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Original poster

What would your DH do?

149 replies

Whattodo21 · 13/04/2021 19:34

Just curious as to what would happen in other people's houses.
You arrange to go for a meal with friends. You decide not to drive, so that you can have a drink, if you wish.
You over indulge and end up home later than you otherwise would have.
What would your DH do the next day?

OP posts:
HearMeSnore · 13/04/2021 20:23

It would depend whether I remembered to text him and tell him I'd be home later than planned.

He wouldn't care if I got drunk or came home late but he'd be a bit cross if I made him worry.

ferando81 · 13/04/2021 20:23

Does he ring you when he’s going to be late?If he does maybe he thinks you are inconsiderate but that’s no excuse for the silent treatment

Original poster
Whattodo21 · 13/04/2021 20:24

Yeah he's upset that I had said I was going for a meal, and it had turned in to post meal drinks. It wasn't supposed to be a "night out". He prefers it if I I gale a meal and leave with 2 hours. That's not how I see meeting up with friends.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 13/04/2021 20:25

@Whattodo21

Yes it worked for a long time on me too. I am trying not to let it bother me but am wondering how long he plans on keeping this punishment up.
I'm wondering how long you are going to stay living with a controlling man.
ithoughtisawapuddycat · 13/04/2021 20:29

He'd be having a lie I as well as he'd have stayed up to come and get me, unless he was working the next day. No kids here. Probably tease me a bit but only because I still tease him about a drunk night out that he had a few years ago!

WaterBottle123 · 13/04/2021 20:31

How else does he try and control you?

Hope you're financially independent....

Oh mine would have made me tea and said he was glad I'd got to spend time with friends

Howshouldibehave · 13/04/2021 20:32

@Whattodo21

Yeah he's upset that I had said I was going for a meal, and it had turned in to post meal drinks. It wasn't supposed to be a "night out". He prefers it if I I gale a meal and leave with 2 hours. That's not how I see meeting up with friends.
No, me neither!

I wrongly read your post and thought you’d stayed out overnight without telling him.

So you went out for dinner (not lunch?) and got back before midnight? My DH wouldn’t even say that was late-he would still probably offer to come out and collect me at that time. He’s not an early sleeper though.

Why does your DH want you to leave within 2 hours-what does he think you’re going to do?!

Naillig222 · 13/04/2021 20:34

What difference did it make to him if it was a meal or post meal drinks?

To answer your question my DH would have done nothing. There would literally have been nothing for him to react to.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/04/2021 20:34

He's a sulker isn't he? Doesn't he go ever go out?
How scandalous that you went for a night out with friends (which presumably you haven't been able to do for ages) which was great fun and went on longer than expected but came home at midnight and got up at 5 am to do your chores. You absolutely deserve to be shunned for such outrageous behaviour. (NOT)

I don't know why he makes you feel so bad you have to do extra chores to atone. I don't think you should have to make it up to him. He's being V unreasonable. Its not an equal distribution of entertainment IMHO. Why cant you have the occasional night out?

I'm not sure what would happen in our house as DC are no longer young uns, but he would probably turn it into a competition as in, he would never have such a hang over or be unable to do a b c. which can be quite annoying but then He wouldnt have a leg to stand on to be fair as he has been known to have the occasional extended lunch and last train home.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 13/04/2021 20:38

So he’s controlling

AhNowTed · 13/04/2021 20:39

He's basically trying to curtail your social life.

Do NOT let that happen.

You have zero to apologise for.

Fuck sake.

Mylittlesandwich · 13/04/2021 20:39

Well we have a young DS so it would depend on what was happening the next day. Having dinner and a few drinks and being home at midnight however would not be an issue at all. He'd probably half wake up, give me a sleepy kiss and get up with DS in the morning in that situation.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/04/2021 20:41

God he sounds horrible!

My DH wouldn’t bat an eyelid, he’d prob be asleep and have no idea what time I got in. But he’s used to me going out for lunch with girlfriends and getting home late that night 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Thingsdogetbetter · 13/04/2021 20:41

No matter how much I insist I'll be home at a responsible hour and not be drunk, he leaves the hall light on and a £10 out for a taxi (in case I've overspent or lost my wallet).

ScaryMimeker · 13/04/2021 20:42

Does DH have friends?

Mamascoven · 13/04/2021 20:46

Hes controlling and if he has always been like this chances are he wont change. Does he have his own friends to go out with? I have been in this situation and it's no way to live.

RachelRavenRoth · 13/04/2021 20:49

He is very controlling op. Very.

This is a relationship you need to leave.

Peace43 · 13/04/2021 20:50

He’d make me coffee and laugh at my headache

RachelRavenRoth · 13/04/2021 20:50

And to answer your question, my dh would get up with the children and leave me in bed to recover. He’d make me cups of tea when i woke up (as he does every day) and food when requested.

Original poster
Whattodo21 · 13/04/2021 20:51

It's nice that so many of you on here have other halves that will look after you, without stopping you doing things, or making you feel bad for it.
He doesn't have loads of friends and I encourage him to try and maintain contact and make plans with the ones he has. He doesn't usually put any effort in though. I am quite social, which I know bothers him at times.

OP posts:
JofraArchersFastestBall · 13/04/2021 20:52

So you went for a meal with friends, were home before 12 and up as usual this morning?

My DH wouldn't bat an eyelid. What does it matter if you stay on for a couple of drinks after a meal? It would be marginally more understandable if you'd given him a set time and he was worried, or if you'd missed calls and messages... but it sounds like he just doesn't want you to have a nice time.

Twolostsoulsswimminginafishbow · 13/04/2021 20:52

I thought you were going to say it was 4am and he was upset because he was worried. He’s a controlling arse!

tenlittlecygnets · 13/04/2021 20:57

What happens if you ask him why he's angry? Why does he want you at home? Why does he resent you seeing friends (presumably for the first time in ages)?

He sounds selfish, controlling, manipulative and sulky. Not good. You deserve more.

Oneeyeopen · 13/04/2021 21:00

My dh wouldn't particularly want to stay out late drinking etc.
But he would never try to stop me from socialising and was quite happy once the dc were teens to fetch me at midnight and ferry my friends about too.
He would also laugh if I was tipsy and bring me a tea in bed next day if I was feeling a bit hungover.

Sorry op but your dp is mean.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2021 21:02

So what are you going to do? You are married to a controlling man who wants to punish you for seeing people and having fun.

FWIW my DH would laugh at me, take care of DD and pass the Berrocca.