OP have you started a thread where you want an abortion at 19 weeks because of HG.
If it is you the problems with your DH will not go away.
Apologies if it's not you.

I know it seems overwhelming but these are quite small behaviour things to fix and a lot of it can be solved by management.
E.g. is totally normal for him to want to eat the cat's food. He doesn't know that it's not fair game. Best by far to just have the cat's food where he cant access it.
Same for bins. Have bins he can't get into. Don't give him access to the laundry basket/change it so he can't get in.
For the window barking add window film so he can't see out properly, or block access to that room.

You can train him to not do all of these things but it's much slower than just managing them in the first place. Prevent behaviour you don't want, reward behaviour you do want. The dog will offer the right behaviours then, animals are straightforward - they do what gets them a reward, they don't do what doesn't get them a reward. The more a behaviour is practiced, the more it becomes ingrained, so first step is simply to prevent via management what you don't want to happen.

You would find it easy to rehome a dog like this as sounds like he doesn't really have any actual behaviour issues, just a lack of boundaries and self control.

Jesus OP, I know it's thought of badly but I have read your other thread about HG and your 'partner' is a horrible, nasty man. You are having a really terrible time of it, sounds as though you are hanging on by a thread.

I know you won't feel strong enough to leave him at the moment but try at least to take on board that the way he is treating you is not normal or right, nor is it your fault.

Okay this sounds like a boredom and energy problem on your dogs behalf. Your dog needs LOTS of chew toys, kongs that get filled daily with parts of his meals, lots of puzzle toys AND two to three 30-40 minute walks a day. Tell your partner that he needs to walk the dog in the morning before he goes to work for 40 minutes, take your little one out to the park and take the dog with you on the lead. Your dogs is telling you that he wants to do things, he is bored. Look up puzzle toys on Amazon, get some really good quality chews, spray the things you want him to not chew with the anti chew stuff and redirect him to the things he is allowed to chew. Your dog is in the prime of adolescence, he is pushing buttons for now but he will calm down in another year, it’s up to you to either fix it, or find VERY good suitable owners that can. Call up a dog trainer that has good reviews and ask them for their advice too. I am a dog groomer and have seen so many dogs go into adolescence with a massive attitude and come out of it really friendly gentle well rounded dogs, he will get better if you put in the work OP, this is the hardest stage.

I wonder how many thousands of other dogs will now be dumped removed after being bought during covid lock down.... ill thought out decisions 🤔 and lack of owner training their dog correctly. It's sad and others will end of picking up the pieces of these no longer wanted ex puppies

Rehomed not removed...

Shocking how some buy without thinking it through

You need to rehome the dog ASAP. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on the dog. We all make mistakes. Your OH needs to grow up and recognise that you are pregnant and you have a young child to look after. If necessary, go to your gp, then tell your OH you have been advised to rehome.

I’d probably looking to leave “D”P and leave him with the dog if he’s so attached to it. He’s a dick and I can’t see why you’d want to stay with him when he says that to you.

The dog needs training. Start with the food. You need a leave it command. Put dog on his lead, so he can’t get to the bowl. Put a food bowl down with a treat, some distance from him and tell him to leave it. He can have the treat when you tell him OK. Don’t say OK until he’s sat and calm. At mealtimes, start teaching dog to go to his bed. Same goes for the cat’s mealtime. Use a crate or stair gate to make sure he stays in another room while DS or the cat are eating.

If you aren’t able to walk him, then do brain games at home. Look up how to train him to do scentwork. Look at food games and puzzles. He’s bored. When you have a leave it, you can use the leave it for DS toys or the laundry. You can also work on a drop it command so if he picks up something he shouldn’t, then you can get it back off him. For a short time while he’s pushing boundaries, you may need to keep things out of his reach or have lids on the laundry basket. When he has something he shouldn’t, get him to drop it and reward him with something he wants to have like a chew or his toy. Are you buying a variety of chews for him? He needs some smaller ones that he can chew in one go but I find it helpful to have some long lasting chews around and in his toy box - things like antlers, roots. You can pick up durable chew toys at any pet shop. If he starts to chew something he shouldn’t, you redirect him onto something he should be chewing, one of his toys or one of his chews. If you aren’t able to go to training, there a number of online zoom sessions and loads of YouTube videos. You can google pretty much any dog training command. Do a little bit every time you feed him, 5 minutes of training before his meals will start to work wonders. You can also do training on the couch if you’re too tired, especially a leave it. Put him on a lead so you can control him more, throw a treat out of his reach and work on your leave it.

Your partner needs to be doing the training too. If he’s not prepared to put the work in, then the dog needs to go to a home where they are prepared to do the work for the dog. Your partner also needs to be walking the dog. I’m pregnant at the moment and we have a 9 month old puppy (and an older dog). I’m not able to walk the dogs on my own at the moment because picking up the poo makes me throw up. I’m also not able to go to training because I’d have to pick up poo but I did the training with our older dog and I ask my husband to tell me what the puppy has done that day. The difference is my husband is committed to the dogs and so he’s on poo picking up duty and doing all training classes. If I’m too tired to go out, he’s taken the both out individually.

Your puppy is a teenager. They’re pushing boundaries. It takes time and consistency but they do stop being teenagers between 18 months and 2.5 years. You just have to remain patient in that time and consistent in your training. Eventually they get over their teenage angst and settle down.

