Gut feeling husband is going to leave me soon.

[Blackcat88]

I feel somewhat silly for writing this as I’m genuinely not sure what to think and haven’t been in this situation with him before. For some months I’ve noticed my DH has distanced himself from me quite a bit and has missed big events (in our relationship) like valentines, Mother’s Day etc. I feel like he’s been avoiding me and not making any effort anymore. He’s locked down his social media too, as I called out the fact he had randomly started following A number of women on SM which generally wasn’t a problem but the amount in a short space of time was. I have the gut feeling it’s someone from work as he has stopped texting me on breaks etc (which he always did before) and I found pictures of me in his recently deleted folder in his phone so there are no pictures of me in there anymore.

I’ve found he’s blowing up over the silliest things. He makes minimal eye contact and often comes home from his night shift and instead of getting into bed for a cuddle like he used to (before the kids get me up) he’ll stay downstairs, and go up when we’re up and often be up there for some time awake etc. It feels almost like resentment.

He’s working an increasing amount of overtime and seems to have no time for me anymore.

Hope you're ok, OP.

Did you go to your mums?
I'm hoping that if you managed to get his phone there isn't anything too devastating on there.

Google timeline - if he’s logged into google on his phone it shows where he has Been

Archived chats on what’s app - you can take them in and out of view - scroll down or up depending on the phone type

I’m confused - how can you open his phone without a password? And if it’s an email account why do you need his phone to access it? If you know the log in can’t you log in remotely?

Anyway, be careful what look for - you can’t unsee some things....if you already know it’s over stop at just one bit of proof

Either said than done though. I actually got a real adrenaline rush the more I discovered, very strange. Of course it wore off but I remember than night very well... waiting for him to go to bed ... instinct is amazing isn’t it

@PearsandPartridge @WallaceinAnderland
I thought op said it was the same email address he used for Instagram and Snapchat, so I think maybe that way

It sounds like he might suspect you're on to him? Possibly has had a notification you've logged into something or he knows you've posted on here. Random flowers and wanting sex = I smell a rat.

No, she was clear that it was a new one she discovered:

Wow girls I’ve found some things out tonight whilst he’s at work!

He has a secret email hes locked down very well! With his old number as a security question (luckily my sister had an old text from this number) and is linked with his new phone. Tomorrow when he’s in bed I’m going to make sure I get the phone and access this email and I’m certain this is where they’re talking.

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Add message | Report | Message poster | QuoteBlackcat88 Thu 01-Apr-21 00:32:54
Absolutely shocked! I know every email address he has and this one is completely different and quite formal too which makes me think work affair

And then she saw that he had signed up to Insta and Snapchat using that email.

What we are wondering is how she discovered the email address.

Hope you are ok op.

@WallaceinAnderland

And then she saw that he had signed up to Insta and Snapchat using that email.

What we are wondering is how she discovered the email address.

I saw you @WallaceinAnderland 😉 prompted me to try my luck as I'm intrigued 🙄🤔

V

Not sure if anyone else has suggested this but if he has an iPhone go onto settings - search location services - click system services - then significant locations and if it’s turned on it will show you everywhere he’s been and at what date/time
Good luck, I hope you get the answers you deserve x

It was a recovery email for his email I know about. The Instagram I know he has is for his usual email and as far as I knew he’s never had snapchat...

Well I can’t get onto it whatsoever! I’m going to tell him tonight I know he has another email I know nothing about and an Instagram/snapchat account..

Do you think he has cottoned on and changed passwords

I knew nothing about. lol

@ladymuck111

Do you think he has cottoned on and changed passwords

Yes I do, I think maybe some sort of alert went to the email as I was using his old number as his security question but now that isn’t working at all...

Don't mention the email. Don't mention anything that you know.
Just sit him down, say "you have a lot of explaining to do. I know everything" and let him dig his own hole.

I also think he’s changing the passwords for these accounts very regularly as yesterday it asked me to verify the last password that may have been used, I tried a few and with one it let me progress onto the next step of the security question. Today that same password isn’t working.

When we’d managed to verify the security question the next page came straight up with his full name, now when I try to recover by putting his name it’s saying it’s the wrong one too so I think he’s completely changed every bit of it. The Instagram account is still active and the email hasn’t been deleted.

I got a old phone out of a drawrr. of my dh. Told him I had taken it to a phone shop and was off there in the morning to read all the recovered messages that they had called me to say they had managed to recover off it.

Told him if he wanted any chance of forgiveness had better start talking. He let on a little bit like they do. Know I still don't know the full story. But he said enough that I knew I didn't need to hear any more.

Needless to say he is now thankfully very x divorced and glad to have found out.

I have a lovely happy life now. Awful going thru all this but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I think you're instincts are going to be bang on unfortunately. I'm glad your mum is helping you out.

@Houseofvelour

Don't mention the email. Don't mention anything that you know. Just sit him down, say "you have a lot of explaining to do. I know everything" and let him dig his own hole.

This is what I would do!

He knows you know something....problem an alert about someone logging into his email. This explains the password changes, flowers out the blue this morning, wanting you to stay in bed with him etc.

He's changed all his passwords so I'd put money on the fact he'll have deleted any incriminating content so you might not get much form asking him about this.

@Houseofvelour suggestion is prob your best hope. He'll be wondering if it was you that tried to access his emails and he'll be panicking about how much you know so I'd call his bluff and let him think you know more than you do

I’m just glad my mum and sister visited yesterday and my sister managed to find his secret email etc.

We’d got all the way to the bit of sending the text message to his phone (his new number) but he’s was at work so I wouldn’t have got the code :/

Tech savvy, thats not good news, sounds like gaslighting city from now on.

You have my sympathy.
Forget the phone/email, get a recording device or camera.

It's not the knowing the relationship is buggered, it's the damage on their way out by gaslighting and smear campaigns and financial lies.

I think it’s time to Invest in a camera/recording device too!

Any suggestions ladies?