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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often do you tell your DH/DP that you love them?

79 replies

Wetterthananotterspocket · 04/05/2021 09:46

I’m talking once you’ve been in a long term relationship, married a while, after the honeymoon phase.

OP posts:
Workyticket · 04/05/2021 09:50

13 years in. Multiple times a day.

Usual 'bye, love you' or 'night, love you'

But a random 1 or 2 when we feel like it. We're both very 'no nonsense' types at work etc and I think people would be surprised at how loving we are i private

Dollywilde · 04/05/2021 09:51

9 years together, 3 married. Multiple times a day in passing. Probably in a sincere romantic way every couple of days.

PegPeople · 04/05/2021 09:53

Multiple times a day.

It could a quick love you bye as he leaves for work or a kiss and a thanks love you when he makes me a coffee but I don't think there's been a day we have never said 'love you' to each other at least once.

stackhead · 04/05/2021 09:54

We're in a bad patch right now, but still say I love you at least once a day.

MonkeyPuddle · 04/05/2021 09:56

Multiple times. At the end of phone calls, when one of us is leaving the house, every few days when he does something that makes me feel that rush of love he gets a sincere one.
He’s the same with me.

GalesThisMorning · 04/05/2021 09:56

We've been together 13 years. Every day, multiple times a day. In text messages and phone calls too. Always before falling asleep.

Fwiw I tell my children I love them multiple times a day as well.

Fianceofdepressed · 04/05/2021 10:05

A few times a day probably! Usually mostly in passing like “have a great day at work, love you” or “thanks for making dinner, I love you”. Once every couple of days it would be something a bit more meaningful and where “I love you” is the main part of the sentence rather than an add on

wanderedlonelyasacloud · 04/05/2021 10:06

Multiple times a day - we've been together over 12 years

I'm actually surprised pp have said the same as I wondered if we were a bit weird for saying it so much!

Wetterthananotterspocket · 04/05/2021 10:09

Thanks for responding guys.
Similarly I say it in passing as an add on to the end of a sentence or message when saying goodbye as he goes out the door, before bed, and more meaningful ones couple times a week. On a weekend when he’s at home he’ll say it constantly, like every couple of minutes.

OP posts:
Thatnameistaken · 04/05/2021 10:12

26 years together and both say it at some point in the day, but saying it repeatedly would be weird, is he insecure?

Wetterthananotterspocket · 04/05/2021 10:16

He would say not, but I suspect he is.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 04/05/2021 10:28

I do it when I know I'm being a pain in the arse (I'm a child and will initiate play fighting when he's clearly busy, etc, I'm honestly like a toddler) because then he can't get angry at me.

I'm a pain in the arse multiple times a day, so that's how many times I tell him I love him.

I do sometimes say it when I'm not being a pain too!

ElaborateSalad · 04/05/2021 10:30

Several times a day. We kiss several times a day too. Every day.

Seven years together, four married.

Flipflopfoodle · 04/05/2021 10:38

Married 20 years, both say or text it to each other several times a day. Hug and kiss everyday too. Teenage kids roll their eyes

emmylousings · 04/05/2021 13:07

I'm an outlier here, been with DP 15 years; we say 'I love you' about once a month I reckon. Sometimes via text, sometimes just chatting, or in a more ''physical' context...I feel that if you say it every day it looses it's meaning, but obviously it's each to thier own. I'm not very lovely dovey!!!

Devlesko · 04/05/2021 13:23

Together 33 years married for 29 years.
Whenever I feel like telling him, usually several times a day.
He'll say something or do something that makes me realise how much I love him.
Likewise he tells me too.

Shoxfordian · 04/05/2021 13:27

Been together five years and we say it a few times each day

StevieNix · 04/05/2021 13:30

Me and Dh have been together for 9 years, married for 3 and we say it numerous times a day to each other - ranging from a quick casual ‘love you’ when on the phone etc, to properly saying ‘I love you’

WaveAndShout · 04/05/2021 13:33

Another outlier here.
Married happily. Together for 20 years. We probably say it every 6-8 weeks. We show how much we love each other every day in our actions.

Ughmaybenot · 04/05/2021 13:35

All the time, everyday. He’s the absolute light of my life and I always want him to know how much I adore him. Been together 5 years, married for two.

romany4 · 04/05/2021 13:36

Almost every day. Always before we go to sleep.
Married 31 years

Maverick66 · 04/05/2021 13:39

35 years married .....every day

tigerbread20 · 04/05/2021 13:42

As a minimum, every night before bed and every time he leaves for work, without fail, even if he's pissed me off. His job is dangerous and if he was to ever not come home I want those to be the last words we said to each other.

Grandbisou · 04/05/2021 13:52

Lots of times daily , I’m glad it’s quite normal as I thought most said it once in a blue moon!
I think it’s odd your dh is saying it every two minutes though, that’s intense

HoboSexualOnslow · 04/05/2021 13:55

Only when i really mean it, which is at least once a day