Page 3 | Would you consider a male partner 17 years younger

Magissa · 18/04/2021 00:49

My mum was 19 years older than my dad. She was 46 when I was born, my dad was 27. She looked good for her age. She died when she was 85. I remember saying to one of her friends that she still looked amazing considering her age and her friend was surprised and asked me what I meant. Turned out her friend had just assumed they were a similar age ( friend at the time was early 60s). She was stunned when I told her.
My mum and dad had a very happy marriage.

StarlightLady · 18/04/2021 05:34

It depends whether you are looking for a long term relationship or some casual fun.

Creepygnochi · 18/04/2021 05:39

I'm only 17 years older than my oldest child, and if I was single I like to believe that I would subscribe to the rule of never dating anybody younger than my oldest child, so no.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 18/04/2021 09:29

@HaggisBurger

Sorry that last was for *@CeeceeBloomingdale*

I'm sorry it's not my story to share. It's quite outing.

PollyDarton1 · 18/04/2021 09:44

I couldn't go out with someone 17 years younger as they'd be 19 and there would be absolutely no common interests judging by the 19 year olds I see about. Besides, I have a child and do not want anymore.

In my very early 20s I went out with someone 18 years older than me and whilst we are still friends now, the dynamic was odd at best. His children were nearer to age than me and he wanted a settled life, whereas I was just starting mine.

If I was suddenly single, I doubt I could go out with anyone below the age of 30 (I'm 36) unless they already had kids and were settled in their lives. At 29 I was single and childfree and still getting up to all sorts!

BarbedBloom · 18/04/2021 09:46

I am currently dating someone with this age gap. It wasn't what I was looking for and have never dated anyone younger than me before, but we started as friends and just fell in love. I suppose 8n my case it helps that I look a lot younger than I am, a genetic thing with my family so we don't get any looks or comments as people assume we are the same age.

It can be quite noticeable in some ways, like he doesn't know a lot of shows or movies I talk about, but we have so much in common that it doesn't really matter. All I know is that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and wasn't going to let the opinions of others affect that.

His family were a bit surprised at first but now comment on how happy he seems and have been lovely to me. My mum dates a guy 15 years younger than her so wasn't weird for my side.

BarbedBloom · 18/04/2021 09:49

Oh and we are both childfree by choice. He grew up in a big family and definitely doesn't want any. We will see if that changes of course.

Aprilx · 18/04/2021 09:50

@HaggisBurger

Just that really...It’s a bit (a lot) of a hypothetical as I’m only recently separated so not dating for now. But I have an attraction for a much younger man (early 30s) - a lot of which is based on his personality and outlook on life (not just the physical - promise 😉). It’s an acceptable age difference the other way round but I can’t help think people would view the older female / younger man combo oddly.

Has it worked for anyone you know?

A man 17 years younger than me would also be in his early 30s. I don’t think I would be able to see it as anything but doomed from the start as out lives will not be at the same stages and I think differences would come up.

I disagree with your comment that it is an acceptable difference the other way around too. Some people might think it is, just as some people might think that it is fine with the woman being older. My personal choice is that I would not want an age gap of 17 years whether I am the younger one or the older one. When I was in my 20s I had a relationship with somebody 14 years older and I didn’t appreciate there to be an issue then, now I am glad I am not with a man 14 years older.

Mumoblue · 18/04/2021 09:54

Well I’m 30, so no. But I also wouldn’t go for someone 17 years older than me either.
I feel like I’d want to be in the same stage of life as your partner, personally. 17 years is too much for me personally.

Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 10:00

@KingdomScrolls

No because it would mean I had to date and eighteen year old boy. The sex would be terrible, I wouldn't understand most of what he said, I'd be a distraction from school and his mum would hate me.

Lol 😂 @KingdomScrolls

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Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 10:03

@Magissa

My mum was 19 years older than my dad. She was 46 when I was born, my dad was 27. She looked good for her age. She died when she was 85. I remember saying to one of her friends that she still looked amazing considering her age and her friend was surprised and asked me what I meant. Turned out her friend had just assumed they were a similar age ( friend at the time was early 60s). She was stunned when I told her. My mum and dad had a very happy marriage.

Oh that’s lovely. Of course I like to hear the good stories. Sounds like bring with him kept her young x

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Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 10:09

@BarbedBloom

I am currently dating someone with this age gap. It wasn't what I was looking for and have never dated anyone younger than me before, but we started as friends and just fell in love. I suppose 8n my case it helps that I look a lot younger than I am, a genetic thing with my family so we don't get any looks or comments as people assume we are the same age.

It can be quite noticeable in some ways, like he doesn't know a lot of shows or movies I talk about, but we have so much in common that it doesn't really matter. All I know is that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and wasn't going to let the opinions of others affect that.

