What's the issue here? Him or me?

[Likeohmygod]

I get enraged at my dp all the time because he says words wrong..words that he previously got right, I correct him gently time and time again and he doesn't get it..then I get enraged and will walk off when he keeps getting it wrong. He says more and more stuff wrong all the time. His sentences are are jumbled. He's says he's not clever but he is..just not with basic reception level grammar. It's his first and only language.
People literally take the piss out of him for the way he talks and sometimes I even have to translate to people what he's trying to say.
Why is he like this?

And before anyone says, I know I'm wrong to get angry, I've spent years calmly trying to help with how he speaks but nothing changes and now I resent it that my dc learn how to construct sentences but he can't do that same. My dc are copying the way he speaks and I want them away from him as they do extremely well at school.

I have no patience for this anymore. I want him to try to speak properly. Its not accent or dialogue or slang..he'll literally say things like "I end up walking to the shop" instead of ended. Then the week after there's a new word he's saying incorrectly. This morning he said " I eat too much this mornign" instead of ate. What's going on with him?

Could you give us some examples OP?

It’s hard to work out what’s going on. I thought he might be a bit dim but you say he’s a clever man.

Not being pedantic at all. And it's much more than saying pillows for cushions etc..
I wouldn't even notice if he did that.
He said earlier whilst watching football.." I can't understand why is he going that way" so words are in the wrong order for example but last month he would've said it correctly. And my 4 year old would say it correctly so why can't he??

If you’ve been worried for years, has he got better, worse or stayed the same?

He’s not dyslexic?

@feeficken you could be right about that.
Sometimes I dread what he's going to say wrong as I know it pisses me off and maybe he feels exactly the same.

To be honest with a comma and a question mark that sentence still works.

Hes gotten worse.
He doesn't seem to be dyslexic no from what I've read.

You would hate my husband he has just called the PM Joris bonson and ask him to day Bohenium rapsedy and I'm splitting my sides laughing

Do I think any less of him - NO
Poor bloke might be nervous with you breathing down his neck you sound a bit full on

@LouiseTrees yes it would but that's not the way he said it. There was no pause.

Was that perhaps posed as a question rather than a statement.

"I can't understand, why is he going that way?"

Seriously medical check all the way he might have a problem with his brain

I agree what everyone's said about me. But I cant help that it infuriates me that he won't do anything about it.

I don’t see the issue with your latest example.
You are being a complete bitch about it to be honest, I get words/sentences wrong, I had speech therapy as a child but still struggle when tired/anxious/stressed.
You had DC with him knowing this. Bit late now to find it a problem. If he is getting worse it is probably symptomatic of something. It’s a shame you are angry instead of concerned. I know living with that would make me worse.

I agree what everyone's said about me.

😱😱 need to sort your grammar out there before you start getting angry with yourself.

When he's being engaging with other people, is it as bad? Is it just that they don't care? Or is he more articulate when relaxed?

Your examples are quite mild. It could just be a quirk of his. My mother has always mixed up words and said things back to front but we don’t take any notice. In her case I think it’s a stress/anxiety problem.

This dynamic will not change until you both have a serious discussion and a heart to heart about this. You are pre-empting that he will say something wrong and he is pre-empting getting a ticking off for it and so both your backs are up before a word is even said.

Look up Aphasia.

@Likeohmygod

Also I don't know if this is connected but I cant have a conversation with him..I try all the time as I'm so damn lonely but its like talking to a brick wall..he will grunt or nod his head but its never a two way conversation. Its like he cannot engage. He's not stupid, he's very skilled at what he does and he can build a rapport with people in seconds whereas I take years literally to connect with someone. But conversations with me and people he's known for years are one sided. It's like he gives up with us.

I won't be surprised if it is connected. I wouldn't want any conversation with you if you're correcting him and getting enraged with him for how he speaks.

If it was him getting enraged with you for this you'd be told he's being abusive. I can't imagine not being able to be yourself in your home because your spouse goes off the handle.

I hope your children aren't witnessing your enraged moods, if they are, you might want to look at what you're teaching them. Hearing their Dad say "I end up going to the shop" is nothing compared to seeing their mother speak to their dad like shit.

People in glass houses...

Language disorders are incredibly common and affect people in a variety of ways. Mutism is one way people who have language disorders cope - that is, they decide not to speak in certain situations. This can be a conscious or unconscious decision. This could explain why your DH is able to strike up conversations with strangers but won't talk to you.

I'd also rather my DC's speech was muddled rather than mean.

My god do you not think that he could have a learning disability ( FYI people with them are not stupid as you've ruled that out because he isn't stupid).

And I wouldn't want a conversation with you either I think you need to take a step back and look at yourself ( maybe take an anger management course) before you start criticising other people I'm sure your not perfect.

Ok if his speech has dramatically changed, probably a good idea for a health check, but I agree with some other posters, you sound a bit snobby in that he's not always using good English.

My first thought was maybe he's doing on purpose to wind you up - my DP would do this as a joke

My second thought following a couple of your updates was that your continuous 'corrections' are making him so self conscious that he make nervous errors.

My third thought was 'Give the guy a break, seriously, give the guy a fucking break.'

Maybe going out on a limb here - but I think you're the problem here not your DH. The last example you gave was a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Our spontaneous speech isn't rehearsed - sometimes words are in the wrong order, tenses are mixed etc. In fact none of the examples you give are anything other than fine. Maybe not the most eloquent speech but perfectly fine.

Let's be honest - your written language isn't perfect "He's gotten worse", isn't to the same level as Shakespeare, so why should your DH's spoken language.

Leave the man be. Work on communication, not linguistic pedantry. You claim you're not a pedant, but from the examples you provide, you most certainly are. I think if you were to get your DH into a GP's surgery and explained 'the problem', the GP would using you as a case study of the crazy things people go to their GPs for. I would certainly love to be a fly on the wall for that consultation

Doctor How can I help you today Mr & Mrs Likeohmygod ?

You Well doctor, my husband is speaking without commas and
pauses, sometime he grunts when I speak to him or misuses
verb tenses. I'm constantly having to correct his speech, but
he never improves

Seriously, leave the man be. As for your children copying him - have you considered they maybe are using standard speech patterns and that you are the one out of kilter?