What's the issue here? Him or me?

[Likeohmygod]

I get enraged at my dp all the time because he says words wrong..words that he previously got right, I correct him gently time and time again and he doesn't get it..then I get enraged and will walk off when he keeps getting it wrong. He says more and more stuff wrong all the time. His sentences are are jumbled. He's says he's not clever but he is..just not with basic reception level grammar. It's his first and only language.
People literally take the piss out of him for the way he talks and sometimes I even have to translate to people what he's trying to say.
Why is he like this?

And before anyone says, I know I'm wrong to get angry, I've spent years calmly trying to help with how he speaks but nothing changes and now I resent it that my dc learn how to construct sentences but he can't do that same. My dc are copying the way he speaks and I want them away from him as they do extremely well at school.

I have no patience for this anymore. I want him to try to speak properly. Its not accent or dialogue or slang..he'll literally say things like "I end up walking to the shop" instead of ended. Then the week after there's a new word he's saying incorrectly. This morning he said " I eat too much this mornign" instead of ate. What's going on with him?

I have autism, (I’m not saying your dh does) and I struggle to put my words in the correct order, sometimes get it right and other times it goes horribly wrong and I will be greeted with raised eyebrows!
Definitely push for a GP appointment, maybe he has a communication or language difficulty or a undiagnosed medical condition. Can’t you just book him in and tell him he is going to the doctor?

This can't be real. No one could be this horrible about their other half, surely? 😭

Op,

I agree with others that if there's a sudden decline in his spoken language he needs to be checked out.

Otherwise, is it just something you've tuned into more because of lockdown and your children also drawing attention to it? In which case you can manage your reaction to it.

I do wonder how you lived with it in the all the years you've been together , which suggests to me the change is with your patience and not with him?

I don't think its helpful ppl telling you how awful you're being, as you've clearly acknowledged that its an undesirable trait of yours and are seeking advice and support.

I find my words get mixed up or mangled when I'm under a lot of stress, experiencing bad anxiety etc. Do you think there's such a link for your husband?

At the end of the day, if he hasn't had a bump to the head or anything else that suggests there's a medical reason, its just the way he is and for your sanity and his own you need to find a way to let it go. As others have said, the more you criticise it the more its likely occur.

Good luck

Something like this?

Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA) is a neurological syndrome in which language capabilities become slowly and progressively impaired. Unlike other forms of aphasia that result from stroke or brain injury, PPA is caused by neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer's Disease or Frontotemporal Lobar Degeneration.
www.aphasia.org › primary-p...
Primary Progressive Aphasia - National Aphasia Association

First signs

The first symptoms of the disease may include speech problems and behavioral changes. Speech problems may include difficulty naming objects, difficulty forming words, frequent pauses in speech, slow speech, difficulty comprehending speech, and problems with grammar.

"I can't understand, why is he going that way?"

"I can't understand why he is going that way"

Both sentences work perfectly fine.

The UK class system is strong on this one & OP sounds deeply unpleasant.

Your grammar isn’t very good at all. Maybe you are projecting. Stop criticising him.

People with dyslexia sometimes use the wrong word in a sentence. The word they pick sounds very like the correct word but they get mixed up. I haven't noticed them use bad grammar. Have dyslexia in the family.
Children with a language disorder are getting picked up more in school now and your dh could have missed out on a diagnosis years ago as there wasn't as much knowledge then.
It's like it has become a bit of an obsession with you as all the examples are not good bad and his meaning is perfectly understandable.
What way does his family speak?

Not too bad. We all make mistakes!

OP when I was small my parents moved from Manchester to Australia. On my first day of school in Australia one of the nuns called me aside and asked the spelling of my surname, to write with marker on my library bag. The trouble was she couldn't understand my Manc accent, so spelt it completely wrong. She screamed at me, threatened to expel me etc and for years I had a fear of speaking to people I didn't know well at school. Something similar possible with your DH? Does he make mistakes speaking to other people or just you?

[quote Likeohmygod]@bluejelly I never did before the dc but they are picking up on how he speaks and I don't want them to.[/quote]
I understand your frustration but it sounds to me as though your husband has a type of verbal dyslexia, in which case there is nothing to be done. The best thing would be not to get cross but to encourage him to think before he speaks and speak slowly so he doesn't fall over his words.

If he is good in most respects, is this really an issue over which you would part from him? That sounds extreme.