His family were a bit surprised at first but now comment on how happy he seems and have been lovely to me. My mum dates a guy 15 years younger than her so wasn't weird for my side.

So glad you are happy 😃😊. Yes the lack of shared cultural refs would be a thing. Along with having to constantly stop myself saying “ahhh yes you won’t remember x y z you were too young”. I’d also hate to be in a maternal dynamic 🤢

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Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 10:14

Gotcha

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LockdownLard · 18/04/2021 15:09

@HaggisBurger

Why do you ask OP?

What are the individual ages in your case?

freeandfierce · 18/04/2021 15:24

I'm with someone younger, I'm 52 and he is 36. We met on a training course and became instant friends, after a couple if years he asked if there would ever be anything between us. I was shocked as j thought I was too old but he said he found women his age wanting babies and marriage. We get on brilliantly, have loads in common, love the same music and films, share books etc. I have always had a young outlook and he's maybe a bit older than his years. Sexually we have discovered a compatibility, I've introduced him to new things and he has certainly boosted my confidence. He makes me feel young and neither of us notice the age gap it just doesn't figure.

Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 15:31

[quote LockdownLard]@HaggisBurger

Why do you ask OP?

What are the individual ages in your case?[/quote]
Hi @LockdownLard sorry bit confused by your post. My reason for asking is in my OP I guess. Though individual stories of success and failure are of course neither here nor there really. He is v early 30s - I’m very late 40s 😉

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Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 15:32

@freeandfierce

I'm with someone younger, I'm 52 and he is 36. We met on a training course and became instant friends, after a couple if years he asked if there would ever be anything between us. I was shocked as j thought I was too old but he said he found women his age wanting babies and marriage. We get on brilliantly, have loads in common, love the same music and films, share books etc. I have always had a young outlook and he's maybe a bit older than his years. Sexually we have discovered a compatibility, I've introduced him to new things and he has certainly boosted my confidence. He makes me feel young and neither of us notice the age gap it just doesn't figure.

Very inspiring @freeandfierce - so glad you are both enjoying your relationship 😊

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Pickledpbeetroot · 18/04/2021 15:44

Nope, my friends husband is 15 years older then her, they met when she was 37 and he was 52. She had a 4 year old, and he had kids in their late teens, now she is 50, he is 65. They both want different things, she still wants to go out every weekend for dinner and drinks, he doesn’t. They hardly spend any time together, their sex life is shit, and I can already see her starting to flirt with guys her own age.

Think he would have pulled the plug in their relationship years ago, but it started as an affair and he didn’t want to prove everyone else right.

RantyAnty · 18/04/2021 15:54

My last marriage had a 20 year gap.

I'd never been with someone so compatible.
He was the love of my life and I thought I was his until I wasn't.
The worst heartbreak I'd ever experienced.

LockdownLard · 18/04/2021 16:05

@HaggisBurger
Sorry! I must have missed that info somehow! I am 55 my partner is 39, we’ve been together six years - as another poster said - I look young for my age which helps, and he looks older than he is so people think we are the same age! I do wonder about being 70 and he’s 53 but will cross that bridge when we come to it. We have a child each and one of the first things I established right at the start was whether he wanted more kids - if he had that would have been the end or it. We’re really happy together, there’s no “parenting” him by me, that’s for sure!

Original poster

HaggisBurger · 18/04/2021 17:19

[quote LockdownLard]@HaggisBurger
Sorry! I must have missed that info somehow! I am 55 my partner is 39, we’ve been together six years - as another poster said - I look young for my age which helps, and he looks older than he is so people think we are the same age! I do wonder about being 70 and he’s 53 but will cross that bridge when we come to it. We have a child each and one of the first things I established right at the start was whether he wanted more kids - if he had that would have been the end or it. We’re really happy together, there’s no “parenting” him by me, that’s for sure![/quote]
@LockdownLard - that’s lovely that that has all worked out for you both. Did you ever have comments from other people about cougars and you boys etc? Very glad you are happy together 😊

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LockdownLard · 18/04/2021 17:25

@HaggisBurger

No, we don’t get any comments, I think he had one comment once about being a “granny shagger” lol but that was by someone we dont really care about anyway and we just burst out laughing, I’m not a granny yet anyway! His family and my family just see us as a couple regardless of the age difference. If anyone said anything I’d just ask them what it’s got to do with them?

Moonland · 18/04/2021 18:08

Is he a teenager op?

LockdownLard · 18/04/2021 18:42

@Moonland OP has already said he is early 30s.

LockdownLard · 18/04/2021 18:44

@HaggisBurger ps the granny shagger comment was from someone who’d never met me, so obviously it’s been a subject of conversation- I can honestly say I don’t give a shit - my relationship is feck all do to with anyone else x