I have been dating a man for a couple of months now and things were going really well. We’ve been on several dates and I felt I could really laugh with this man, there’s no awkwardness and we always have a good time. He sends really lovely texts in the mornings and has recently been saying things like how he’s excited for us to do things when places open again, and how he feels really happy. I’ve felt really comfortable and happy with the pace and I do believe he is really into me. From the beginning, we have both been clear we both want a relationship, and I’ve been developing feelings.
Last week, I met a few of his friends for a socially distant picnic. He was saying about how excited he is to introduce me to them as he thinks I would fit in perfectly. And I had a really nice time!
We had plans to meet yesterday and he texted me in the morning saying he couldn’t wait to see me 🥰
We met up and I instantly knew he was completely different. He seemed very quiet, down and a bit funny with me. But we went on our walk and to grab a bite to eat and I had a nice time with him. He was being off but was still holding my hand, giving me hugs etc. I excitedly gave him some ideas of what we could do on the weekend and he agreed to them all. We also went to the shop to buy some drinks for the evening.
Later in the day, I ask if everything is okay as he was being really unresponsive. He says “yes, absolutely, nothing at all”. Then, out of nowhere he comes out with “I’m not ready for anything”. Of course I was shocked and reacted to this, saying he was acting like he was ready, said all these things to me and has basically gone from 100 to 0.
He said he isn’t over his ex and me being at the picnic just made him think of her doing all those things, and he isn’t ready for anyone to fill that gap - he was adamant it was nothing to do with me.
He seemed so unsure about things and it was all so sudden, he said some contradictory things, and said his “head was f**ked” and he seemed very anxious:
- He let me go to the shop and buy food for the evening, and excitedly plan the weekend, when apparently he knew all day that this all wasn’t going to happen, but “didn’t want to upset me”. But he only told me when I asked if he was okay. He said he “wanted to take the day to think/see”. Now I feel like if I didn’t ask, things might be okay? ☹️ He said me asking made him realise I wasn’t happy with how he was being, and that this wasn’t good to continue.
- He said at first he was really unsure and maybe we can still FaceTime tonight. He then decided suddenly that he 100% does not want to speak to anyone - never wants to speak to me or hear from me again.
- He texted me that same morning saying he couldn’t wait to see me and was so enthusiastic.
- He said everything about me is perfect for him and he couldn’t have found a better match for him, but he wants to cut me off.
This has been so hard for me to hear and the biggest shock, especially as it seemed to be him pushing towards a relationship and, a matter of days ago, telling me he’d never been so happy, he sees me in his future and he can’t wait to get to know me even better.
He was very teary as I left and said he was disappointed in himself but knows he needs time for himself. He seemed so unsure about everything he was saying but we said goodbye and now I am devastated.
I’m very teary this morning as it feels so weird going from so much to never hearing from someone again and I’m finding it hard to adjust to him not calling or texting this morning. What do people make of this and what do I do? ☹️
