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Original poster

I am CEV dp doesn’t want vaccine....

148 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 01/04/2021 23:05

I am extremely clinically vulnerable. Had my first vaccine begin of April. Because of my condition we already know the vaccine probably won’t work on me. DP has been very supportive of me shielding for over a year. But he doesn’t want vaccine! He can have it now well before he would be normally qualify. He is a bit anti vaccine!

Am I wrong to feel a bit miffed?!!

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/04/2021 16:33

If it were just the two of you, I’d ask him to move out.

However given there are three children that are far more likely to bring the virus home than he is so it’s only a small part of the overall risk.

PuppyMonkey · 02/04/2021 16:40

Sorry, he sounds like a knob.

Carbara · 02/04/2021 17:27

Whose house is it? Do you rely on him financially despite not having the legal protections of marriage?
You write a whole lot of ‘he said, he thinks, he wants’, what do you want?

Twoforthree · 02/04/2021 17:51

So he doesn't know the effect of the vaccine in the future, but he also doesnt know the effect of long covid on his body. Both are unknown risks but one is more known than the other. I know which risk I'd rather take.

LonginesPrime · 02/04/2021 17:53

He feels that it’s not safe as no one knows how it will affect our bodies in years to come.

What exactly is he worried is going to happen to him several years after having been vaccinated? Does he believe that the vaccine being injected is actually a Covid vaccine?

He said even if he gets the vaccine his life isn’t going to change at all, we will still be shielding and going nowhere and seeing nobody

Does he understand that you want him to have the vaccine to protect your health, not so you can all go out partying?

Sorry OP, but it kind of sounds like he resents having to shield to protect you. It's not great, is it?

GoWalkabout · 02/04/2021 17:57

He's scared then. It's like being scared of climbing down a ladder when you have to help your loved ones escape a burning building
though.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/04/2021 18:40

@Workinghardeveryday the Oxford vaccines is pretty effective at preventing transmission.
He really isn’t the sharpest tool in the box if he thinks the a Covid vaccines are any different to any other vaccine in terms of safety.

CatpissEverdine · 02/04/2021 18:59

I worked with many pharma companies in change management and worked across all divisions, particularly in Pricing Strategy. I was at both AZ and Pfizer and also got to know many of their higher level directors in R&D. I was led to believe that a CV titre is different to that of a rhinovirus, for instance. I know that AZ are selling at cost BUT they are not having to shell out any money on lawsuits should anything go wrong which has been a big part of their budget (not as big as Pfizer's though) and factored into their pricing. It's not what it seems. Scientists working on vaccine development are doing this for the good of the population but this one has been rushed through and it's very plainly said that the vaccine is still in trial and is experimental - hence the indemnity of organisations against having to pay out for damages. I have probably said it all wrong but I am not going to get myself and kids vaccinated against something which is so little understood. I would also be very hesitant to have it if I was planning on starting a family

LonginesPrime · 02/04/2021 19:08

Scientists working on vaccine development are doing this for the good of the population but this one has been rushed through and it's very plainly said that the vaccine is still in trial and is experimental - hence the indemnity of organisations against having to pay out for damages

Well, that's because we're in the middle of a global pandemic and it's needed urgently - they obviously don't have the time to spend on testing that they normally would, as this is not a normal situation.

It makes perfect sense that the companies would be indemnified against legal claims under these circumstances, otherwise it would take ages to get a vaccine programme rolled out because it would be down to the individual private companies to decide when they were happy with the risk of claims being low enough for the vaccine to be profitable for them.

Should you really be commenting on these companies' confidential contracts Catpiss? Seems like a huge (and potentially dangerous) breach of confidentiality.

PinkiOcelot · 02/04/2021 19:11

@Regularsizedrudy what an absolutely pathetic comment!!

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 02/04/2021 19:13

@Carbara we both own the house and it wouldn’t be affordable for me to run it on my own.

@LonginesPrime he isn’t sure what the long term effects will be, possibly cancer etc. He does understand it’s to protect my health but I suppose he is resentful of being ‘forced’ when it’s something he really doesn’t want to have.

I have said over and over it’s totally his choice and the reason I wanted to chat about it was not to argue but sort of have a debate about it, and that I could understand his thoughts. I even read out all the posts from this thread so he could see what other people have to say - just annoyed him snd he became defensive.

I really don’t want to make him and I never would. I just don’t accept his rationale about it I suppose. If we were all healthy then yes, but I do feel like he is being very selfish for not protecting me when he could. But that in turn makes me feel extremely selfish for expecting him to when he doesn’t want to!!

