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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I am CEV dp doesn’t want vaccine....

148 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 01/04/2021 23:05

I am extremely clinically vulnerable. Had my first vaccine begin of April. Because of my condition we already know the vaccine probably won’t work on me. DP has been very supportive of me shielding for over a year. But he doesn’t want vaccine! He can have it now well before he would be normally qualify. He is a bit anti vaccine!

Am I wrong to feel a bit miffed?!!

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 02/04/2021 00:40

Good for him @Confuzzlediddled. This is what any rational person would do.

HollowTalk · 02/04/2021 00:47

I'm really sorry but I think you are going to have to break it to him that he has already had several vaccinations!

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 02/04/2021 00:53

I know lol. It’s so ridiculous. I will try and talk to him tomorrow when he is in a better mood....
he has made me feel like I am manipulative, he said so much, yet all I did is ask a question, he just didn’t like the question because it made him question his own beliefs!! Think I just need to accept he isn’t going to have it 🙄. Just seems so stupid to me!!

OP posts:
DancesWithCatsnDogs · 02/04/2021 01:11

So he's not going to work, out shopping or will see any friends while corona is still around? He does realise that it hasn't gone away?

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 02/04/2021 01:16

He works on his own in the middle of nowhere, only started going to shops recently. I just don’t know what to say to get it though his head. He also made a comment along the lines of everyone else has it he doesn’t need to!!

OP posts:
OysterMonkey · 02/04/2021 01:28

Assuming he decides not to have the vaccine, I also assume he will not avail himself of the NHS if he subsequently gets Covid?

Or would he like to keep that option open? Just in case.

Twoforthree · 02/04/2021 01:46

Have your children been vaccinated?

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 02/04/2021 08:43

Yes all kids vaccinated and he has no issues with this. I will remind him he actually has been vaccinated as a child...
I think he thinks Covid itself is a way of controlling everyone for some other reason we will never know, the vaccine is all part of this. He knows Covid is real and very dangerous and killing people, but I think he thinks it was started purposely for this reason we don’t know. Maybe the Illuminati or something. He has lots of reasons to back this idea up, can’t remember them all but one was stocks and shares. Where say something was worth 1p a share (I have no idea about these things so just for example) just before Covid loads of big companies bought a lot of them for no reason, then due to Covid they are now worth like £10 a share

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 02/04/2021 10:51

He might not have been vaccinated as a child especially as his mum has the same ideas as him. 1968 until the late 80's there was a drop.
peopleshistorynhs.org/encyclopaedia/childhood-vaccination-and-the-nhs/

AlexaShutUp · 02/04/2021 10:55

He also made a comment along the lines of everyone else has it he doesn’t need to!!

What if a significant proportion of the population buy into the same stupid conspiracy theories as him?

The point of mass vaccination is to protect those who cannot be effectively vaccinated, not those who won't. It's ironic that he doesn't see this when his own partner is one of those for whom the vaccine probably won't work.

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 02/04/2021 10:57

No he has had them, I remember his mum saying. The only vaccine they have an issue with is the Covid one.
He is saying last night he was moody because I am saying it’s his decision to have it yet I am questioning why he isn’t so I am manipulating him into having it! - what do you say to that, I can’t even discuss it but I feel I have a right to!

OP posts:
CatpissEverdine · 02/04/2021 11:24

Am I the only person here who wonders why you are all calling him a 'conspiracy theorist'? I am also very reluctant to have the vaccine and have been called 'selfish' and 'misinformed' by colleagues and even friends. I have also been labelled as an anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theorist. My kids have all been vaccinated with DTP, MMR etc so I am not. I don't really see how OP's partner not receiving the vaccine will harm her if she has been vaccinated? It is a jab to lessen the severity of viral infection. Her kids are more likely to bring it home and then - if the vaccine works - she should be protected against the worse of Covid symptoms, surely, or else what is the point of the jab? My reason for being sceptical about the jab is that I have worked extensively with food, pharma and tobacco companies for years and know the huge amount of trial and research involved to get anything passed by regulatory bodies and this simply has not had enough research. Also - from day 1 of the Covid outbreak in China, there was talk of a vaccine being rushed through. There is something very odd about this outbreak which doesn't sit right with me. I wish we would all stop labelling each other things like 'dumb-dumbs' if we don't believe exactly what we are told by people in authority. I think OP is being very considered and tolerant of her partner, btw. I am preparing my TIN FOIL HAT in order to be flamed

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 11:31

I don't really see how OP's partner not receiving the vaccine will harm her if she has been vaccinated?

OP has a condition which means the vaccine she has had may not work very well for her. So she needs to reduce potential exposure to the virus as much as possible. One way to do that is for the people she lives with to be vaccinated, which reduces the risk that they will transmit Covid to her.

CatpissEverdine · 02/04/2021 11:35

Does the vaccine reduce viral load, thus reducing the ability to transmit coronavirus to someone in your household? Genuine question! The only person able to answer any of my questions about this vaccine has been a couple of R&D virologists from some of the bigger pharma companies that I used to work with. Everyone else just seems to rabbit what they have heard on the news

canigooutyet · 02/04/2021 11:41

I would drop it for a few days.
Although I would be vexed if my partner told me I had free choice but kept questioning the decision. He would be told to go fuck himself and to come here so I can inject him with meds he doesn't want.

Even if I could have it I would wait especially because of what's been turning up over the past couple of weeks - vipit - and the potential 6 month booster.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 11:42

[[https://www.ecdc.europa.eu/sites/default/files/documents/Risk-of-transmission-and-reinfection-of-SARS-CoV-2-following-vaccination.pdf]] technical report from the ECDC should answer your questions. Relevant info from the summary is that current evidence suggests "vaccination of a household member reduces the risk of infection in susceptible household members by at least 30%".

Brunt0n · 02/04/2021 11:42

I wouldn’t be with someone so stupid

CatpissEverdine · 02/04/2021 12:01

Thanks @CurseMyTinyThumbs I shall have a look

pointythings · 02/04/2021 12:16

I wouldn't share my life with a conspiracy theorist, but that ship has sailed. And sorry to be blunt, but people who believe that the virus is part of a giant conspiracy and people who believe the vaccines haven't gone through proper research processes are indeed stupid. I worked in health research for 12 years so I've been up close and personal with the process these vaccines have gone through. I volunteered for the trials running in my NHS Trust (wasn't picked because not the right demographic and front line were prioritised).

canigooutyet · 02/04/2021 12:19

How many vaccines have been rolled out whilst official trials are still ongoing?

And thanks for the link. Very informative.

Goleor · 02/04/2021 12:24

I'm cev and refused the vaccine when I was offered it in january and when the time comes it will be 100% my dp choice what he does.

HollowTalk · 02/04/2021 12:26

@Goleor, can you explain why you've refused the vaccine? Do you think everyone should refuse it? If so how do you think we will get rid of Covid?

If you went into hospital for something unrelated, would you prefer it if the medics there were vaccinated or wouldn't it bother you? Can you explain why?

I've never met anyone who wouldn't vaccinate, so am very interested in your reasons for it.

munchiemunch · 02/04/2021 12:29

He could kill you. It’s that simple. Unless he is isolating 24/7? If he’s not then what’s the deal here? He cannot guarantee he won’t get infected. If he was married to me then it would be fine because I’m fit and healthy so if he passed on the virus the chances are I’d survive. The chances are you won’t.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/04/2021 12:30

He is otherwise great... other than risking his wife being seriously ill or worse. Yes he sounds lovely.