Your children have no excuse; generally, if parents don't speak well, children will speak better than them. They may be taking the mick, don't let them but at the same time, don't be angry because they will do it more just for the sake of it. Just set an example.

Sorry about the two 'justs' in quick succession.

OP early dimentia possibly?
He doesn't sound nasty from what you say.
You taking it personally might not be helpful either.
You really don't seem very caring.
It's not all about you. He's your DC's father.
You don't have to stay with him but the least you can do is care.

I can’t see why you would need to ‘parent him’ for this. Personally, if you can’t think of some anger management techniques, then I don’t see why you should expect him to he addressing this, his seems like a condition and one is just you! I can perfectly understand why he can’t talk to you, and seems he manages with other people. Perhaps you could take yourself off to therapy and fix your attitude before you expect other people to fix themselves instead of you having to have any self awareness? I would in your place like him to go to a doctor, but think you need to do some thinking on your approach before asking again. Are your dc old enough to have a chat to one that it worries you and you would like him to see a gp- better safe than sorry? Or perhaps his parents or siblings if he has any?

Focus on the content of what people say rather than how they say it. Some of the most eloquent people in the world have very little to say. I can understand your frustration but really the sort of people who truly care about how people talk rather than what they are saying are not worth knowing. I am very academic (currently finishing my PhD) my partner is not and sometimes speaks in a similar way to what you describe, but does it really matter? The sort of people who correct a person’s grammar or spelling to put them down in an online debate are, in my opinion, the one who automatically loses the argument. It’s what we have to say that matters, not how we say it. I understand correcting your children, but try to let it go a little. Is it a regional thing? With my partner it is, and lots of his friends talk in a similar way. It comes out more after a drink or if he’s been hanging out with certain people for the day.

I trip over my words a lot and get tongue tied, I'm just a very nervous and anxious person. If I was around someone as nasty as you I'd be ten times worse.

Verbal dyspraxia? I would imagine that would become worse under pressure too.

Your examples are very mild and there is nothing wrong with the last one, it works.

I don’t understand why you’re attacking him for this, when you’re struggling to give any form of decent example

If you just don’t like him and he annoys you then end it. But don’t move to bullying like this. It is not ok.

OP does your partner interact with lots of different people to you? Possibly quite a few who are bilingual or who speak English as a second language?
One possibility is that he’s picking up on language features used by others around him. This is called ´accommodation’ and everyone does it to some extent.
Your first couple of examples are where he’s used the present tense instead of the past tense. It’s really normal to do this is many languages and in fact lots or people do it in English when they are recounting a story of something that happened to them. The last example he has inverted the verb and the subject (is and he) in a question. In lots of languages this is how questions form are formed.

He said earlier whilst watching football.." I can't understand why is he going that way" so words are in the wrong order for example but last month he would've said it correctly

Why is this in the wrong “order”?

Could the issue be you are the one with the language problem and don’t realise? Your posts show you possibly struggle. Is there a potential the issue is your language capabilities?

There’s nothing wrong with what he said when he was watching football

You’re not supportive at all. I’m in a similar position to you. I wouldn’t dream of correcting them.

Imagine if he started pointing out everything he didn’t like about you.

Either learn to ignore it or leave.

BTW you spelt morning wrong in one of your posts. Seeing as you’re so fucking critical.

I'll look up verbal dyspraxia and aphasia. Thank you.
I do have anger management issues when it comes to this definitely, which is why I walk away.
He speaks like this in front of everyone not just me. People make fun of it. Sometimes people don't get what he's saying at all and i have to tell them what he means.
We're all brought up in the same town so it's not a regional thing.

This makes no sense op.

Who is making fun of him? And why are you struggling to give any decent example?

I'd say it's you whose the problem, not him. If you don't like him anymore, do him a favour and leave.
I don't see anything wrong with how he is speaking, you can understand what he means with the examples you've given.
And if people make fun of him, I hope you're sticking up for him, you sound very unsupportive.

The fact you think his foot ball comment was worded in the wrong order indicates you are the one who has an issue with language and not him, but you don’t understand it’s you.

There is nothing wrong with what he said and the words are in the correct order. However you cannot see that. You thought he worded it incorrectly.

I would explore the potential it’s your language capabilities which are declining. I mean that gently but from your examples and posts it would appear he is not the one with the language issues.