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Original poster

How often do you tell your DH/DP that you love them?

79 replies

Wetterthananotterspocket · 04/05/2021 09:46

I’m talking once you’ve been in a long term relationship, married a while, after the honeymoon phase.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/05/2021 00:12

@LindaEllen

I do it when I know I'm being a pain in the arse (I'm a child and will initiate play fighting when he's clearly busy, etc, I'm honestly like a toddler) because then he can't get angry at me.

I'm a pain in the arse multiple times a day, so that's how many times I tell him I love him.

I do sometimes say it when I'm not being a pain too!

This sounds pretty manipulative tbh!
DancingQueen85 · 05/05/2021 00:16

Probably once every few weeks. I'd find it extremely off putting to have someone saying they loved me all the time. Action speak louder than words in my opinion

LastRoloIsMine · 05/05/2021 00:25

Everyday at least once either him or me. What I like is he's not overly loving he really isn't romantic or slushy but at least once a day he will just look at me random and say I love you. Then he will go back to reading his book or stirring the brocoli.

7 years together if that helps.

Chocolate123 · 05/05/2021 00:40

Together almost 3 years don't live together yet so if on phone every night before we go to sleep and when together we say it every day especially at night time

Foodisascience · 05/05/2021 01:24

Hardly ever small actions like tea in bed, sharing food, little in jokes are our thing.

This is when compatibility comes in to play, I would not like this nor would DH. I’m totally with you DancingQueen85

elQuintoConyo · 05/05/2021 06:33

22 years in, a few times a day. And through actions too - you can have both, and some of these posts sound sneery.
Regular hugs and kisses, too.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 05/05/2021 06:45

Been together for 29 years this year, married for 22, both say I love you multiple times a day. He probably says it more than me. He nearly always says it first
I'm sure we're one of 'those' annoying couples who irritate others though! :)

IdblowJonSnow · 05/05/2021 07:52

I think a few times a week.

Grandbisou · 05/05/2021 08:15

@DancingQueen85 most people have actions and words. Fine if you have actions. It isn’t an either/or option is all!

DancingQueen85 · 05/05/2021 09:05

@Grandbisou
If you're secure in your relationship and your oh shows you that they love you then it seems unnecessary to be saying it multiple times a day, in my opinion. I'd find it extremely off putting if I was in a relationship where this was the norm

BrownEyedGirl80 · 05/05/2021 09:06

Every time we end a phone call then whenever else we feel like it.

CornishGem1975 · 05/05/2021 09:11

Multiple times a day - first thing in the morning, last thing I night, during text conversations, anytime we phone each other....

Yubaba · 05/05/2021 09:13

Together 22 years married 15 years, we say it multiple times a day and we are very affectionate too, the teens roll their eyes at us.

Grandbisou · 05/05/2021 09:42

[quote DancingQueen85]@Grandbisou
If you're secure in your relationship and your oh shows you that they love you then it seems unnecessary to be saying it multiple times a day, in my opinion. I'd find it extremely off putting if I was in a relationship where this was the norm [/quote]
I don’t think you can cast aspersions of insecurity because people like to hear words of love as well as actions Hmm you don’t like it but I do. Seems like a huge proportion of other couples on here also say it a lot and they have 20 year plus relationships so must be pretty secure!

Aprilx · 05/05/2021 09:44

Married fifteen years, say it multiple times a day, him not as much, maybe once a day.

Crikeycroc · 05/05/2021 09:51

At least daily, usually multiple times. At the end of every phone call, leaving for work, returning from work, before bed etc. My family of origin isn’t like that though, I got it from my DH.

A bit morbid but my OH’s family experienced the untimely death of a teenager in a road traffic accident a generation ago so it’s always very important that you say ‘I love you’ before going out, never going to bed angry etc. I think it’s a nice thing born from tragedy. Is there anything like that which could be causing your DH to say it a lot?

RantyAnty · 05/05/2021 10:02

When we were together, I told him daily.

My DD would say it to her now exH and she couldn't stand him(abusive addict) but he'd have a fit if she didn't' say it.

I say it to my DC, DGC, and siblings every time I talk/chat with them.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/05/2021 16:01

The first time DH said it to me I offered him a biscuit in response

That's hilarious Grin

AryaStarkWolf · 05/05/2021 16:07

[quote DancingQueen85]@Grandbisou
If you're secure in your relationship and your oh shows you that they love you then it seems unnecessary to be saying it multiple times a day, in my opinion. I'd find it extremely off putting if I was in a relationship where this was the norm [/quote]
Are you actually saying you think couples who say I love you often are insecure? Who'd have thought such a subject could be turned negative Confused

crazylikechocolate · 05/05/2021 16:09

Together 9 years , we say I love you as we go to sleep each night , sometimes through the day as well

DateXY · 05/05/2021 21:53

I think it's lovely when people say it frequently but only when they properly mean it and show they actually love someone through actions (at the end of the day words are cheap). :)

From what I've seen though in real.life, there many who just say it multiple times a day out of habit, or the guy says it because he knows his wife/girlfriend will start questioning/harassing him about why he's not saying 'I love you' "enough" (in her eyes).
A lot of the time it can be said out of insecurity; some people need constant reassurance through words, especially when they deep down feel something is missing in the relationship. Like others have said, someone telling me they love me is nice, but acts of service to me are truly what matters since words are very easy to say whether you truly mean them or not.

Men also know that saying "I love you" can be a good method to use on some women to smooth over not-so-good behaviour the men do elsewhere in the relationship . I don't think couples who say it frequently are any more loving than other couples who say it less frequently through words.

Somuddled · 05/05/2021 22:04

11 years in and we say it around 10 times a day. I couldn't imagine not.

lobster12 · 05/05/2021 22:06

My husband and I must be really odd, we say it rarely, maybe every few months. It would actually get on my nerves if he said it all the time. When we say it it feels special.

Ninkanink · 05/05/2021 22:09

You’re not odd. Lots of people don’t say it often, as evidenced by this thread.

But just so you know, it feels special every time I say it too, and every time my DH does.

Iamtheweedonkey · 05/05/2021 22:16

Been with dh 25 years, married 17. A few times a day it's said, usually when leaving the house, going to bed. I always tell my children I love them, never got told that as a child, in fact I remember going for an operation and I told my mum that I loved her, she replied well I don't love you. I know she thought it was some sort of joke, but I've never forgotten it.

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