A lockdown puppy being rehomed. Shock horror.

This thread is very similar to the thread of the pregnant women with HG with a useless partner, and she also said she wants to get rid of the puppy. Also contemplating abortion...is this the same posted?

Oh yes I see it is.

Husband can get up and take the dog for a long walk before work and then the same again when he comes in. A tired dog is a happy dog.
Dog should have restrictions as to where when he can go around the house.
Do you have a secure garden? Scatter feed for mental stimulation.
Kong is your friend here. They can go in the freezer. Good for teething gums
Doggy day care maybe a couple of days a week
The dog is bored.

Your husband needs to walk the dog more.

Kong is some great advice. If you freeze them once stuffed they last longer. If you are too ill to walk the dog can you do some training instead? Make the brain work? At least the dog will have some mental stimulation, but ideally the dog needs walking everyday.

Rehome the dog , and show you DP the door if he wants.
I would arrange it through a proper organisation, but for your mental health just do it.

He needs more exercise/walks, but in the meantime you need to get licky mats and kongs etc with treats in and keep him occupied with those. Maybe teach him to fetch a ball and if you have a garden, sit at the door and keep throwing the ball to tire him out.

You sound totally overwhelmed and in the middle of it all at the moment. Some time to get organised and think more clearly is what you need.

To be fair to the puppy anything on the floor feels like it is their toys. He can’t differentiate between a child’s toy and a dog toy.

It would help to get someone to take him for a long walk whilst you and your husband assess your home and dog proof it based on the behaviours you don’t want - zone off areas, put up a stair gate, pick up all the toys and put them in a gated room etc. He shouldn’t be able to access your laundry. We still used our dog’s pen when we left him until he was over one. He had a cosy bed, toys and treats in it, but we would never leave him roaming whilst we got a shower or something, for the safety of our home and his own safety. The first year is the one where they are most likely to choke on something I think.

Bored dogs make mischief. Tired dogs are happy to snooze. If your DH wants to keep the dog then he should commit to taking it out for a good walk first thing, so it is a calmer dog for you and will be calmer on subsequent walks with you. If this is not possible perhaps employ a dog walker to do the same?

Hope you feel less overwhelmed soon and come to the right solution for you and your dog.

The poor dog needs a better home

OP, you’re going to get slated on here I’m afraid. You’ll get told you should never ever dare to own an animal again. I totally feel for you, it must be really difficult for you trying to juggle being ill in your pregnancy, looking after a wee one and also the dog whilst your DH is at work. As much as pets are a huge responsibility and not something to be taken on lightly, you just don’t always know what’s going to happen and how your circumstances are going to change. At the end of the day, if the dog is making you that stressed and you’re not able to give him the training and attention that it needs, then it would be best off elsewhere. I’m not saying you should rehome a pet as soon as things get difficult, but if you’ve tried to improve things and they’re only getting worse, then it’s not fair on you or the dog. I had a situation with my cat a while ago. I was unexpectedly pregnant, and my two cats had stopped getting along. One of them was constantly peeing in my bed, and I had found myself so stressed and upset with the situation. I posted here for advice and received lots of lovely advice about how awful a pet owner I am, I should never have cats, how dare I consider rehoming her etc. I tried every solution under the sun to try and improve things but the poor wee bugger was so stressed out and so was I. I rehomed her and, as heartbreaking as it was, it was absolutely for the best. She’s so much happier in her new home, I’m so much happier and my other cat is so much happier. Sometimes keeping the animal for the sake of keeping it just isn’t in anyone’s best interests.

I think you do need to have a serious chat with your DH about how much you’re struggling, because it sounds like it’s only going to get worse.

I think you need to have a proper sit down conversation with your husband and explain that if he wants to keep this dog he is responsible for training exercise etc whilst your sick.

What PPs have said is correct, you have a young, bored, untrained and I'm going to hazard a guess at under exercised dog in your home. Those things are a recipe for destructive behavior.

Personally I do think you should re-home through correct channels. I along with several others on this thread I'm sure would take him in a minute but it's important to ensure as much as you can that your dog gets a good and suitable forever home.

It's now down to your husband, step up or rehome. Dogs are amazing but it takes work to get that lovely snuggly companion and if you don't have time for it then it is fairer to let him go to a home who will look after him properly.

Puppy behaves like puppy shocker

Do you have family who can help a little while you are so unwell?
Perhaps family can help you rehome your husband, that sounds like it will be a big weight off your shoulders. Just think. No more nasty comments and no more selfish behaviour from the adult in your life.

@Noidea2114

OP have you started a thread where you want an abortion at 19 weeks because of HG. If it is you the problems with your DH will not go away. Apologies if it's not you.

It is the same OP. I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling You need out of this relationship altogether. It's not healthy

He needs signing up for training classes (by your husband) and properly training or he needs to go.

This dog is half spaniel and half poodle. He is extremely active and intelligent and is not a lovely house pet. He needs stimulation and if you can’t offer that he deserves someone you can.

Your husband is being extremely selfish.

Give him the ultimatum and if he is unwilling to listen agree to his terms, take the kids and go and stay with your parents.

Her partner doesn't sound like he will be open to talking. The things he has already said to her (written on the other thread) are beyond the pale.