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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...

994 replies

SpringlikeBunk · 11/04/2021 17:05

Come ye all!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Eesha · 14/04/2021 18:12

I also struggle with pictures of me doing stuff! Those from parties are a few years back and pretty much all now are selfies or with my kids! I personally think this impacts me on Hinge as eveyone seems to have perfect, sharp shots of them skydiving etc!

VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 18:35

Photos of me doing stuff you can't see me because I'm all wrapped up to keep warm.

See attached. (I quite like this photo though, someone in my walking group took it last week)

My selfies don't show my dress sense/style ("Vera buys Fat Face") or shape. They literally show my face.

Dating Thread 202: Here's hoping the lockdown loneliness and longing eases up soon...
VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 18:40

I can't do a cute selfie!

Original poster
SpringlikeBunk · 14/04/2021 18:57

@VanGoghsDog

That’s indeed a lovely photo I like the colours.

I really don’t think the cute selfie is obligatory it’s just something I personally am finding is handy “at the right moment”?

I’d unmatch someone who ASKED for photos (as that often leads to asking for nudes!)

but especially if someone is travelling or we’re meeting in advance think it’s good to give some reassurance/encouragement to keep things going?

So my iron who is talking about coming down on Saturday (hour drive for him and he has a full on job) I think a phone call and a selfie was showing enthusiasm in advance?

Or my possible meet MrPerfectMatch Ive sent him a few just as we wouldn’t be able to meet till end this month, and I left tinder soon after exchanging details with him so to remind him!

OP posts:
BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:00

@VanGoghsDog

Photos of me doing stuff you can't see me because I'm all wrapped up to keep warm.

See attached. (I quite like this photo though, someone in my walking group took it last week)

My selfies don't show my dress sense/style ("Vera buys Fat Face") or shape. They literally show my face.

I like that photo too. It's outdoors and chilled and there is a bit of mystery ... what is @VanGoghsDog thinking as she gazes over the horizon ...
VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:05

I'm 52, I'm just not very used to having my photo taken and I hate them all!

There are literally about a dozen photos of me as a child. My parents never had a camera.

I think younger people grew up with more photos being taken so are more used to it.

But I agree it shows a bit of enthusiasm.

I will probably unmatch from the guy who sort of asked me for a full length pic. You're right, it's bound to lead to asking for a nude.

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:09

@VanGoghsDog

I'm 52, I'm just not very used to having my photo taken and I hate them all! There are literally about a dozen photos of me as a child. My parents never had a camera.

I think younger people grew up with more photos being taken so are more used to it.

But I agree it shows a bit of enthusiasm.

I will probably unmatch from the guy who sort of asked me for a full length pic. You're right, it's bound to lead to asking for a nude.

Hmmm. Yes it seems kinda rude and presumptuous

I used to hate selfies too and thought they were just for young people but I've reluctantly embraced them

VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:11

The photo came from me asking the guy who kept taking photos to take one of my "best side - the back", he said, OK, turn around then!

VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:12

I don't hate selfies specifically, I hate all photos of me. Selfies are actually a bit better because you can arrange yourself and discard the first 500+ that you don't like!

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:13

Mr Local, the one I was worried about being a drinker, has very politely asked for a second walking date.

I don't think he and I are a long term prospect however he's local. And has a cool dog. And maybe isn't a drinker just has a lot of drinking anecdotes. Should I say yes?

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:14

@VanGoghsDog

I don't hate selfies specifically, I hate all photos of me. Selfies are actually a bit better because you can arrange yourself and discard the first 500+ that you don't like!
Yes you get to hit delete 🤣
BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:15

@VanGoghsDog

I don't hate selfies specifically, I hate all photos of me. Selfies are actually a bit better because you can arrange yourself and discard the first 500+ that you don't like!
My daughter showed me how to do them. Have you got Portrait mode on your phone? That seems to work quite well for me
VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:20

Dunno, it's a decent phone, so probably. It has three cameras (why??).

I'll do some research. My photos are OK by the way. In that they don't look anything like me. But I should try and get a shot with more body in. I think (and sorry about this) men assume if there's no body showing that you must be overweight. I usually tick the "few extra pounds" box if there is one but in fact I am within the correct BMI for my height and age. Just!

VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:21

Yes, I do have portrait mode. But it says the subject must be two to seven feet away. My arms are not that long!

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:26

@VanGoghsDog

Yes, I do have portrait mode. But it says the subject must be two to seven feet away. My arms are not that long!
I ignore that. It seems to work anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️
cravingthelook · 14/04/2021 19:27

@BelladiMamma - I'll just say I'm not a huge drinker but I have loads of hilarious drinking stories. So give him the benefit of the doubt if you like?

VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 19:30

[quote cravingthelook]@BelladiMamma - I'll just say I'm not a huge drinker but I have loads of hilarious drinking stories. So give him the benefit of the doubt if you like?[/quote]
Oh yes, same! I guess the fact they are stories possibly shows that I don't drink that often or I wouldn't think they were funny stories.

SortingItOut · 14/04/2021 19:31

@JeSuisPrest I shouldn't have assumed but how great to have another tradesman - and they generally have friends in all trades, so helpful if you need work doing🤣

I'm glad you're really happy, you definitely deserve it.

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:41

@VanGoghsDog @cravingthelook
Yes, agreed. And the next date suggestion is alcohol free so that's a good sign ...

Onesmallstep67 · 14/04/2021 19:49

I made a point of including a full length photo so the guys I was chatting to knew what my proportions were - short and full figured. That way there were no shocks in store when we met. I have been accused in the past of having a bit of a chip on my shoulder about fat shaming but it's something that people still feel is okay to use as an insult. By and large - no pun intended- I absolutely never struggled to get interest whilst on the apps. It was quite a boost at times. If someone has an issue with your face or your backside then they're clearly not the one for you. Every pot has it's lid.

Invisiblewoman1 · 14/04/2021 19:56

Advice please- my mr potential has not replied since Sunday. Should I unmatch and if so when?

BelladiMamma · 14/04/2021 19:58

@Invisiblewoman1

Advice please- my mr potential has not replied since Sunday. Should I unmatch and if so when?
Grr 😠 that's annoying

What was the last message about?

Would you unmatch from him for any other reason?

Original poster
SpringlikeBunk · 14/04/2021 20:01

@Invisiblewoman1

It does seem a bit too much like hard work - I don’t really bother unmatching unless they’re been rude or offensive I just let the chats sit there

can you just not contact him again? Unmatch if you want to clear your inbox

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 14/04/2021 20:06

I don't bother unmatching. I leave the conversation with my message as the last message hanging there .....

Sometimes I clear the message list up and get rid of the useless ones.

MrNormal has unmatched me. It's a bit odd. In the middle of a conversation, we were talking about House Of Games and he said he had a crush on one of the contestants and I said I'd never heard of her until the show but she was coming across a bit thick. Next thing I know, he's gone. Obviously offended on behalf of some z list celebrity!

I had four new matches on Tinder today. Two are chatting a bit, not that easy though.

Heartbeats0708 · 14/04/2021 20:25

I think it was @UtterSocks that asked about my date with Mr Polo (sorry if I've got mixed up!). It went well and he's wonderful company. Just not do good at the talking in between and I'm not used to it! I'm not bothered for back and forth all day but it's somehow a bit of a transactional exchange.
We've both said we'd like to see each other again but our schedules are tricky. I'm not sure where he sees it going, if anywhere, but way too early to ask. So I will keep dating and TRY not to overinvest! Catching up on thread now.