Would this freak you out?

[Chickencuddle]

So I have a history of sexual abuse and very small things can trigger me so It might just be me.
Last night I woke in the night to my husband climbing on top of me and lying on top of me. He kept bringing his face close to my face like nose to nose and then bringing it away then doing the same thing again and lying on me. I just Froze. I lay there for a bit Jyst kind of frozen then after a few minutes I opened my eyes to see if he was awake or had been sleepwalking. When I opened my eyes he was next to me just staring right at me. I pretended I had just woken up and asked him to pass me the water. I had a drink and we both went back to sleep. But it totay freaked me out and I feel like I just don't want to be around him atm. I know I probably sound dramatic

I don't know the backstory, but that is weird as fuck. Sounds like he was seeing how deeply you were asleep so he could do something to you. I wouldn't bother asking him, he will only lie. Just leave, he sounds awful

I remember your posts.

You are tying yourself in knots trying to come up with an innocent reason for his behaviour.

It's blatantly obvious to the rest of us though.

You need to leave. He won't ever change.

He's also testing you. He's been on his best behaviour but he's now trying to work out what he can get away with.

It's horrific to read as an outsider.

Yes he’s testing you. He did it to see how you’d react - you didn’t react - you froze which is understandable.
If you do not tell him you know what he did he will do it again. I’m sorry you are in this situation. He knows what he is doing.
You do need counselling and women’s aid.

Oh Chicken, please leave. Get away from him!
You did it once, you can do it again!

Oh OP, I remember your previous threads and am so sorry to hear this is happening again. I’m sorry but given everything you have said before about him I do not believe for one second he was asleep.

I remember your previous threads. How long have you been back with him?

I also don't think he was asleep. He seems to be testing out his old tricks again.

You say he has “changed” since you left him. He is on his best behaviour to lure you into a false sense of security. Rapists and emotional/physical abusers never ever change. You need to leave before he sexually assaults your DC. Do you want your DC to grow up believing that abusive relationships are healthy? DC tend to imitate role models they have, negative or positive.

@Chickencuddle

He has been great recently with me and the kids. I can't fault him tbh. I'm wondering if it was in his sleep. I don't want to jump on him at any little thing as he felt guilty after I left and I felt bad. We are still trying to get back on track as although he is being great I don't quite trust him yet I'm still feeling like he could go back to how he was and that's why this has just thrown me.

It's not 'any little thing' he made you so sacred you froze. He is a rapist and abuser, HE WONT CHANGE , you've had threads about him before. He didn't feel guilty when you left , he feels he's won now you've gone back. I know sometimes it takes several times to get away , but you really need to go for good.

@Chickencuddle

I don't know it really felt like he realised he was wrong and he felt bad about it and he hasn't done anything like that since.

No he didn't

I'm sad you make excuses for him every time , your poor kids.

Based on that single event... I'd think it was weird and creepy. My immediate reaction would not be "oh he's asleep", it would be "fuck off and stop trying to have sex with me". Sounds incredibly dodgy to me and needs to be discussed.

I've just read your other threads. I'm shocked you're in the same house with him, never mind the same bed.

I'm sure you have many reasons in your mind why you stay with him. For the sake of the kids... where would you go... he's promised to change... you love him... it's your fault... etc... but deep down you must know that you have to leave him.

It's hard, incredibly hard, to take that step. But there is so much support and help out there if you only ask for it.

Please please be brave and take that step.

You have to talk to him about his, for sure.

Oh chicken i vaguely remember your other threads too.

Hou need to phone women's aid. He will always be an abusive rapist and you need to protect yourself and your children.

Why do you make excuses for him?
Why are you not thinking of yourself and children first?
How far does he have to go before you day no more?
Testing you to see if you ate awake, ready to have sex with you, rape you whilst asleep or frozen in fear.... that seems to be what he is doing.

Say not day

Are not ate

@BanditoShipman

I read your previous threads, well one and a bit of a second one, then I felt too sick and distressed to continue reading, he rapes and sexually assaults you and abuses your children. I wouldn’t be surprised if he started sexually abusing them too as he appears to have no boundaries in this respect at all.

I understand how hard it must be and your very difficult background but you are failing your children. When they are older they will hate you for not saving them.

I haven't read others threads but if he abuses the children then I hope social services are involved. They need protection and if you won't/can't leave him then perhaps someone else needs to look out for your children?

@Chickencuddle I was up late last night reading this and your previous two threads, and you've really been on my mind since. You've been let down so badly in your life. And none of it was your fault. I really hope you can find support in real life and get to a safer place soon. It's clear how much you love your dc and it's scary, but you're all they've got. Sending a virtual hug. You can do this. You're stronger than you think you are

I’ve followed your story & glad you have been ok🌻

You’ve had such great advice in the past. Trust your inner voice, listening to it will help you to feel more sure. keep posting when you need.💐

Hope you’re okay OP

Hope you are doing ok @chickencuddle

I'd be freaked out too. Much less so if he was sleep walking or something but agree you need to figure out what on earth he was doing. Don't feel guilty about needing space. x

I would say the fact that you can't ask him what the fuck he was doing rings alarm bells with me

Hope you're okay chicken