OP posts:
CatpissEverdine · 02/04/2021 19:20

@LonginesPrime this isn't any breach of confidentiality at all. It's all out in public and the people aren't named or still employees of those organisations. What you have said is very valid. I am just not happy with being part of a mass experiment really. I was just trying to make the OP feel better about her partner. I kind of feel like I am having to defend myself. Again. Every time I voice concerns. Is nobody else a little bit worried?

LonginesPrime · 02/04/2021 19:21

I do feel like he is being very selfish for not protecting me when he could. But that in turn makes me feel extremely selfish for expecting him to when he doesn’t want to!!

Yes, it definitely sounds like a difficult one, OP, especially as everyone has their own attitude to risk on top of the beliefs about vaccines/Covid, etc.

I can see why he felt pressured if you told him about this thread - it's a load of people judging him for something he doesn't want to do to his body.

Assuming he understands the risk to you and understands that if you end up seriously ill in hospital or worse, he's going to be alone handling everything, there's not much more you can do - it's just a case of working out how to minimise the risk to your health and what your risk appetite to share a space with him is.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/04/2021 19:26

I would also be very hesitant to have it if I was planning on starting a family
Right because Mr/Mrs X said on Facebook it affects your fertility so it must be true. The ignorance of the general population is astounding.

LonginesPrime · 02/04/2021 19:28

Catpiss no, I get that it's experimental and I can see why you're wary. I don't think anyone is jumping at the prospect of being injected with new vaccines at a moment's notice - the way I see it, it's the best chance we've got, so I'm happy to have been vaccinated on that basis.

Re confidentiality, I meant about the indemnities in the contacts as they're usually confidential, but I see that they have been made public so ignore me on that front!

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 19:29

It's entirely up to him what he does with his body. Entirely up to the rest of us if we want to think he's probably a bit self-centred, short-sighted, paranoid or innumerate. And entirely up to the OP to decide whether to expose herself to unneeded risk by continuing to be around him.

QueenPaw · 02/04/2021 19:33

What @CurseMyTinyThumbs said ^^
I'm CEV, my new partner isn't particularly high risk for complications etc but he is having the vaccine for me, and other people. Because I don't know if the vaccine has worked for me due to my condition

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 19:37

I am just not happy with being part of a mass experiment really

Let's take out the "mass" part for a second. How would you feel if, instead of a large-scale thing, it was a preventative treatment being offered to you on a bespoke basis, with the same associated increases in some risks and decreases in other risks?

I have a feeling that the fact that this is part of a huge programme involving millions of people being treated is triggering something in human psychology, about wanting to be treated as an individual, as special, etc., and a fear of being seen as inconsequential and disposable.

WithTheJonses · 02/04/2021 19:37

Why does it bother you so much???

Do people not realise that it doesn't stop you getting it or passing it on?!

It only lessens the symptoms if he did get it.

His body his choice. He said he doesn't want it to leave him be.

QueenPaw · 02/04/2021 19:38

@WithTheJonses it DOES reduce transmission so yes, that's why she's bothered

Frownette · 02/04/2021 19:38

@CatpissEverdine a bit worried but at the same time don't want this to go on much longer or any more loved ones to die of this.

OP I guess you'll have to see if he changes his mind in the future but not put pressure on.

CovidCorvid · 02/04/2021 20:02

Dd s vulnerable. She’s had the vaccine, so have i, so has dh.

I’d do anything to protect people I loved even if I had personal reservations.

CharlotteRose90 · 03/04/2021 01:02

He’s doing nothing wrong. He doesn’t want it so shouldn’t be forced. I’m CEV myself and have had the vaccine only because of my health condition. My partner isn’t having the vaccine and I won’t force him. Just take precautions. Honestly if I didn’t have my Health condition I wouldn’t have had the vaccine. I get it is to protect but at some point everyone will get the virus and if you have had both your jabs you shouldn’t get it as bad.

CharlotteRose90 · 03/04/2021 01:05

Oh and as for calling him selfish nope. What would happen if you forced him to have the vaccine and god forbid he became ill. I was so ill after my first dose that I’m now not aloud the second one. It sucks but I wouldn’t break up a marriage over it.

AlexaShutUp · 03/04/2021 01:11

Do people not realise that it doesn't stop you getting it or passing it on?!

Why do people keep saying this? Are they deliberately trying to spread misinformation, or do they just not keep up to date with the news?