Would you go on this date? Red flags ?

[walkigonsuncc]

I started talking to a guy a week ago and we have a date arranged tomorrow (meal and drinks)
He has been annoying me past couple of days ..I don't know if I'm just being picky.
Some of the things he has said...

I like a woman who makes a effort to impress her man,nice hair,nice nails,always looks her best.
Would you kiss on a first date? Do you think I have nice lips.

Then he went on to say tonight (trying to flirt I think)
What's your plans tomorrow?anything fun(wink face)
So I just replied "washing my hair ha ha"
He replied ...
"Oh you washing that hair to impress me,are you painting your nails too?"

I replied yes ...
Then he replied "are you doing that to impress me"

Then I just mentioned my friend is booked into same restaurant next week and she's asked me to take a couple of pics of the food

He text "oh so your only meeting me to get pics for your friend"
"I bet you will be making a run for it half way through"

Then asking if I'm wearing a dress for him

Is he just too much?
He's irritating me a bit ..
I haven't really dated In years ..is this normal ?

Give the bloke a chance. It's just some food and drinks. Then make up your mind.

Why should she? She doesn't owe him anything and he's already creeping her out.

And anyone who is actually a gentleman will show you this, rather than tell you.

I had a date lined up with one guy who seemed really interesting but on a call shortly before the date he said (and I almost can’t bring myself to type this) “will you drink my warm milky when we meet”. Blocked

Eugh men like this that made me give up on old (and remain single forever). He isn't nervous he's just a twat, yuk. Oh god I'd bin this one off, not worth wasting make up and a great outfit on IMO.

I typically don’t agree with ghosting people but I’d be ghosting this one. Block delete and run. What a misogynistic pig thinking you should be getting dolled up to impress him!

He told me he has take a days leave today so he can get sharp.

So he's ramping up the pressure so you dont back out.

I've fallen into this trap before. 'Oh just go, it's one date, what have I got to lose'. Before you know it you're half a dozen dates in and its very had to extricate yourself. Best to get out now, do not feel a shred of guilt!

Go to Sports Direct (or indeed any store of your choosing) buy a pair of Nike trainers and ruuuuuuuuuuuun!

He is absolutely the type that if you go on the date and then say you dont want a second he will send you an invoice for the amount he spent. He will likely pay for everything so you feel indebted to him.

Oh god no! I'd be giving this one a miss OP, those texts are a big nope.

I was chatting to someone online a couple of years ago who said similar things to this but mostly really bigged up how much we were ging to get on and how great I was, how much we had in common, how he was going to kiss me, etc.

We met up for our first (and only) date and it was like a completely different person he barely spoke to me and and was really stand off-ish! I don't think I looked particularly different to my photos and had never had any complaints before so don't think it was that! I guess sometimes the perceived chemistry online doesn't translate in person (I didn't fancy him at all) but I hope he learned a lesson not to get too carried away or big headed before he actually meets someone!

After a weird and short date he messaged me later to say he didn't think I was what he was looking for...like I'd be disappointed or something. I would have been happy not to have heard from him again!

Yeah, I’d cancel this. Then it’ll stay just some weird messages you got off a creepy guy once. Not “Tony, who made me flee af midnight to the shelter.”

This isn’t normal and he sounds like an annoying creep

How old is he? He sounds about 15 and never been out with a woman before! Those comments would really put me off, unless you counter them with a text saying that you expect him to look smart with clean hair and nails!

I've met men like this. After the date he would ask you what you liked about him, looking for compliments. If you do cancel the date, I guarantee he will turn NASTY.

God he's irritating me and I'm not even the one receiving the messages.

He sounds far too intense. He's put so much pressure on this first date that you'll never live up to his expectations.

Eurgh just reading that has given me the ick!
I would be cancelling that date he sounds strange and cringe!

I assume he must be an Adonis himself to ask such superficial & arrogant questions? He sounds entirely me-centric. It would be a no from me.

Hi op glad you posted to say you're not going.
He's objectifying you so much and the date with a takeaway sounds much better.

As much as I'd love to hear what other gems he'd come out with, let's be honest it's quite entertaining, I'd be worried about you so don't go.

What are you going to tell him?

Let us know!

@Snapbacktonormality

I had a date lined up with one guy who seemed really interesting but on a call shortly before the date he said (and I almost can’t bring myself to type this) “will you drink my warm milky when we meet”. Blocked

Words fail me.

What the hell has happened to men, that any of them think that is acceptable?? Who or what is raising these creatures?

@walkigonsuncc

He told me he has take a days leave today so he can get sharp. Hair and beard trim

I don't know why he has made it so intense.
Asking me if I'm going to kiss him..well mate no I'm not.
I go with the flow.
No expectations
Your a stranger.

There has to be better out there surely ?

Bloody cancel! 'That's a pity but I need to cancel and can't meet up. Something's come up and it's not going to be possible for date or talk. Best of luck to you in the future.'

And then bloody block him!

He has narcissistic abuser stamped all over him. He may have had bad experiences of OLD, but he is supposed to be impressing you...not the other way around. When men like you romantically, they do try to put on a good impression. He is also warming you up for sex on the first date...you can replace kiss, with more intense acts that demonstrate your 'appreciation' of the fact he asked you on a date. Not everyone in OLD is a loon, but many are...they couldn't get a date in real life so they are on apps pretending to be someone they are not. In my friendship group, all couples that have stayed together have met off-line through work, community, hobbies etc. One friend had an awful experience on an app, and ended up in court as the man assaulted her. I know some people do have success with OLD, but my ex-husband has been doing this for ten years...100's of women, nothing beyond a 3rd date. I met my partner through a chance work meeting. I know dating is hard in lockdown and lots have turned to apps. However, you do need to be careful and read the red flags to dodge trouble.

Full body ick for me too. Run for the hills

RUUUUUN.

Also, I have had the exact same messages as many to these.

Does he have a daughter?

I think it's going to take more than a hair and beard trim for this one to 'get sharp'.

[quote jamaisjedors]@walkigonsuncc

You said you are quite new to this.

May i suggest that you make first dates something easier like a quick coffee?

You can always go on a proper date soon after.

Less effort for you, fewer expectations of getting dressed up, and if you don't like the person you can leave at any time and won't feel you have to sit through dinner.

Good luck with OLD.[/quote]
Absolutely. Never go for dinner on a first date. Too much financial and time commitment.

Oh no, don't go on that date! He sounds horrible.